First mouse must apologize to her loyal readers for the abrupt absence from blogging. It truly was nothing personal and came about first, by being busy and secondly, being bored. Not at all bored with Daddy, but we've aettled comfortably into a routine. To keep repeating how wonderful it all is, seemed, well, dull. There's really been little angst and a major deepening of submissives feelings that have frankly turned mouse upside-down.
See, when mouse started this journey she had these notions of what being a slave was. What it was about and how it should be. Some of what she thought was spot on, it's not about abuse or being Domineered but being guided along a path to personal perfection. Perfection is a bad word, but to be honest it fits because when you hand your life over to someone else, you have to know they will change things about you they find unappealing. What's worse, you'll find yourself craving those changes as well -- as if to say yes there is MORE!
More that mouse can be. Daddy saw it so very clearly and it's taken mouse a couple years now to catch up to him. Now she sees it. This mouse today is quieter, happier and more contented than she EVER thought possible, her mind no longer races from subject to subject but can focus on a task or two. Seeing them through to completion and preparing herself for the next part. This inner peace is amazing and yes, she's making Master seem like a god-like man for bestowing his gift of Dominance into her life. Really, it's sounding cultish, and mouse hates that! It's just that mouse now understands her purpose so much clearer than before and relishes that sense of clarity Daddy has brought to her life. He has guided her into being what he needs.
What is it that he needs? A woman who is confident enough to let him lead her. A woman who can allow herself to be as feminine as she can be, while at the same time quietly demand attention from others. To forgive herself for not being "perfect" because she is anyway, along as she belongs to him. Of course this is what Daddy wanted and other men might have different ideas. Daddy's own ideas might change as time passes, who knows? Who cares? We are right now.
The past is done, the future is laid out before us all and all we really have is today.