Received an excellent question earlier in the week and decided to tackle it here today.
Dear mouse, I have been reading your blog for a while and relate so much, thank you for sharing with us. Would you give any tips for overcoming clinginess? Did Omega help you with that in some way? I don't want clinginess to push my Sir away. Thank you.
First of all thank you for the compliment and for reading. As to your question....well it's been mouse's experience the Dom types generally like our clinginess...when mouse just can't get enough of Daddy and has that deep need to crawl inside him -- he kinda enjoys it. Now, there are appropriate times for those feelings. When Daddy is in his study working, mouse needs to demonstrate patience (a hobby is a great way to fill in those times). Daddy doesn't mind it if mouse focuses on another task, so long as its quiet.
If he's at work, sometimes mouse will send him a text message or write him an email, but is also careful not overwhelm his inbox or expect a reply. We do kinda keep up on Twitter, he can look and see everything mouse has posted. He likes that and occasionally replies. Other things mouse does is to focus on her tasks, like work and chores...after all she does these things for Daddy. Or in times of shear desperation, she will go for a walk.
One thing that Daddy has done to kinda help with those feelings is to keep mouse busy. Being idle for too long isn't good for mouse, it allows her to think too much and fears and worries start to creep in. Keeping busy helps. If permission is granted, sometimes chatting with a friend helps too, someone who understands the lifestyle and can help with the bumps.
Now there is a clinginess that occurs after a scene that's also natural and should be expected by the Dom. That's when those feelings of crawling inside Daddy are most pronounced. The need or desire to suck and worship him comes out in huge ways for mouse, not sure why that is, something to ponder another time. All this is followed by subdrop, where mouse feels like the rug has been ripped out from under her feet. Lots of crying and neediness but, again Daddy is aware of that and plans accordingly.
Communication and understanding is the key and an attentive Dom who takes aftercare seriously will help satisfy those feelings, or at the very least make them bearable for the two of you. Talking about when those feelings occur and what else can be done to ease them is an important step.
Truthfully, wouldn't worry too much about clinginess driving a Dom away, they should be striving to achieve that whether they realize it or not.
Thanks for the great question and hope mouse answered it. If you have any followup questions feel free to ask away...
ask mouse anything
6 comments:
Thank you very much for your response mouse. Before, I googled for tips, and that just led to answers that don't apply the same way to this lifestyle. All the dating sites said to avoid calling or texting and to basically play hard to get, well that is not really helpful in this context as playing games is not exactly what a sub/slave needs to be doing. Your tips with staying busy, remembering that Doms don't necessarily mind clingy, and to remember everything I am doing, even when he is not with me, I am doing for him...these are very helpful. Thank you.
Glad mouse's tips were useful.
Hugs,
mouse
Roughly motivational place of duty you give rise to at this juncture. Seems to facilitate lots of relations enjoyed and benefited from it. Cheers and credit.
Mouse, I also have been reading your blog for a while and it has helped me in so many ways including sorting out my feelings and understanding that what I feel is not strange or weird, it's simply submissive and I'm not the only one who has these feelings.
So anyway on to my comment... Thank you for this post on neediness and being clingy.. wow did it help! I too am guilty of being clingy and needy. Just bc I love Him so much and honestly love being around Him all the time. I know that's not possible and I admit I've not always handled it in the best ways. At times I even have acted somewhat bratty with a attitude when I've not gotten the attention I think I deserved... Which usually ends with me standing in a corner and then being told to present my Barr bottom over a stack of pillows across His bed. That usually helps get me right back where I need to be, as much as I hate to admit it.
Your tips will help Himself realize I'm making an effort and will help me to be more pleasing.
And from a sore red bottom
Thank you Mouse... For this post and other things you dont even know:)
Genna
Thank you so much for writing about your relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we have a very intense love. I sometimes feel crazy because I am obsessed with him. I want to drink his come and taste his sweat. I wish I could spend every second of the day with him. I've never felt like that with anyone before. But I can't be crazy, because he reciprocates and enjoys my adoration, and enjoys telling me what to do and having control over me.
I have difficulty because, while I am very social and have many friends, I feel alienated because our relationship is so different than others. I often feel like we love each other more than other couples. It really struck a chord when Mouse mentioned keeping quiet when her girlfriends bashed their husbands. I have learned to reign in how I express my true feelings. If I were to express the depth of my love and satisfaction, it would make others uncomfortable.
I am a strong, beautiful, ambitious and intelligent woman, but in my relationship I am submissive and feel free to be feminine, vulnerable, and delicate. This is a very private thing that I can express with Him.
Finding and reading your blog makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing this. I am only beginning to understand our dynamic, and this has been very helpful.
"has that deep need to crawl inside him"
I have said this exact thing to my Sir on multiple occasions. I'd never felt like I wanted to be that close to anyone before, and I was just amazed that someone else verbalized it so exactly as I had!
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