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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Surrender, surrender

Greetings from mouse,

Lately, mouse has had the song by Cheap Trick, called Surrender, rolling through her mind and thought that surrender might make for an interesting topic for the blog and it blends so nicely with mouse's latest thing with song lyrics...

Even though Daddy's been part of mouse's life for many years, even when we became a "couple," mouse didn't and couldn't just give herself away to him. He also didn't take because he could. There were issues, the past hanging over us, obscuring at times our path. But Daddy shined brightly to show the way. Through great patience, mouse slowly learned how to trust him, and each time he only as much as she offered. The trust that built up slowly, forming reserves of trust, which were needed when we problems.

That was how we made it through. Each day that passed we really continued to grow together. We've had our issues, our triumphs and big failures, but we learn from those missteps. We've in many ways isolated and insulated ourselves from the outside world. We like it that way. We let people take a peek into our lives, but only through a thick window covering. Maybe it's more like guided tour, we direct attention this way, but away from personal areas we don't want to share.

Recently, mouse pondered what it means to surrender yourself...here she was wrapped up safely in Daddy's arms and thoughts rolling around like a pinball machine. Bouncing around here and there. Yet that desire seems primal and strong...surrender.

Yesterday, the cleaning lady came, mouse struggled juggling the baby, dinner and helping kiddo with homework. Dinner was under control, so mouse decided to make some martinis for Daddy when he got home. He was surprised, musing if mouse planned to get him drunk to break bad news or take advantage of him. No bad news...take advantage of him?

That thought never crossed mouse's mind...


4 comments:

  1. The end of your post gave me a nice chuckle! I am sure the act of making the Martini's was just as nice for you as Omega.

    It is comforting to hear that Omega and you still grow each day. I have so many worries being at the beginning and following you daily really has helped me tremendously. Dealing with the past is a really tough issue and fighting that while feeling this strong urge to surrender causes conflict for me that is hard to wrap my head around.

    I guess if it was easy it wouldn't be worth it but it sure would be nice if it was easy.

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    Replies
    1. Blogging can be a lot like therapy. Certainly cheaper, but just as hard. Because of the honesty involved, it's best that your SO have access to those thoughts as well. Not suggesting that fellow bloggers can't help...they can, but only so much.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  2. Serafina and I absolutely love your blog, and it's sometimes eerie how there are parallels.

    We too have insulated and isolated ourselves from the "real" world. I actually used to work in politics (shhhh don't tell - hahaha) and was forever immersed not only in the news of the day, but also was full of insider knowledge about all the little deals and defeats that happened behind the scene. I knew so much it made me sick, it still does if I stop and think about how the world really works.

    We'll be taking it even further, as we are creating small rituals to try and keep our personal time and space private and sacred. It's important to Serafina, and it's important to me too, as the connection we have with each other, is by far the most important thing in both our lives.

    And yes, blogging can be healthy for mind, body and soul. We feel very blessed to have found and started online connections to folks such as yourself. We hope to become better friends, while still respecting each other's window coverings (what a great metaphor!) :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Sir!

      You're very right. The connection between Omega and mouse is very strong and we're lucky to have each other. Sometimes mouse is very overwhelmed by the support she receives from this community.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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