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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The fundamental things apply

Greetings from mouse,

We worked through our issues, we took apart our fears and the things holding us back. It wasn't about who won or lost. Who gave in or up. We learned that if we're going to make our lives work it cannot be one sided.

A Master slave relationship on the surface can seem very singular. The slave gives, the Master receives, but that's just a glance really.  It's far more intricate.  Many think slavery is about waiting for the Dom to say, "jump!" so sub can reply, "how high?"  It's not really like that at all...now mouse mentioned all this before but it bears repeating.  It's true mouse has a limit, a hard limit that was discovered very much by accident.  Some might suggest that she hand over her slave card, but the truth is everyone has limits.  For a slave to pronounce that she has none, means that she just hasn't been probed deep enough to find one.  Or, even more frightening, that she's so afraid of losing what she has that she'll just submit to anything or just about it...let's stay away from the cutting off one's arm argument...let's assume the Dom has more sense than that, shall we?  


Limits come up when you least expect them to...you think you're okay with something; then Wham!  You're just not.  

The bitter truth is we are humans, and specifically women; not big breasted robots from Gor. We are emotional, human, female. Try as you might, there are things about us that simply cannot be changed. It takes strength to submit, great strength actually. We aren't less than our Dominant counterparts. We are equal. Without us, they can't exist. Without them, neither can we.

We each have our own power in the exchange. It's like alternating currant, continuously goes back and forth. Direct current just flows in one direction. The current must alternate.

In making the joint effort to save our marriage, we saved our dynamic and learned along the way symbiotic existence. As much as we love each other, we need each other more. We are very different people and somewhat hopelessly mismatched.

Omega is a man firmly born in the wrong time. He could have easily been born in the 1930s or before. The way he carries himself, the way he dresses. He wears a hat...not a baseball cap, but a proper man's hat. Causal for him is not wearing a tie. Denim is for yard work, manual labor, or maybe camping or fishing. His hair is trimmed every three weeks, his goatee is trimmed as needed. He despises an untidy apperarence. He demands to lead.

While he enjoys mouse's writing, but cannot stand her word choices -- for example he gave her a thesaurus. Unfortunately, the word, "dunno," couldn't be found. To her denim is fashionable and just fine for running around. The music she listens to is mostly rubbish at least to him...we're very different.

Yet, the need is there under it all, beyond our differences and the ways we drive each other crazy. We each had to bend sometimes slightly sometimes hugely. While on the surface it seems often that mouse has twisted herself into a pretzel to please her man. He's had to bend too and mouse appreciates it and it makes her want to bend in other ways to please him.

Now, yesterday while getting the paper for O, mouse slipped on the icy driveway (Seriously, it's late March, shouldn't be any ice around anymore...stupid fucking weather).  While O loves to see the sight of his slave crawling...not for that reason! Crawling at that point seemed more safe than trying to stand on the ice and falling again (how did the 3 Stooges do all those prat falls without serious injury?).  Nothing hurt too bad, mouse can drive, walk..go up and down the stairs...just not fly up them...Thankfully she wasn't carrying the baby.  Of course, O insisted that she go to the ER, however, dunno mouse just didn't feel it's that bad...yanno?  You just kinda know your pride is hurt more than anything.  However did concede that if it continues to hurt -- the way it does now...she would go.

This morning, it was horribly stiff but not too bad, sleeping was difficult.  O had to stay on his side of the bed :(

He just kept his hand on mouse's head most of the night.





Song selection: As Time Goes By; written by Herman Hupfeld, performed by Ella Fitzgerald

23 comments:

  1. Glad you were not seriously hurt from your fall. I've found this wonderful organic gel called Bio-Freeze that helps with muscle strains/pulls, it doesn't smell that great going on but the smell goes away very quickly. It really helps relive muscle pain.

    Hope your feeling 100% soon.

    hugs,
    heather1

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    Replies
    1. heather1,

      Omega has these pain patches that he put on. It helps. Just been resting it a lot. Bruises have risen to the surface...Ugh. They're running along the tendens and muscles.

      Just taking advil now tho...don't really need anything stronger and those pain patches seem to help.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. My Serafina is fond of saying that it takes two hands to clap . . .

    big hugs,
    Michael

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  3. Oh I hope you feel better soon!

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. It feels a little better each day really. The swelling isn't as bad either.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. I keep changing my opinion on limits, i think everyone has them but who decides what they are thats what i keep going around and around with.

    Bear with me here, so in my mind for example enemas i hate them, i see nothing erotic about it they were a hard limit for me simply because i really dont like them.

    My Master however sees it as its not my place to decide what a limit is based on just not liking something, if it was damaging mentally or physically or for medical reasons etc then that would be fair enough and it would not be an issue at all.

    So i have been made to endure an enema because it pleased him to do so, i have had said to me that him making me do this is an abuse of his position, but i have previously agreed to hand my limits over to him.

    Its like where do you draw the line?...does that make sense.

    Hope you feel less sore as the day progresses, and to the er if not.

    best wishes
    tori

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    Replies
    1. Actually tori it makes perfect sense. Everyone does have a limit. Yes, in theory all hard limits should be respected, but at the same time...some may be pushed. It depends on the limit and what happens when you do it.

      From your example, mouse would say that perhaps your enema issue isn't really a "hard limit," and rather a soft limit. Soft limits are for things you simply don't want to do...but you will because they're not mentally, spiritually or physically damaging. A soft limit is something that sometimes you'll just endure because it makes them so damn happy. A hard limit can change to a soft one...And to be honest, a soft limit at some point could become a hard one, if there is much distress going on in other areas of your dynamic or personal life.

      Even with a very hard limit, the Dominant can decide to push that limit "to test the waters," but even then it should be handled carefully. But it shouldn't be done without discussion and possibly a safe-word. That was our problem, Omega didn't pay attention to mouse's discomfort when we slammed against mouse's limit; our relationship became very brittle and eventually shattered.

      Now, in our case we were able to put the pieces back together. But make no mistake they're still not all back. We're continuing to do the work.

      On paper, what you said about handing your limits over to him sounds quite normal. However, as mouse wrote, sometimes limits come up out of nowhere. Even things you think will be ok, turn out to be very wrong for you.

      That is the real danger of a power exchange relationship. The honesty and clear communication is extremely important.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  5. I love your imagery and description of both of you bending for each other. Two things that have bent an twisted together, to accommodate each other, become intertwined and harder to pull apart. They grow together.

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    Replies
    1. gg,

      That's an excellent point! And you're right, honestly mouse hadn't thought of it quite that way, but Omega pointed it out and was rather pleased with your comment -- in fact when he published it he said to mouse..."See, green girl thoroughly understands the imagery."

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  6. I hope you are feeling better really soon. Try to rest if you can.

    I know sometimes we as bottoms don't really like talking about our limits as it doesn't really seem to fit in the overall plan. I do believe it is necessary though. As time goes on I find I tend to have more on the emtional side rather than the physical but I do agree it is because we have not probed deep enough yet.

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    1. Dancing...

      Yes, we don't want to speak about our limits. In the beginning we write them down, at least the ones we know about or thought about...then they sit. We trustingly hand them over and try to forget about them.

      Sometimes tho, we don't know about a limit...It just pops up...like a wall that you crash into unaware. Or sometimes, you know deep down that you couldn't handle it and when it's pushed, it sends you careening into that wall.

      And the truth is, while in the beginning of a first blush of new found excitement that we all know this lifestyle can bring, needs do change over time.

      And what might have been considered appalling earlier might seem pleasing later on. And this can surely happen to either of you.

      It was Omega who figured..."Oh mouse will be fine, we're together and she knows how much I love her." But as things changed he also learned there were limits to that love.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  7. Just a thought on your "big breasted robots from Gor" comment: Most of what people think about Gorean literature is wrong. The slaves weren't often mentioned because Norman was writing from Tarl's POV, but they had intricate emotions. Talena only faked her submission, Cara laughed openly in the face of men and declared her hate for them, Sura had no problem forcing slavery on other slaves, Elizabeth always called Tarl by his name. There is even a slave who never calls the free Master or Mistress. I don't consider slaves in Gor as flat as the online roleplay community would like us to believe, but you can only know that from reading the books and knowing how to pick out elements of literature. Rant over. I've been waiting a long time to say that. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You Go Missy! (mouse waives the pom-pom for ya)

      Seriously it was an offhanded remark by mouse because it is very much the way the "online" community sees Gor to be and what it's really morphed into.

      Women bereft of any choice, except to submit, and that includes "Free" women too.

      Thank you for chiming in!

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  8. Ugh! I hate slipping on ice. I'm naturally clumsy and have been flat on my bottom many times. I hope you get better soon, and if you don't then it's off to the ER right? I hope so!

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    1. Mistress,

      Ugh...ice just ugh...

      Yes, if it's not better mouse will head to the ER or doctor...but really it does feel better each day.

      Just in small bits...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  9. Sorry about your fall! I hope you heal quickly.

    I have to admit that every time you talk about Omega, I immediately imagine Don Draper from Mad Men. :) I love seeing men dressed in suits.

    Take care!
    Tonya

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    Replies
    1. OOooh those suits on that show....Yummy.

      He has a Don Draper type suit...and hat...it makes mouse knees get weak when he wears it. He wears it mostly when we go out...swoon.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  10. Ice.
    Don'cha hate it?


    May the healing continue on all fronts!

    *the h-thing*

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    Replies
    1. Just wish the healing would go a little faster...getting tired of turning over during the night and waking up...From pain.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  11. Ouch! Stupid ice! Hope you feel better soon, mouse!

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    1. Jake,

      Yanno it didn't even look icy! It just looked wet. Normally mouse can tell the ground gets that sparkle...there was NO sparkle. O went into the garage to see what was taking mouse so long...He didn't fall but he admitted it was slippery.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  12. Hello mouse,
    I do hope your knee heals quickly. As a former runner I can recall numerous knee injuries and it was such a pain in the bum because everything took a little more time and that frustrated me more than anything. Try to rest as much as you can and keep that knee elevated. :)

    As for limits, I pretty much think nearly everyone has them. I say nearly because there are out liars to every situation. I look at limits the same as I view unconditional love. I have heard many couples say they have unconditional love for each other; I do not. As odd as it may sound I have conditions in the relationship I share with Master. For instance, if Master were to have relations with a woman without me knowing about it, in my eyes he has cheated our relationship, and therefore he has gone against our conditions. I love Master but should he alter his promise to me, should he break his oath to me than my love may change.

    Like you mentioned I have the "normal" limits as in can not kill me, dismember me, stick pointy things into my eyes and cause me to go blind and so on and so forth. There are numerous areas of discomfort for me but they are not limits; however should Master engage with another person in an intimate, romantic, sexual manner without me knowing - well that is my hard limit.

    I think it is incredibly important to understand and respect limits because if one doesn't the relationship may eventually disintegrate.

    ~a

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