Therapy is something Omega wholeheartedly believes in. He will say it saved his life. So mouse was a good sport and went to the first therapist. Everything was fine until mouse mentioned that she was a slave to her previous owner, Alpha. Ya, that went over like a fart in church.
Therapist number two was nice, understood the power exchange but felt sadism was a mental defect and as it turned out was deeply religious.
Therapist number three was nicer than the first two and was a great listener. Seemed to ask the right questions of mouse and reduced mouse to tears more than a few times. The therapist encouraged mouse to explore her feelings about the abuse and made her feel safe to do it.
The anger toward Alpha was finally coming out...the open hostility toward all he'd done to mouse, all he'd taken from her. The changes he'd done without much regard to her future all were lifted in those therapy sessions. Now, mouse did omit somethings...but did discuss Beta Master. Did her best to explain that they were friends and for lack of a better word, shared mouse. Alpha was the main owner and Beta could use mouse when Alpha was or wasn't around. While mouse did point out that Beta was more attentive to mouse's needs and comfort than Alpha was...the therapist was understanding. Until the therapist realized that Beta was indeed Omega and that we had reconnected and resumed a friendship.
Meanwhile Omega continued to spend time with mouse our relationship was changing and growing. He would be a little more open about affections, letting mouse know that he was serious about her and wanted serious consideration from her. He never once kissed her on the lips during this time, or was more forward than politeness would allow (aside from the time we ended up in bed -- which he felt was an unfortunate error, neither of us were ready for). And it was frustrating to mouse...clearly this man was not from this century... and yet he was.
Occasionally, mouse might bring up what was discussed in therapy and Omega would listen with the objectivity of a judge. We would though, talk and discuss various events in our mutual past. For once we were both acknowledging that our past was indeed intertwined. To be certain mouse was seeing him very different than before. He began to talk more freely about his own demons and the troubles he's had. Why he sought help and it turned out that it had little to do with mouse leaving and EVERYTHING to do with him figuring out how out of control his life was spinning. He admitted he was waltzing with a dangerous pattern that could ruin him.
We talked about a lot things during those times, endless debates about politics and religion. Music and life...
Sometimes he seemed so relaxed it startled her, while other times he was intense and eyes crackled with fire.
They say, the very things that annoy you about another person are very things you should examine in yourself.
In therapy mouse safely explored those feelings and discovered that she was every bit as moody as he was and what was worse our moods seemed to align in an odd way. They fed each other but they also calmed each other. We found solace in each other.
Was this healthy mouse wondered?
The therapist didn't think so and objected completely to us at every turn. It became difficult to even discuss Omega with the therapist and mouse sadly began to lie. Leaving parts of him out of the discussion, instead focusing on parts of her past instead of the whole thing. Hiding is never good, and mouse felt it necessary to hide those parts from everyone.
The thing was, deep down she felt different about him and realized somewhere along the way that she mostly always had. The patient way Omega had dealt with mouse over the course of past three years had shown her so much about him.
We were moving closer to each other and the therapist was wary.
To be continued...
Song selection: My Back Pages; Bob Dylan