This blog contains information that is adult in nature. If you are underage please leave at once.


Friday, April 13, 2012

Romantic Facts of Musketeers...

Continued...

Let's face it, shall we...men are nice to have around.  They can do stuff, they aren't afraid of power tools (hush, you know what mouse means), they own things like screwdrivers.  

Once mouse was over her pneumonia, Omega remained around much more often.  Quite naturally, mouse made excuses for him hanging around.  He's just being helpful.  He just worries.  We're just good friends...Old good friends...

Around once a week he would come over...sometimes mouse would cook for him, sometimes he'd bring food.   He'd never outright boss mouse around but sometimes he'd make heavy suggestions...Her food preferences, stuff like that.   He'd get picky wondering if she every looked in her fridge or threw anything away...then he'd worry that she had nothing to eat.  A pound of bacon in the freezer, molding bread, and mayonaise does not a balanced diet make.  

Where were the fruits and vegetables?  Well duh, at the salad bar.  

Once while he was over, he remarked that he could install an eye-hook to the wall behind the bed...

Now mouse looked at him and asked, what the hell for?  

Now mind you...he still hadn't so much as moved beyond friends...yanno?  

It kinda shook mouse up tho and she remained quiet the rest of the day, really quiet.  What he didn't know or maybe what he didn't remember was that her relationship with Alpha had started in an odd way.  He had never touched mouse sexually or physically either.  Once he had her submission and she became his slave, he whipped her and fucked her in the ass.  

No way no how did mouse want to jump from being his friend to his slave...

This whole thing had burned mouse up...here he was installing a shelf and talking about eye hooks behind the bed...

All of sudden the tears flowed and she hated him for it.  In what can only be described as a cathartic release of words, mouse blurted utter nonsense.  Inside her head it became jumbled...For just a brief moment she worried would he just take her the way Alpha had.   Of course none of those thoughts made  sense or actually came out her mouth, just a steady flow of sobs, gulps and big tears.  There was an eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room wearing a BDSM tee-shirt and no one would acknowledge it.  Not him nor mouse. 

It had taken years for it to happen, but she finally cracked.  The next thing she recalled, mouse was being wrapped in his arms, holding her close to his chest and she could feel his heart pounding.  He was smoothing her hair and rocking her gently like a child.  His voice was soft and soothing, he'd remark later to mouse that he often wondered about the past and how hurt mouse was by it all.   

As mouse calmed, he remained close and but eventually went home.  He didn't call and mouse didn't see him for a month -- saying he was busy.  When he did come around he was different, guarded.  His eyes would fall on mouse in that way like he was reaching into her head.  He took her out one night, we talked and it was nice...but it felt very different.  Like we were back to square one.  

That evening he walked mouse to the door and kissed her cheek very softly and squeezed her hand.  

While our friendship cooled down somewhat...we'd changed slowly.  He saw the post traumatic stress in mouse, just through observing her really.  He started to notice or see the cracks in her armor.   He knew mouse had walls and he was trying to find ways around them.  

One night, we ended in bed...it was hot.  Everything was wild...passionate...

We really hadn't drank that much...but were overcome with emotion...still don't know why...our passions overran our heads...and honestly mouse thought it was goodbye...

But it wasn't...the next day, he apologized for his behavior...He didn't apologize for the sex...just for his behavior.  

Again the ground cracked beneath mouse's feet.

This time when mouse fell apart and couldn't stop crying, he came over because she didn't answer he phone.  This was worse...mouse was scared...afraid of losing her friend and afraid to be more than a friend.  The fear and the past had gripped her...

He held her close rocking and soothing her eventually as she calmed down...he suggested therapy.  He said she needed help.  He wasn't sure he could handle such a huge undertaking.  

So mouse entered therapy...

To be continued

Song selection: My Back Pages; Bob Dylan

11 comments:

  1. WOW mouse, have only been reading your blog a few months. You must of really had a BAD situation in your previous relationship to react as you did. Just get hints and touches every now and again. Think I'll wander on down to 2009 and read up to present.

    Omega seems too good to be true...a caring, understanding, gentle yet strict loving Dom. You and Kitty (Sweet Surrender) are sooo lucky!
    Thanks for sharing
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Joyce. We appreciate you reading our story.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. I love hearing about all this. I absolutely cannot wait to hear more. There is something in those moments of beiong rocked back and forth during and after a breakdown that changes you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do admire how you are able to let people in (ie us the readers) although it may only be glimpses, its what i love about reading your thoughts you dont appear to hold back, that and i like your sense of humour. Do you think having this blog is in itself has become a form of therapy over time?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes it has totally been therapy. The only thing more helpful has been the ever-present Omega.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. Still enjoying the in depth narration of how you and Omega reconnected. :)

    On the other topic touched, my dad raised me like a boy to some extent. In order to drive I had to change my own oil and take care of the car repairs myself (if not major)...etc. I had a hard time after getting married letting those things go. My husband wanted to do those things because he felt they were his job as a man. Looking back, I miss some of it, (loved laying under a vehicle getting dirty) but for the most part I'm very thankful to have him there to do those things and that's when I feel most loved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting!!! Yes, when O does things like wielding his power drill or whatever...lol...mouse feels loved too. Actually he's really super handy to have around. Can't even begin to tell all the money he's saved mouse on repairs...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. you are a very brave girl mouse

    what a journey you've had

    hugs

    sfp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sfp,

      Honestly, mouse gets all her courage and strength from Omega. Without him, really dunno know where she'd be.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  6. I'm really enjoying reading how you and Omega got together, mouse. Thanks for sharing your story!

    ReplyDelete

All comments are moderated.