While Wednesday morning was very nice, by afternoon the house was clean, or as clean as it would get. Daddy came home in a good mood, we ate dinner and actually watched a movie together. Then Daddy went into his study to work a little and mouse joined him after getting the kids settled for the night.
Daddy asked mouse some questions -- mostly having to do with her submission to him. Was she happy with his control. Of course! He remarked that he thought mouse was happy (he didn't say the word happy -- something else that mouse can't recall right now) but wasn't sure. It seems her blog posts lately have been short on feelings or thoughts about submission. It's something that mouse thinks about often, but they're more passing thoughts. It's more than rote behaviors, these things she does now are ingrained deeply into mouse.
When entering Daddy's study, mouse sits on the floor and opens her blouse. Being open to him is a big part of who she is now. It's not difficult for her and nothing she struggles with anymore. Seeing to his needs. We talk about many things, but lately the lifestyle stuff hasn't been in the front of our relationship...that's probably not fair. We were on vacation, then we were apart during the week while mouse remained at the coast with the kids. Pesky real-life getting in the way.
Being close to Daddy is the best part and mouse did tell him so. The truth is she wants to be perfect for him in every way. At that comment, he arched an eyebrow. And while mouse didn't completely retract the "perfect" remark she explained it. It's not about being perfect or reaching something unobtainable, it's just about the way it makes her feel -- deep inside. It feels right. So yes mouse is reading books on organizing and watching YouTube videos on ironing and stain removal and yes, she's ashamed to admit, cleaning...being better...
Gosh it feels so much in all this that there's some super slave or super mom syndrome going on. But really that's not it, when mouse is more organized the day goes much easier. Even when things go very wrong, it's so much better, because mouse doesn't fall apart. it really helps mouse to sleep at night too.
Song selection: The Lion Sleeps Tonight; The Tokens