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Thursday, November 15, 2012

More on Arguments


This is a continuation on Arguments.  

We would also like to remind readers what mouse wrote in her first few sentences that arguments are RARE.  We used to have them but we really don't anymore.  Then mouse went onto to explain what sort of arguments we would have and what Daddy would do about it.  The only reason that mouse wrote it was because she felt it might be useful on how we deal with conflicts.   

A reader asked a question about raising children -- fundamental or cultural differences in raising children.

"Those things wouldn't bother me so much, the things I worry about are having a child with someone. Even people you are immensely close to can have very different ideas on how kids should be raised. Vaccines, breast or bottle, routines, pacifier or no pacifier are a few examples. What do you do then? See, my gut instinct is that there are some aspects of women's and child's health that men just aren't up to date on and if my Dominant wanted to give my baby formula as well as or instead of breastmilk, I don't think I could accept it. What do you do if you butt heads on things around your child(ren)?"

Honestly, it was a moment where mouse thought -- oh dear! There were many possible arguments mouse left out, because quite honestly we don't have them. If you ask the average person (married or just living together) they would probably say they argue most about money/finances with children and extended family a close second and third.  Since mouse lacks the whole extended family herself, well it's one less thing to worry about.  We do routinely pick our battles -- but doesn't everyone?  Daddy  knows if mouse goes to him with something regarding one of the kids...he listens carefully.  The children aren't like wood floors and mouse would NEVER be punished for something for said in their regard.  If the kiddo doesn't clean his room mouse has the right to take away a privilege and Daddy backs mouse up.  If mouse felt Daddy was being too harsh, she would tell him so.  Honestly, mouse has no issue with expressing herself.  Again, slavery is NOT a doormat!  

Daddy, for the most part leaves child rearing to mouse. Even before we were together, mouse would routinely butt in and advocate for kiddo. He likes that mouse would challenge his thinking in those ways.  He understands that he just doesn't know everything and wouldn't pretend to know.  Like a good General, he will ask for "suggestions." He will accept the one, which to him makes the lost sense and move forward from there.  And ya, sometimes he does feel his idea is best after hearing the suggestions.  That's ok too.  Is Daddy always right?  No.  No one is.  But he is right enough that we trust his judgement. 

Now we are lucky we both agree on many child-rearing issues. For the first few months of Babygirl's life, she slept in our bed. It made sense for us since mouse was nursing her nearly around the clock. After a time, however Daddy decided it was time for Babygirl to be in her own bed. We put if off, because mouse complained and fretted for a couple weeks. But eventually, mouse did agree, made a pot of coffee -- prepared for a bad night. Put Babygirl into her crib, said goodnight and kissed her. Downstairs mouse clutched the monitor. Waiting. Babygirl did cry for a total of 4 minutes and 37 seconds, exactly. Played, coo'd and made noises for another 40 (or so) minutes. Then nothing.

For three hours, mouse waited. Then cries were heard, honestly mouse was overjoyed and bolted up the stairs. Nursed the baby, changed the diaper, put her back into her crib, turned on the mobile and that was it.

Now whether this was unusual or not is a matter of debate, some people mouse knows had similar experiences, while others had horrible ones -- which is why mouse made coffee. Babygirl was fine, and has really remained fine since. Sure there's the occasional off night but for the most part she seems to like her crib. One thing mouse does now believe, Babygirl did sleep better (so does mouse) with the baby out of our room. Babygirl is a VERY noisy sleeper! To be sure mouse has no experiences with babies aside from Babygirl and considers herself blessed and lucky (tho sometimes she does muse how things will be during Babygirl's teen years...ugh).  But he was the one who made the call and obviously he was right.  

Money is another thing we don't argue about. Daddy handles the finances and sets mouse's budget -- although she does go over her budget at times. He doesn't mind it, so long as its not a lot. Daddy does decide what we eat. He doesn't really pick recipes. An example,, mouse might say that she's thinking about cooking chicken and a sauce of veggies and tomatoes served over rice -- then ask what he thinks. He'll give it a thumbs up or down. He might say he'd prefer something else like fish or completely different.  

We have a well-stocked pantry so mouse doesn't have a problem and having Daddy involved is wonderful too!

There are times that mouse will plan something special, he totally allows mouse opportunities to "surprise" him with a nice meal or outing.

The important part is that we know each other well, we discussed out views on child rearing, holidays and other things and mouse understood his character and nature.  Yes, he can be stubborn but so can mouse.  We accept those areas where we are completely opposite.   

8 comments:

  1. Good clarification and I especially enjoy the part hearing about Babygirl going into her own room!

    "H" and I currently have our twinsies in bed with us, they are about 9 weeks now. But, I know it will be better for everyone once they can get into cribs in their own room.
    I'm fretting over it already!

    Thanks for sharing the story. I know my little buddies will be OK once we do go to putting them in the crib in the other room, I just can't imagine it right now.


    -Emi J

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    Replies
    1. Oh Emi....

      Oh that issue was horrible and mouse was sooooo torn about it but she did start using the crib for naps so it wouldn't be completely foreign to Babygirl when the time came.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. You know, mouse, you're such a sensible person it's really good to read your stuff. The two of you are the kind of people I would like to know.

    Good luck with the teenage period, ours is there now and not so easy as my other children were.

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    Replies
    1. Malcolm Sir,

      Thank you for the lovely compliment. :-)

      Well kiddo is 13 and we're getting a bit of a taste...girls are totally different tho when they hit their teen years...

      Should be interesting...

      Hugs,

      Delete
  3. Thanks for answering this. As much as I like reading the erotic side of your relationship, I like to get a realistic idea of how one would handle this sort of relationship alongside all the normal, mundane but wholly necessary parts of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Annelle,

      We're rather like a well-oiled machine at this point so if you have questions feel free to ask them.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. I don't think it's hard to agree, as a couple on how to raise kids, though it's not always perfect and we can get angry with them and each other.
    -sin

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    Replies
    1. sin,

      Honestly, mouse tends to agree with that.

      We do have some pretty big differences tho...but honestly mouse has backed down on those...it's much easier to just pick the battles that are important and not use all your...whatever...fighting about something that doesn't really matter.

      Seriously - mouse needs coffee....hopefully she'll won't come back later and read this only to find it makes no sense at all.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete

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