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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Like a Door that Keeps Revolving

There was a time, not so very long ago this blog had purpose. It was a place where mouse could share her thoughts safely with Daddy and if it hoped someone else, well that was great. It was about life -- mouse's life, thoughts, feelings, worries, joys, and sorrows.

Today there is not a thought put down that Daddy doesn't know about beforehand. The way we communicate is so much improved, mouse at least with him has lost the ability to edit or filter her thoughts. Daddy is very old school when it comes to certain things. He's certainly a throwback to a generation long gone. He loves a good martini and jazz. He'd rather listen to Sinatra. He wears a hat. He's comfortable that way.

It's funny in 2011 mouse was laid off her job, and decided to be a stay-at-home mother to our children; one or two of her friends blamed Daddy and his antiquated ways. They took mouse aside and questioned if she wasn't doing this because he wanted her "barefoot in the kitchen." Really they made it seem as though, by not putting our daughter in daycare and running back to work that somehow mouse was hurting womanhood. If anything feminism has taught mouse is that women can be anything! Including a stay-at-home wife, mother and slave! It doesn't diminish what mouse is, or her potential in the least and we're fortunate enough that it's a choice we could afford.  Still triggers are unsuspecting things, you just never know when one will strike.  When the past will cough up a hairball that sends  mouse into a tizzy.  But when it does happen now, mouse wastes no time discussing it with Daddy and that's a good thing.  

Recently, Daddy asked mouse to take up a hobby (he believes all slaves should have a quiet hobby) Something that she can do easily when the housework is complete and children have gone to bed. Guess we can say cocksucking wasn't the kind of hobby he had in mind. Though he certainly wouldn't have put up a huge fight had mouse suggested it. No, he wanted her to do something that wouldn't involve servicing him -- something mouse could do while she waits to serve him.

As a child, mouse was enthralled by her great-grandmother's crocheting. The beautiful doilies she'd create, each a small work of art in the most ugly colors (it was the orange and avocado green era after all). But mouse although eager to learn had absolutely zero aptitude for it. Great-grandma then sighed and suggested knitting. Now, knitting did seem a little easier, but mouse didn't stick with it.

So, mouse decided to try knitting again as her hobby. And with images of gorgeous cable-knitt sweaters in her head, mouse began. Slowly, teaching herself from a book -- a great book with lots of pictures on how to knitt -- some things remembered from when great-grandma tried to teach mouse as a kid. Then reality set in....

Let's be honest, she's not very good -- sure she might be able to do a scarf but her BabyGirl would be in college before it was finished! But it gives her something to do with her hands that's different and mentally relaxing. There are "holes" where she knitted a row too tightly followed by a looser one....but it doesn't really matter much to mouse. Because its really practice.

Of course that practice might continue forever and mouse will never do more than a simple scarf. Or maybe just a bookmark!

Song selection: Windmills of Your Mind


  1. mouse - I had a chuckle at cock sucking not being a hobby! :)
    I find it's hard to leave the work world and become a stay at home momma.. I am currently trying to balance it after 10 years of "older kids" and having my current job, for the past 4 years - and now having infants again!

    While I am somewhat accomplished at sewing, I too have tried my hand a crocheting... Yikes... I find it to be quite difficult!
    I have not even made my youngest daughter a scarf - so making lines and practicing is exactly where I'm at as well.
    I do wish I had more time for it, although, sewing cloth diapers has become a new fad for me, so who knows where that will go!

    It IS mentally relaxing and my "H" gets frustrated when I don't find any "me" time in a week or weekend where I can sew, or do some other quiet craft.
    I have to admit, it gives one quite the head space - sometimes that is good and sometimes that can be bad!

    Good luck on the book mark, that's about all I think I'll be able to create as well and I SO envisioned these cute little football crocheted hats for my twinsies! I'll have to hire it out maybe? ;)

  2. Cock sucking isn't a hobby?!

    Seriously though, I'm exactly the opposite--I wanted so badly to be able to knit, but I just could never manage to wield two things at once, so I stick to crochet. I do stripes, and flat things--never managed to learn anything from a book like how to make hats and things with shape...
    It is nice and relaxing. Until I discover that I turned around in the wrong spot three rows back...

  3. What is it with some women? I would have given my eye teeth to have been able to stay at home with my kids. Unfortunately it wasn't financially possible, but I did cut back to part time and was lucky that my mom wanted to watch her grand kids. I would have missed so much if I had worked full time that the extras we would have been able to afford wouldn't have been worth it. There's nothing wrong with a woman having a career if she chooses and some people don't have a choice financially, but because a woman chooses to be a stay at home mom it should not diminish her worth.

  4. I cant knit..well unless you count a dishcloth i knitted at school for mothering Sunday! i enjoy card-making and am fairly good at it, even sold quite a lot at school fayres...ok so its not exactly difficult but i enjoy going out and getting all the little bits for different occassions Easter, birthdays etc...and the bossman even done out one of the spare bedrooms for me to have my own space. (i think it was because he was getting exasperated with all my bits and bobs everwhere!)

    I had the opposite reaction when i chose to work when my children were babies, my mother was mortified and comments were made along the lines of "why have children if your going to dump them on someone else" but i felt it was the right decision for me and then when my marriage broke up it was a financial need.

    Now my children are older 10 and 15 before Christmas i made the decision with the bossmans full support to drastically cut back my work commitments (i guess im doing it backwards) so i have more time for my children.


  5. There were so many times I felt anger thrown at me for staying home to take care of my family and home. But I enjoyed every minute of it. Looking back over the years now that all my children are adults I am thankful for the time I spent with them.

    I'm glad you are finding something to do that you will find a sense of accomplishment when you are done. Through the years when I stayed home I took on a great many hobbies, some as my way of contributing to what Dave brought home by making every cent go further. I got involved with crocheting(I was the opposite of you and could not knit), sewing, gardening, canning, etc. and I home cooked all our meals from the basics learning much from library cookbooks.

    I could never understand how anyone could think less about what I contributed to my family than if I'd brought home a paycheck. I hope this encourages you, mouse, that what you are doing is what is best for your family. And anything we try at first will be difficult; proficiency comes with time, practice and patience. Everything I learned was usually not the best, but Dave was always encouraging and had a lot of patience with some blunders before I gained skill at whatever task I was working.

  6. I'm so sorry that some have made feel like staying at home was not worth as much as going to work for a paycheck. Being a stay at home mom is in itself a full time job, and we don't get a paycheck for it! I find it rather ridiculous that the feminist movement worked so hard to give women more of a voice, more choices, and yet some choices (like being a stay at home mom) are ridiculed or looked down upon. I am so glad I am able to be a stay at home mom. :)

    I've never tried knitting, though I think it would be fun. I used to crochet a lot and I really loved that, but it's been years since I last made anything. Vincent and my mother have actually encouraged me to find a hobby as well (well, pretty much said I have to if I want to stay sane). So, I'm hoping to pick up sewing. I used to sew a lot when I was a little girl, and recently made my daughter a dress. I just need my own sewing machine...

    I'm glad you're picking up knitting, it's good to have something relaxing and enjoyable to do that is all your own.



  7. This slave tried to learn to crochet once and found it terribly difficult even after taking a class. Now quilting is ones favorite pastime although that took a while to get the hang of as well.

  8. I have a cedar chest full of "garter stitch only" afghans, myself...

  9. My mother stayed at home until we were all big enough to walk home from school (3rd grade) and then went back to work at a needlecraft store. I don't think she ever brought home cash, I'm sure they just paid her in yarn and canvas. Tough to declare on taxes.

    My wife stayed home after #2 was born and the math didn't work out with babysitters, dry cleaners, and commuting costs. She also got the stink eye from women at work. Pity that women don't support each other in the variety of options now available.

    A woman once told her that she was "lucky" to stay home. Wife replied that "luck" had nothing to do with it. it was about sacrificing the 2nd nice car for a junker, it was skipping vacations to Hawaii and going to San Diego instead. It was about hand-me-down clothes and trips to the recycling center, and watching your friends buy their jet ski while you go biking in the park. you are sacrificing and putting your kids first, that is commendable and your kids will thank you for it.

    I'd rather have a scrapbook full of park pictures and kids who love their mom, than pictures by the Eiffel Tower and spoiled brats looking bored.

    You are doing the right thing. And, my friends daughter is fantastic at knitting, we can get you two in touch for lessons.


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