On Wednesday mouse was looking at various blogs, and came across lil's post about being an emotional masochist, mouse remarked, "All you are and everything you could be, is wrapped up in that moment of surrender."
The comment was really off the cuff, words that had been playing in mouse's head for days. Surrendering is something mouse resisted -- silly huh? Surrendering means giving it all without expectation of return. Of course, there is a return -- but that's not the point.
When it happened, mouse's moment of surrender, was during a trying time in our dynamic -- in our marriage. There was a moment of clarity and of understanding when mouse fell to her knees and exclaimed, "i get it." Yes, it was an odd first person moment for mouse that seemed to cumulate in her speaking very clearly those words to Daddy. "I get it."
The walls came tumbling down, and the loss of fear was cathartic. It came out like a primal scream breaking the silence in her mind. It was probably a moment the Dom, the Master in him couldn't resist such a delicious display of capitulation. He grabbed a handful of mouse's hair, causing her to shiver, and captured her mouth with his own. The kiss was forceful. Revealing. Exposing nerves mouse didn't understand were there.
His hand still gripping her hair, as he freed his cock with the other and pushed it into mouse's mouth. Before she finished though, he pulled out. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He covered her body with his own and entered mouse, her body undulating beneath his weight, feeling safe. In a hoarse whisper, he told mouse how badly he loved her and kissed away her tears.
What was so strange about it...mouse's surrender...was had she realized how important, needed and completely necessary there's no way she would have waited so long to do it. Has she ever mentioned how patient Daddy can be?
Now, anytime she displays herself, debases herself or offers any part of herself for his pleasure, she's really reaffirming her surrender to him.
Because in the end; all mouse is and everything she could be, is wrapped up in that moment of surrender. And now those words have become her new mantra.