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Monday, April 8, 2013

Sarcasm

This was written actually last week and sat in our draft folder.  Daddy published it this morning without telling mouse...LOL.  He liked it when he read it the first time. Said it made him smile.

He's twisted that way.

*******

There are times when it's perfectly acceptable for mouse to be sarcastic, but there are moments when the sarcasm isn't welcomed at all.  

The other night at dinner Daddy remarked the chicken was dry.  Now, it should be said, mouse doesn't do chicken breasts very well -- especially the boneless skinless variety.  These had a nice sauce with mushrooms but that didn't seem to help it much.  It also didn't help that Daddy was late coming home from work.  

The meals around our home are planned out for a specific time.  So mouse became a whole lot defensive and very annoyed with him when he made the comment (it's bad enough seeing him dump hot sauce all over everything -- as if saying it's not seasoned properly).  Sarcastically replying that if he wasn't happy with the meal -- he should probably arrange to hire a cook.  

We're fluent in sarcasm.  But sometimes we take it too far and feelings become hurt (mouse) or someone (him) gets pissed off.  He became cross and remarked that his mother always made perfect chicken.  Now this statement was half under his breath but loud enough so that mouse could hear it.

Oh seriously we're going there?!  For a moment, the gloves came off.   Well, nearly so. 

We will sometimes banter back and forth like that.  

It generally means nothing.  

Except that his mother is a terrible cook.

There!  It's been said.

Keeping a home...well mouse could ONLY wish our home were that clean.  But cook?  No MIL isn't the best.  Everyone in his family has told mouse that and they routinely joke about it -- even she does.

She remarked once that every one of her son's made sure they learned to cook themselves or married women who could cook.  It should be noted, she said it as though she were revealing a plan.  

So, that off the cuff remark by Daddy really annoyed mouse.  

Pouting -- mouse stewed in the comment.

Daddy smirked and remarked how nice the silence was.  

Now, mouse was fuming.  It was like having an out of body experience, when mouse stood up, picked up his plate and walked to the garbage can and scraped the plate.  Shut off the light in the kitchen and took the baby (maybe for protection) and went upstairs.  

Upstairs mouse rolled over the whole thing in her mind...Stubbornly mouse dug in her heels.

This was NOT her fault.

In fact mouse was sooo pissed at him after getting the baby to bed, she went upstairs to our room and flipped on the TV and began watching The Sopranos.  

Muther Fucker

When he came upstairs, to bed.  He looked at mouse, grabbed her by the leg and pulled her as she clawed at the bedding.  

We had amazing sex and it was raw, carnal....

After tho...he held mouse and apologized about the crack about the chicken.

All mouse said was thank you.

Obviously we weren't completely behind it all.

He was fishing for an apology for her behavior and she knew it.  The fact he apologized first meant nothing...

In that moment he flipped mouse over, and began smacking her ass.  Hard with his hand.  

"Ok!" mouse cried, "Sorry!"

"For what slut?" 

"For throwing your dinner in the trash." 

Then he left and went into the bathroom returning with his leather strap.  

After reddening mouse's ass with that he pulled her close....

All the anger had ebbed away....

And again mouse apologized much more sincerely this time that she was truly sorry that she tossed his meal into the trash.  

He mused that it really did belong there.

*Ding* 

Did ya hear that?  Round two.   

No, not really...this time mouse laughed.  

That's the way it is with us sometimes...

And really we're ok with it.  



29 comments:

  1. 18 years ago I spent a few days staying with a family that didn't use any sarcasm at all. It was a revelation to me. I decided then and there to give up sarcasm and I haven't looked back. Now, to me, sarcasm seems like a way to be rude without having to be accountable for it. I know plenty of people find it funny, but as you say, feelings get hurt. I love living without it. ....CeCe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christie,

      Did it take long to give it up? It's funny (or maybe more telling) that mouse can't imagine life without at least, little sarcasm in it. But honestly, maybe it's something for mouse to try harder at.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. (smiles) It does occur to me that quite possibly, i shouldn't, but i LOVE this. i am still hearing about the ONE time i made some fancy recipe with panko and she hated it, though honestly it was good and just not what she was expecting. i would have LOVED to have taken her plate, right then, and dumped it out. i spent hours on it and am used to her generally gracious manners. That night? Not so much in the manners department.

    jade
    www.jadescastle.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi jade,

      When mouse wrote it, it sat in her draft folder because she was worried...guess -- wasn't sure how it would be taken.

      Yea it wasn't mouse's finest moment. Daddy found mouse's account of it tho quite funny. Guess he remembered just being as nice as could be the whole time and completely out of the blue mouse took his plate and threw the food away.

      Oh gosh! There's mouse going again....

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. My MIL did not teach any of her five daughters how to cook. Thank God!

    I loved your account of you day.

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    Replies
    1. LOL joey!

      Too funny. Thanks for reading!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. OH mouse...

    WOW - I don't know what it is with MILs and food (some how my MIL is like the "be all end all of food" to her family, although I happen to think most of her food to be bland and well.. rudimentary) .. or food comments in general, but I take it to heart SO much that I'd be fuming as well!!! I'd be pissed, and hurt. :( - I do take heart being a home maker for "H".

    I'm happy that it ended well, but I just had to smile because this is something that is SO us! - I'm not sure I'd get strapped, but I'd be spanked for sure for hiding out in the bedroom and such... (probably be the wooden brush for me!)


    Oh yeh - The Sopranos, love that one! ;)

    Take care!

    -Emi

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    Replies
    1. Emi,

      Really don't know what it is...maybe it's just looking back on the simplicity of life? Who knows why....Daddy tho is a great cook. He really is. One of our favorite things is sometimes cook together.

      Ha! But that leads to arguments. "You're boiling...it's supposed to braised." LOL

      In the end who cares? As long as we have fun. Really wish more arguments would end for mouse with the leather strap....or brush...or hand...

      It doesn't happen every time...Only when he feels its appropriate. He gages the anger level and the seriousness.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. Dear mouse,
    a) watching the Sopranos after a conversation about MiL - is that at all wise?
    b) I agree chicken breasts are hard to make succulent and tender, I generally make them dessicated
    c) The spoiler in our house is Worcester sauce, not surprising for a man who lives on hot HOT curries.
    Glad you made up in one round.
    DF

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    Replies
    1. Dear DF,

      LOL...actually mouse watching the Sopranos at any time isn't probably a good thing...it's like her mouth becomes a sewer of profanity that Daddy doesn't mind at the right moment...

      Unfortunate for mouse, she always seems to pick the wrong moments.

      Chicken breasts...the jokes about dehydrated chicken, while they've gotten old...Seriously it's something that's taken mouse almost 4 years to work on perfecting...And damn it...ONE DAY she'll discover the secret. Whole chicken, is much easier and it almost always comes out perfect.

      Daddy LOVES hot curries...OMG he could eat it everyday. And he'd still add hot sauce or something to it.

      Makes mouse nuts...

      Hugs,
      mouse


      Delete
  6. You know, I absolutely hate seeing my meals drowned in hot sauce!
    It kind of feels like a silent "this sucks so I have to make sure I can't taste it at all" lol.

    We are quite fluent in sarcasm too. My problem comes when I encounter people who aren't...for some reason, they tend to get horribly offended...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lil,

      The hot sauce thing actually does bug mouse...sometimes she'll make something spicy, and will warn him..."You might want to taste it first." and he will and still DUMP hot sauce all over it. As if to say..."you think this is spicy?"

      And we have like 30 bottles of different types. He has his "go to" ones...but then he's got the more specialized ones...

      It makes mouse's head spin sometimes...

      When mouse cooks she likes to layer flavors...herbs and stuff...into it...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  7. Omg I loved this!...Too funny! And you kinda had it coming!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      Yep...mouse did.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  8. Sarcasm is my first language...English my second! Lol! I do understand how easily feelings can get hurt though and I'm sorry yours did. But he see a to know just how to reel you back in... Good for him!

    P

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    Replies
    1. Pocahontas,

      O M G...LMAO....

      Ya...

      Most of the time it's all good...all fair in love and war...
      but ya that time, it irked mouse...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  9. My MIL couldn't cook at all, so my husband learned how to at an early age in order to keep from starving. When we were dating he wooed me with fabulous dinners at his apartment. Logically, when we married he handled all the cooking. Until the day he came home from work too tired to cook and asked me to. So I went to the freezer, took out frozen chicken breasts, and dumped them into a pot of cold water. I sat down on the couch, smiled sweetly,and said that dinner would be ready in a 1/2 hour. I believe there was some crack on his behalf about his mother and me, but I still just smiled sweetly. Whatever else our dynamic might be, however we divide up responsibilities, I will never be allowed in his kitchen. This is now a hard and fast rule.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sillyone,

      That's too funny. We have some friends like that. Daddy is actually a great cook. He says mouse has improved greatly since we've been married.

      Not sure tho how that happened.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  10. Mouse, you crack me up sometimes :) This is a whole 'nother mouse, but she's just as endearing :)

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. June,

      Thanks so much. Daddy likes it when mouse writes about things like this. He finds it refreshing...

      And he really likes it when mouse gets a little angry with him. Not a lot angry...just angry enough to keep things interesting...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. You're welcome Ma'am. Thank you for stopping by!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  12. round two - so funny!

    good luck

    -sin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks sin...

      And ya we have those moments...Doesn't everyone?

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  13. I loved this post. And identified with it. In 6 days my husband and I have been together 20 years. We can be sarcastic & playful and sometimes that gets me into trouble. We have a banter that people find funny exhaust we basically have grown up together. But sometimes it's that banter that crosses the line but when yuu said he grabbed yuu playfully and forceful reminded me a lot of my weekend. I also woke up in the middle of the night we kinda had a sarcastic moment while flying home tht let to some attitude on my part justifiably I night add men can be big man babies. Sadly he caught a flight as soon as we landed to Sea so we didn't get to smooth all the ruffled feathers. But I woke to find a text that I passed out waiting for that I was forgiven & the jacket he needed was waiting for him at the hotel when he arrived at 11pm. Got to lie nordstroms. I think it's the fire of sarcasm that keeps things fresh but be careful that it doesn't to far. It's good to both say sorry even if some times it takes a red bottom & a smile to do so. night night again ST

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    Replies
    1. ST,

      Sarcastic and playful is a nice way to be!

      Thanks for your comments and for reading.

      Hugs,
      mosue

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Tiffany,

      We usually do make up nicely!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  15. lol, oh yeah....sarcasm can get me in a wee bit of trouble sometimes. ;)
    very gutsy mouse!! not sure I could have done that!!

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