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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Breaks Like a little Girl

After a longer, harder spanking than normal, mouse was awash with emotions she couldn't have anticipated. The pain was too varied, hard softer, thuddy, hard, hard...it was impossible to get to the quiet place. Surprisingly, mouse became angry over it. This wasn't what she wanted...she wanted, no needed to escape to that place and it was like he locked the door and stuck a 'No Admittance' sign on it.
Words she said months ago came crashing back into her head; irony can be a total bitch. Suddenly, mouse found herself in a completely unsubmissive place. Daddy was completely nonplussed by the attitude he was being given and he forced mouse to her knees, shoving himself inside her mouth forcing her to suck him. At once he pulled out, slapped mouse's face hard and then grabbed her by her hair and returned her mouth to work. The next time he removed himself, he came in her face. It was mean, coldly indifferent and horrifying.

And it was exactly what mouse needed. Almost.

Then he began spanking mouse again, this time with the cane he keeps under the bed that mouse completely forgot was even there. The whistle followed by the thud, and of course the squeal of non pleasure from mouse...

When at last mouse capitulated to him and really even now she can't say why she faught him so hard about it.

Because she was fighting him. Holding parts of herself back from him. Parts, she didn't think he'd notice or scarcely care about. Yet, he does care and it shouldn't be a surprise to mouse. Sometimes the depth of him overwhelms her and she wants nothing more than to be overwhelmed by him. Overpowered.

Sometimes it's like there's this need to be taken by force and made to comply. Most times Daddy is more the wait for mouse to catch up to him -- and other times he'll force it. He seems to understand when it's needed. He took all her tears, all the angst bottled up inside her. He held her as she cried. All that night she slept with him close to her mouth. It was blissful for mouse.
Song Selection: Just Like a Woman; Bob Dylan

22 comments:

  1. "Sometimes it's like there's this need to be taken by force and made to comply"
    This.

    This is sometimes exactly what I need, although I don't even know it until it happens and then once I come to terms with all the emotions surrounding it - I am at peace.

    It's amazing that I can't see it before, only anger. I feel so silly at times afterwards.

    So glad you found bliss :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emi,

      Yes...the anger always surprises....but ya.

      Bliss is wonderful.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. mouse,

    Thank you for sharing. You are fortunate to have someone who really understands your state of mind and get you back to center.

    Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your welcome joey and thanks too!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. Ahhhh mouse how often i have been in that spot , and even when it is wrong kept in it. ty for the blog, i was heading that way, and now i am back tracking my behaviour a little .
    Hugs
    saffy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tracking behaviors...oh goodness yes.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. Sometimes when we know least what we need and are resistant, they know most what we need and are insistent. Once we get past that wall we feel we are hurdling toward to crash and burn, we find that the landing place was really their hearts, and we can breathe out that terrified breath and just be....and yes that is most blissful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. June!

      You said it beautifully!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. I am new to your blog and have been reading for several weeks. Though I am reading from newest to oldest which is a bit odd.

    However, reading today's blog, I must say that I am completely and utterly envious of you, mouse. You have truly found the yang to your yin. Your true self seems to shine through whilst surrendering to Omega.

    I'm new to this world for I chose to spend the last 5 years focused on raising my child. I decided when I turned the focus back to myself, that I wouldn't settle. I'd find what I wanted...nay, needed.

    After reading many of your writings and this one especially, I am compelled to say that you are a very lucky woman. And Omega is equally as blessed. You truly seem to flourish in your complete surrender to Omega's will. It is not a small feat...what you both have accomplished.

    I wish you and your family the best of luck. And thank you for your many words of inspiration. They give me such hope!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome!

      We hope you continue to comment.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  6. Sometimes i want to even fight being overpowered, i need it, i know at times but i dont know i just put the defences up.....but once thats past its a relief...just hate that i do that at times.

    and i know its comforting in an odd sort of way but sometimes the fact that they are so calm about these moments infuriates me more, the calm authority is a comfort even when i think.."why arent you getting angry with me"...i would be angry with me!

    x

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  7. I so get where you are coming from. It's a gift that you have your Daddy who KNOWS you...knows what you are really saying and needing, when your voice or actions betray what is really inside. And you can trust him to take care of you. What a great match!

    hugs,
    fiona

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fiona...

      Yes. Trust is very important.

      Extremely so.

      Delete
  8. Your partner DOES notice your resistance and he cares enough to show you the way out of it. A good dom is hard to find.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dave smith

      A good Dom is hard to find...so very true. Yes, Daddy does notice it.

      It's lovely. Welcome to our blog too.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  9. I realize that anger is just another emotion, it is in me, it is honest and it is most often not directed at him - not really, just in the moment.

    It upsets me that i end up there, but i love that he doesn't leave me there, that he takes me through it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it's like a flashpoint....isn't it weird though?

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  10. I so love the title ... Dylan's tune immediately started humming along in my mind. What a perfect match with the experience you describe x

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    Replies
    1. Thanks ava...music often speaks to mouse....

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  11. *deep sigh*

    So nice to be put in a better place.

    -H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hedone...

      Thanks so much for all your comments..

      <3 ya,
      mouse

      Delete

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