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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Conclusions

Daddy called mouse into his study last night, when she finished cleaning up the kitchen. There's been talk but little discussion of how of he will solve our sleep issue. At first mouse felt slighted that he wasn't discussing it with her. Its hard to feel out of that loop, to feel there isn't a choice or a voice in the matter. That's also because he knows what mouse would say. It's hard being that completely transparent.

Inside the study, mouse was on her knees, feeling a bit anxious. The anxiety, in retrospect was silly, it wasn't like she was awaiting punishment. He casually at first, stroked the top of mouse's head, patting her and telling her about our new schedule. He sorted it out in a way that made the most sense, giving up, what he feels is best.

It means, of course barring unforeseen issues, almost three hours more sleep at night, bringing us up to 8 hours. We exercise and shower together on most days and have sex a little less often. Everything is scheduled. We have been pushing ourselves so hard, it will take a few days to adjust to the new schedule but then he's confident it will work out just fine.

It was so hard for mouse to simply take a back seat in this subject. Daddy explained he liked mouse in the corset, since that became a requirement he's noticed changes in her. More gentle, less scattered (until the lack of sleep caught up with her), more self aware and these he said go far beyond when she would use the plug alone. He also admitted that he likes that she struggles with it. It's a reminder of her submission.

When Daddy admitted the waking an hour earlier (which quickly turned into 90 minutes) wasn't very well thought out on his part, but he appreciated greatly the level of trust mouse displayed in going along with it, mouse raised her eyes and looked at him. There was this swell of pride, because not once had she considered that leaving it all to him would mean so much.

He went on to say be removed a few demerits he felt were unfair in light of his revelation, so her penalty, worked up from 18 was reduced to 10.

Now his expression turned to surprise when she asked if he could leave them all. Regardless of reason, each she had earned. Somewhere in the back of her mind -- and this happens often when she worries that he'll think that she's trying to pull something over on him. But this time she was being sincere.

He didn't reply to it, instead unzipped his trousers and set mouse to work pleasuring him. Sometimes he likes mouse to think he's completely uninterested in what she's doing with her mouth and tongue. This time his hand rested on top of her head, as though he were holding something. Maybe a file, or a book? It makes her work harder to try to crack through his concentration. Thank goodness though his "Johnson" never recieved the memo about multitasking. It's an old game.

Long ago, in the early days of her slavery to alpha (before things there went terribly wrong), Omega would occassionally drop by. Often they would use mouse at the same time, one taking her by mouth, the other from behind, all while they discussed sports or politics...or whatever they fancied. For some reason maybe partly humiliation that mouse had debased herself for two men, and also because they both treated her like an object the whole thing always excited her.

When Daddy does it to her, the effect is similar. How long will he resist? How many times has he read the same line? Or does he not care at all? Could his focus be that good? All those thoughts pass through her mind, until his body sends a signal. Normally it's a twitch, or feeling of his hand grabbing onto her hair...

He can take his own time, because he knows mouse won't stop. The only thing that will disturb her now is the cry of the baby. When she finally feels his fingers touching her head, it's electic. His touch runs down her nervous system and settling between her legs. Sometimes he'll remark on her technique or when she hits the right spot. Mostly, he remains quiet. Stoic. Unflappable.

Where does his mind wander to? It's a loaded question...

When Master makes mouse suffer or pleasures her in some way, her thoughts vary between sometimes shear shame and how wonderfully thrilling it all is.

I love you Master!

4 comments:

  1. Hi Mouse

    It's very interesting to read that you have such a take on orally pleasuring Omega whilst he seemingly appears disinterested(not sure that's the right word but I'll use it anyway), because I find that level of detachment fuels my insecurities, the feeling that I'm not doing a good enough job, that I lack the ability to get my Sir off. I like to have the hand on my head, I like, no, I NEED to hear that He is enjoying what I'm doing or I very quickly disengage from the act, mentally retreat in order to lessen my embarrassment, hoping that He takes control and gets himself to that point without my active physical participation.
    Through your words I can see that just maybe, my insecurities are not worth giving much thought to, and that I should remain 'in the moment' during such intimacy and not assume that I'm not doing it properly.

    Flip x

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  2. My Master does the same thing, with multitasking. It was one of the hardest things for me to do mentally, to wrap my head around this because, like Flip says, I felt inadequate when he did it. But eventually he taught be that by doing it for him with a good attitude, that DID please him, and he really enjoyed the objectification it gave me. So I focus on the pleasure it gives him rather than having my feelings hurt over it.

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  3. mouse,

    Personally, I find it incredibly difficult to suffer for my dominant and wonder if my my efforts are even noticed. It is terribly frustrating.

    Hug,
    joey

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  4. ummm, I don't know. maybe I'm different from the other commenters, but I love it. to me it feels more like a game. I know he's getting more and more distracted....even if he's trying to act like he's not.
    like you said mouse, maybe his grip gets tighter, or I feel his thigh muscles contract(my hands stay on his thighs at all times when on my knees). if I'm really lucky, a groan. I love it when he groans.
    So even tho he acts like he's not a bit interested in what I'm doing, deep down, I know differently.
    xo,
    mg

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