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Friday, October 4, 2013

Dear Daddy

Yes, this is probably a bit impersonal but I just wanted to tell you and the rest of the world you were right. Lately, we both know I've behaved much like a petulant child. I asked for something and when it didn't feel like I imagined it to feel, I balked. I didn't show you the respect you deserved. The respect you've more than earned time and again. I didn't realize it until I had finished all my chores in record time -- like the whole week. Your lists really work! Then after doing laundry, I sent the text asking permission to another load and you sent a text back right away saying no. You told me if I had free time to watch a movie or read a book. I've been so selfish Daddy.

The concern has been more about me, how all this affects me, what this will all mean for me; instead I should have trusted that you knew what you were doing and what your intentions were. Of course, it's my blog and you've always been very nice about that, but it's been bleeding over into our personal life. I was mad at you and that was misdirected. The blog is the appropriate place for my thoughts, and that includes stuff about you too.

This week you punished me for breaking some of your expectations, but I've failed in so many other ways. I wanted a pass for willfully not meeting an expectation! You've been giving me a huge pass on so many other things. I'm so silly and stupid sometimes I worry how you stand it. Your always the calm in storm (well not always sometimes I am)., but when I get nutty, you're the one who understands what I need most. You understand me.

We've had our issues, along with our ups and downs, but each time, largely because of you we've weathered each storm.

Just so you know a longer much more personal letter can be found in the journal of scribbled out expectations. I love you. I hope that you don't mind this watered-down kinda personal letter on our blog. I'm lucky, I get to see all the parts of you that are hidden from most people and I love that. I love you!

Forever yours,

mouse

13 comments:

  1. :-) that brought tears to my eyes... (((hugs)))

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  2. Gotta love those come to jesus moments. Have a great weekend.

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  3. This is really beautiful mouse.

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  4. <3 Hugs mouse. that was lovely.

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  5. Very heartfelt. Remember, you may well mess up - he will correct you each time you do :)

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  6. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

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  7. aw mouse, that's beautiful! and gosh, your self awareness, humility & bravery in writing that - wow x

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  8. Thanks everyone for the lovely and wonderful comments!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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