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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Everything Old is New Again

This must be something mouse has written about in the past, because he likes the idea of them. The problem was, at the time he gave up when our lives began changing in healthy ways. At the time it was a huge relief for mouse, feeling a bit like a noose was loosened. Soon our lives really began changing and demerits were quickly forgotten about.

Or so it seemed. Or so mouse hoped.

"You need this mouse." Daddy said last week in bed.

In her head mouse said "fiddle-dee-dee" like Scarlet O'Hara, and would ignore his warning deciding instead to worry about that tomorrow. Of course there were moments, although fleeting, when she hesitating raising her arms for the corset, and he said, "a quarter point mouse."

Dismissing it in a silly way, thinking how on earth can be punish for a quarter point?

Unless there was more. While he never really explained his method, it didn't take mouse long to figure it out. Big infractions meant instant corrections and demerits to paid again later. Minor resulted in demerits alone, and percentages -- well mouse doesn't know or isn't sure.

He decided this week, Thursday is punishment day. He was being super considerate, so that the weekend wouldn't be ruined. He said this time, would be for a over a week of demerits. It's like mouse's head began to swim, mentally going over each possible infraction.

During meditation time things were swirling into her head, like not making a complete shopping list (yes, it happened again) and not planning out the errands, which mouse wasn't too sure about. Did he mean for her to do them the way he wanted them done or the way that made sense to her? How much trouble was she in?

The mental itemizing didn't stop even while we had sex, although mouse did keep repeating the same thoughts for lack of concentration. The only complete respite from the thoughts came that evening, while he bent her over his knee and spanked her. In bed, his last words to mouse was that she seemed distracted.

You think?

Not sure what hurt more the fact he rolled over and kept to his side the bed, leaving mouse to worry if this was a pre-punishment, punishment. By around 1:30am mouse's mental list of all her infractions was complete. The overall number probably hovered around 6.

Have you ever became so involved in a book, or liked a character so very much that you peeked a look at the end, just to make sure the character survived or was still around? Yes, mouse is guilty of that kind of impatience. It's exactly the kind of thing Daddy is trying and working so hard to make her stop doing.

This strong feeling burned in mouse to check the number, and see what she might be in for. To confirm her own mental number. Just this one time, then she'd know she could trust herself. Just this once. He was scribbling notes in his little black book (yes he has one of those) for more than a week. Before she could think she wss slipping from the bed,and putting on her bathrobe. It wasn't in his trouser pocket or in the dish where he keeps spare change, wallet and phone. It also wasn't in his suit jacket pocket. Honestly, mouse was on mission otherwise she might have felt like a thief or something.

Something.

Inside his study she found it, beside his briefcase on his desk and yes she was close. Eight demerits total -- At least so far.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Shit!"

"You left the bed."

It sounded somewhere between observation with a hint of accusation.  

Like a child caught with their fingers in the cookie jar, mouse replaced the book, turned around, lowered her eyes and her huge tell: chewed her lip. Could she explain? No. His bare foot was tapping on the floor. He threw on his bathrobe he saves for formal occasions, she could see the bottom hem. He wasn't moving so mouse did. Got on her knees and kissed his foot, then held onto his leg.  It's pure submission.  

Somehow she found the words to confess what she'd be up to, as though he hadn't a clue.  

He told mouse he forgave her this time, but to never do that again without permission. He didn't pull her up, but just touched the top of her head.  He mused that he didn't know what to do with her -- sometimes she is as bad a child.  

Really, mouse likes to think she keeps things interesting...

16 comments:

  1. oh mouse....I could just see you sneaking into Omega's study and in my head I kept saying, "Noooooo mouse, don't do it!" lol.
    I think I'd be tempted to do the same thing tho.
    demerits, good grief.
    hugs mouse, big ones for Thursday.
    xo,
    mg

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    Replies
    1. Thanks....it was a complete 'mouse moment" and Daddy actually found it a bit amusing. Of course mouse racked up a few more demerits...since posting that...

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  2. oh gosh, I'd probably do exactly the same as you mouse, and have done similar on occasion. I can't stand not knowing, not knowing exactly where I stand and what's going on, I get so anxious it makes me feel sick.

    It's transpiring that he likes confusing me, but I do wonder if he realises completely how awful it makes me feel - it takes a lot of self discipline not to make myself ill with fretting sometimes :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES that.. It would have made mouse nuts...

      The problem is (Daddy said) next week mouse will have just as much angst. He has already warned her the first time was rather cute...

      Hugs,
      mouse

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    2. eeeek! the operative word being 'first' i guess! Yes I was forgiven as well but I felt so AWFUL that I'd never EVER do it again.We don't do punishment but in this case he didn't need to, I did all the work myself!

      Delete
  3. Unfortunately, I could see myself doing the same thing:)

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    Replies
    1. little girl,
      There's actually a lot of comfort in that. Thanks

      hugs
      mouse

      Delete
  4. I've been following your blog for a little while and can't help agreeing with monkey girl, I was on the edge of my seat thinking, "No, mouse, don't do it!" Oh, but I can totally understand why you did! I find it difficult to figure out just which infractions are worse than others. It seems sometimes my idea is completely different than my Dom's. :-(

    It's all in learning and growing, I suppose. Good luck and thank you for sharing your bits of experience with everyone. I really enjoy your posts.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for commenting! Like mouse wrote just now to MG, it was a total mouse moment.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. Oh I hope you don't mind that I had a small laugh :( I feel awful to do so, but I've been laid up in bed for a few days and I honestly could just picture you sneaking to look in that book! I just know I'd do the same thing and like another had commented, I said inside side my head "oh mouse, don't do it!" but also wondering what was in there at the same time.
    I get so terrible anxious it practically drives my mind most days. It's so hard to look past it, or just have patience with it.

    Well, I'm glad you were forgiven.
    Hope all is well today.

    -Emi J

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    Replies
    1. Thanks emi....

      And yes it could have been much worse. But the stress and mouse's own inner Scarlett O'Hara pretending not to care until it got closer...

      Ugh. It'll be ok.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  6. *giggling*
    Oh mouse, oh mouse. I could not help but laugh. Not a giggle. Not a quiet he he. A real, full on tummy laugh. You poor thing. Still when he caught you all I could do was shake my head and think "sweet silly mouse, when will you learn".

    Big hugs,
    x

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh now you made mouse laugh because ya...

      It's one of those things that she should have known better....

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  7. Oh dear! I also hate to wait to find out about punishment, what it will be and how bad. He doesn't keep a book though, so sometimes not knowing is part of the punishment. Being in suspense. I'd rather get it over with right away, of course!

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    Replies
    1. Honestly mouse would prefer him NOT saying anything and then springing it on her...than telling her...this is what will happen...

      But that does nothing to relieve the stress the following week or the week after that...

      Hmmm Maybe mouse should think more on that strategy?

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  8. @mouse: I wouldn't mind if He would have a little black book and wrote stuff in it as long as I would know about each infraction. ;)

    @mamacrow, I know exactly what you mean. I like to know where I stand and not knowing makes me nervous and insecure and that ultimately leads to me being sick.

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