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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Harder than it has to Be

This; glaringly evident to anyone who's read this blog for a long time, mouse tends to take simple ideas and make them seem impossible. Obey, expectations, Daddy taking control are all concepts that aren't the least bit foreign to mouse. This morning mouse again cried as he put the corset on her -- just because she knows there isn't a choice. Most things he's done in the past haven't seemed this difficult.

When he took control of what mouse wears for example, he did leave small things for her to decide. Now, he doesn't. Ok, that's not fair. For around the first few months he let mouse make certain choices -- what went well with what -- but he learned. And then he took over -- so the whole corset thing shouldn't surprise mouse in the least.

Already he's noticed positive changes in mouse that encourages him and let's him know he's on the path. That we're on the right path. He's different too. Daddy, while being strict, is also much more open with mouse. He offers more praise and when he gives ideas, mouse takes them way more seriously. It's not a suggestion or something that mouse just blows off.

Also now mouse realizes how much she was blowing off. Don't even know how that began -- he allowed it on some levels. Daddy admits as much. There was a lot of changes and adjustments as our family grew. He did some control to help mouse really begin to heal, to foster some serious trust so that mouse could feel comfortable to share anything with him. Maybe it just became a timing thing? Looking back, it seems the whole year just flew passed, probably from around March on. Summer at the lake and not a lot of true alone time. Sure there were spankings snd quickies in the woods and doing things at night in the lake that frightened the fish. In total retrospect it was more than a few months spent in vanilla-vile. Or his version of it.

16 comments:

  1. Bear with me here, there is a point im getting at lol

    When i was off work earlier this year, and then cut my hours right back, i had more free time, and i shopped a lot with the girlies etc, now he has never really been too concerned with what i spend, he knows im sensible, and he hadnt minded me buying myself, him or the children the odd personal treat.

    But it was getting more than often, and so back in August he curtailed my personal spending, i now have a strict set budget for what he considers 'luxury' personal items that i just want rather than need..like nice underwear perfume, clothes etc, furthermore i am expected to ask his permission first before just buying it....and im getting a "no" more than i am a "yes"....and the no more often than not has me feeling a little resentful.....im hoping this will pass with time.

    And i struggled with this, still do, because i feel like he is taking something away from me, that to me is important..(not actually being able to have these things) but rather having the choice if i wanted to taken away.

    There have been tears, truthfully some of them in an attempt to hopefully get him to see how upset i am, and also genuine tears of pleading and being upset that he doesnt need to do this....he wont budge...and it still hasnt quite sunk in that he isnt going to...unless its on his terms.

    Perhaps its just the adjustment mouse? adjusting into accepting this and knowing its not going to change..perhaps maybe a teeny weeny little bit of resentment as well?

    anyway just some thoughts.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Yes it is an adjustment. The resentment goodness yes!

      although there are probably a few better days than bad ones..

      Thanks for your thoughts,
      Hugs,
      mouse

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  2. Mouse, I am new to your blog and to Ds dynamic. There's a lot for one to absorb, read about, understand and learn from on your blog. I really appreciate your train of thought and how you work through things. Thank you for your courage in sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome! And welcome to our blog! Hope you comment more often and thanks for reading.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. Mouse o admire you, I dont think I'd ever be able to submit to the level you do. Somedays even just D/s submitting is so hard for me as im used to being the very strong willed dominant figure myself rather than my Sirs very obidient submissive. What you endure and the dynamic you and daddy have is amazing to me. Hang in there

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    Replies
    1. It's not about giving it all up at once, it's really about growing into it.

      Thanks for your encouragement.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. It can be twice as hard to accept even more control after being in vanilla-vile for a while.

    Although we have not ever been there for as long as you are describing (which is totally understandable after a baby) what one has observed is that when he is ready to reinforce the way it is....it's way more than it was before. That being the case it's just twice as hard. So sorry you are struggling but as you mentioned what you are getting in return makes it worth it.

    Big hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We were hanging out more or less in that place for a long time...really it was a lot longer than mouse even realized but when you look at it now....How things are between us today and compare it to them...

      Oh yes the different is striking.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  5. "mouse tends to take simple ideas and make them seem impossible" I'm very good at this too (ugh).

    Even though I really have no idea what you're going through, I think Tori is right and once you adjust it will all seem normal and maybe even easy, okay maybe not easy but easier.

    Keep your eyes on the good things and the rest won't seem as bad because, honestly, would you want it any other way than his way?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty..

      Yes..and no mouse wouldn't want it any other way now that she sees how much happier she is...

      Hugs
      mouse

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  6. My sense is that Daddy knows mouse and has the right intention as difficult as it might be right now.

    Hug,
    joey

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  7. It's hard for everyone to adapt to kids growing. We want them to grow up, but sometimes it seems like they do it just as we are getting used to them at the ages they were. They will need you for a long time.

    And it sounds like you and Omega are working on trust and communications. Those things are never wasted.

    -sin

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    1. That's totally true...and yes your right. It's hard...because she's not mouse's little baby...and you start miss the times, when you could put her down, leave the room for a moment and find her in the same place.

      Crawling was a first struggle for mouse...and this is harder...but good too...Especially the potty part. This morning she pooped in the potty! So proud of her! And at the same time, mouse can clearly feel a door closing...

      But again as we all know there's another door to be opened.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  8. Hey, mouse, remember I said "There's no personal doer of our actions"? (I know you said you didn't like that idea.) So don't take all this to heart. What happens, happens. What Daddy does, he has to do. What you do, you have to do. Of course you are on the right path. There is only one path: what life brings you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sir! You're right about the path....it's ours and life happens...

      <3

      Hugs,
      mouse

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