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Thursday, November 14, 2013

More on Lurking

It's quite true, mouse lurks on more blogs that she could ever comment on.  On LOL8 Day someone left a comment on our blog, and then removed it.  They removed it once it was published.  Now, sometimes when people remove a comment it's because they notice some glaringly apparent spelling error or something along those lines.   They'll leave a replacement comment.  This person didn't.  

It wasn't surprising to mouse at all they might have chosen to do that and mouse suspects they stick to more DD or Spanking blogs in general and left a hasty comment because it was LOL day, possibly venturing here from elsewhere where mouse appears in the blogroll.   In fact, it's quite possible after reading more about mouse and her life...were frankly aghast and couldn't wait to remove the comment.  

While we do spank, and we do have a DD styled dynamic we aren't those things exclusively and witnessing a power exchange dynamic such as ours can be shocking to those who aren't used to seeing it.  

Honestly our issues are quite similar, because mouse is often afraid or uncertain to comment on DD or Spanking blogs because our dynamic and the way we live is so vastly different.   First, we have the 3rd person speak that mouse does...and then the whole way we live.  It might be fascinating for lurkers to read here all about it, but would they want mouse to venture into their neck of the woods, thanking them for commenting??  While some are very inclusive mouse also worries what their readers would think, the people commenting.  

Probably not.  

So, really no hard feelings to the person who erased their comment because this gave a reason to explain a bit why she might lurk but not comment on some people's blogs.  Even yesterday mouse left a comment on a blog and wondered later if she should have done that.  Was it opening mouse up to criticism, perhaps not from the blog owner, but maybe from their readers.  Blogging is a fluid thing.  

Leave a comment on one blog, and someone else reads it and ventures into your corner of the world...That's pretty much how it works.  There's not a lot of worry from the person who google searches "Power Exchange Dynamic" or words along those lines and our blog pops up -- they have an idea of what they're looking for.  When they just stumble into it by clicking on mouse's profile...well...That's completely different.

Now, there are people who might say, screw that, if they don't like it don't read it...But mouse isn't like that and certainly doesn't force anyone to accidentally happen upon something they might find offensive.   Intense submission is something that people can find offensive -- women just aren't supposed to be that way today and mouse completely thanks the feminists who blazed trails before her. From the Suffragettes, to the bra burners -- seriously mouse thanks you.   

Sure, they didn't have mouse in mind, choosing to be subjugated by her Husband/Master but they didn't just fight for the vote, they were fighting for women to have options that went far beyond what they had in years past  

38 comments:

  1. Mouse,

    Yes. While I appreciate all readers who drop by, I've felt and thought exactly along these trains of thoughts. You bring up several, well-thought out points ;)

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    1. Totally appreciate eveyone who leaves a comment...sometimes it's sticky to leave a comment on other blogs. Glad mouse isn't alone!
      Hugs

      Delete
  2. mouse,

    One of the most famous books about a female slave, The Story of O, was written by a feminist, someone who also fought for the French Resistance.

    I believe that you have a right to live your life your way. And, you have an inner happiness.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. Excellent point Joey! Thanks as usual...

      Delete
  3. Fantastic honest true words! Loved the part about feminists they championed and now we have the right to choose how we want to live. Thanks Sassy

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    1. Thanks sassy, we have so many options thanks to them.

      Delete
  4. I do the same, I read some DD blogs but rarely comment for that same reason. Even sillier, I hesitate to comment on blogs like yours and certain posts because I'm such a newbie -I have no idea what I'm talking about- and I shouldn't comment. I can usually work past that hesitation but isn't that silly! lol

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    1. You needn't hesitate here, new or not. But other places mouse can certainly understand it.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. Yeah, I don't comment on certain blogs because I don't feel comfortable going there and leaving a trace. I just wouldn't want to put that person into that position. You know, like an organizational blog or something. I only comment on blogs I would love hear back from, you know?

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    1. Julia...oh yes totally agree on that one too. There is a baking blog mouse reads and mouse is certain considering TPE or even MM content, not that we post explicit photos or something...A comment from mouse would not be welcome..

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  6. I'm in the same mindset as Misty B - not only am I still so new to this lifestyle, but I'm also in a LDR D/s, which is so different than what you and Omega have, it leaves me feeling like I don't have anything to contribute, but I really do enjoy your blog and many others that differ from my own experiences and perspective.

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    1. Angelina please don't feel that way! Honestly there are times mouse doesn't know what to say or feels all the good comments were taken. Lol.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  7. Hi mouse,

    I'm from a DD background, but strongly believe that, while there are people who will deny this because the concept frightens them, all levels of D/s based relationships hail from the same basic desire of an intrinsically submissive person to submit to a more dominant one. For that reason and because I run DD forums, I've made it my mission to try to understand how this can fit into different styles of relationship. It now seems to me that all that really differs from relationship to relationship is the extent of that desire and the mehods used to achieve it. Except that it has been my impression that in committed M/s relationships the sense of fulfilment and pleasure becomes no longer centred on the slave but on her devotion to her Master.

    That might not be for everyone, but it is nevertheless as much of a conscious and consensual choice at the outset as any other level of D/s and should be respected as such.

    What I really hate to see is the double standards that exist within a community that should be welded together by a common purpose. It seems that, while many people in one section of the community are keen to expound on how, provided that it doesn't affect others and is consensually agreed, we should be left alone to make our own choices, in reality this only extends to the limits of their own choices and they are just as likely as anyone else to cry "abuse", "brainwashing" and "wrong" if another person does things differently.

    I personally think that this is something of a tragedy.


    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes...this...it's sadly true. There's nothing mouse can add to this.

      Thank you so much for saying all this!
      <3

      Delete
  8. As a blogger I lurk on many blogs, especially DD ones. I'm aware that commenting might lead people back to my blog. They might not like the explicit content or other things I write about, but I've decided it shouldn't stop me commenting. We all have our own TTWD, varied as they are even within that four letter acronym.
    The 'thing' that removes us from the vanilla world is what binds us together.

    hugs
    DF

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    1. Very well said! And yes mouse shouldn't worry either...they are part of TTWD. Our thing is just a little different. We've had in the past comments that have been a tad harsh.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  9. mouse,
    I lurk because I overthink everything and am always worried about offending somebody or saying something wrong when I comment/blog. And now you've brought up some new worries for me...lol. Sometimes I think it’s just easier to read and enjoy quietly.
    I do want to say your blog is one of my favorites. Not for the ‘shock factor’, but because over the past few years I’ve identified with so many of your posts. As a newbie struggling to accept this side of myself and knowing my friends would never understand, reading your blog has made me feel a little less alone in the world. So even if I’m rarely brave enough to comment, I’m glad I’m really glad I stumbled across it.
    And awesome point about feminism being about choice. I have two daughters and more than anything I just want them to be who they are and do what makes them happy -- whether it’s staying home to take care of their husband or kids or running for president. So glad those women fought for all of us.
    hugs,
    aurora

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    1. Thank you so much aurora. Your comment meant so much to mouse!
      <3

      Delete
  10. I tend to find blogs just as you described, i read a blog, find a comment interesting etc and follow link, and its interesting that on reading this post earlier i made a point of looking at my blog list that i follow and there are more DD blogs than those that identify as M/s/tpe.....which has me wandering either im not coming accross them or indeed they are in the minority?

    I do think generally there is less understanding? of M/s/tpe, and i have had comments, although in no way offensive or being judgemental, they question in a way that gives me the distinct impression that they 'dont get it'.

    I wander if your commentator simply felt 'out of their depth'? for want of a better phrase.

    x

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    1. It's entirely possible tori they did feel out of depth. That's ok...it really is. It is a bit of self-protecting -- think we sometimes catch enough crap from people who just happen across our blogs...why open ourselves up to more.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  11. I did make a comment the day of the lurking then I deleted the comment later. I have never made a comment before on a blog and once I made the comment it showed up under our name (I didn't know that at the time). My HOH does read your blog form time to time and he would have flipped if he saw our name on the anything. I thought I was saying it anonymously. So when I saw our names had been published later when I came back to read the other comments I was worried I would get in trouble. :0) I then made a knee jerk reaction to delete the post with our names and repost under anonymously.

    I enjoy your blog a great deal and have for a while and I feel bad for any misunderstanding.

    FYI I do now know how to make a comment. :0) LOL!!!!!

    A

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    1. Your comment wasn't the one mouse was referring to (pretty sure). Your comment, seemed to be someone that understood the blog...does that make sense??

      The comment mouse was referring to was a very generic comment from someone just happening by for the first time -- at least that's what they alluded to.

      Your comment mouse thinks she published and when you deleted it, mouse deleted the name attached to the removed comment.

      The other comment mouse thinks came later. But live and learn! At least now maybe you won't be a stranger here? And if it ever happens again, just leave another comment with a message to Daddy -- he'll just not publish the other one. :)

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  12. Sometimes I'll delete a perfectly fine comment because I'm attached to the wrong ID --

    it may be as simple as that

    or

    stage fright

    Happy LOL8 late

    B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Think we had BOTH!

      No worries tho....

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  13. I'll be quick in what I want to say..from my heart, mouse, your blog is most assuredly on my top favorite's list and always has been. I know that you constantly worry so about criticism and judgement from others', but i wanted to let you know that I find your relationship and dynamic with Omega both fascinating and beautiful. Truly. I lurk here lots but don't comment..but not because I don't enjoy the read. I come from a DD background (originally), but have transitioned over the years into more of a M/s dynamic with my Husband/Owner, very similar in MANY respects to the one you share with your Master, with many a bit less formality about it. But still. You are a woman after my own heart..I understand you.

    Please continue to write with honesty and integrity, and above all else, continue to do what you do.

    sara

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    1. Thank you Sara, so much. Your words here mean more to mouse than she can express.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
    2. Okay.. all caught up again mouse! Sometimes I comment and other times I lurk. I guess it depends on the subject. I have had to delete a comment because it showed up under the wrong profile and I needed to redo it with the right on.
      As for missing Omega, I can so relate. Paladin was away for a long week, from Mon to Sun, and then has been sick since he's been home. He won't cuddle or kiss when he's so sick and so its been very rough, having him back and not getting the normal physical time. I find I read a lot too late when Paladin is gone. Or spend time socializing in Inworldz, a 3D workd on the internet. But nothing takes the place of pet for sure!

      Big hugs and I hope that he has come home to you by now,
      Mystress

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    3. Mystress,

      How nice to hear from you! Any comment from you is always welcome! It's hard when they're out of reach...hope Paladin is feeling much better.
      <3 and hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  14. This was written very well. Thank you. I've never seen such long comments as I don't typically read comments on the blog I just comment on it. I think I might have to read all the comments on this one just to know why they're so long. I totally agree, by the way.

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    1. Thanks Jacy...Never really thought about it much...really mouse welcomes comments of any length.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  15. Just lately i have just been reading blogs and have not even had the energy left to type up my own thoughts and feelings (due to the silly mix of meds) , let alone comment on things. i love reading your blog, and others..... you write about reality of things and not just the icing ( hope this makes sense.) Sometimes i do hit wrong buttons and delete what has been written by a mistake, and then will have used up all my pc time so will not be able to redo it,
    hugs
    saffy

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    1. Oh saffy,illnesses can be so difficult and medications...Know all too well the blogger gremlins that love to delete comments!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  16. Hi mouse. The post wasn't mine lol but I too tend to lurk on many blogs. I do enjoy the interaction and insights different people's journeys bring (I just posted on the very same thing!) I am quite happy to have people interact with me and you are always welcome! The main point of my post is ttwd with my Master and I...well who knows what letters to put in front of it! Our dynamic is ours, but I love to meet new people of similar mindset (or not so similar). I have stumbled on your blog a bit ago and so enjoy it :) I appreciate your struggles, joys, and musings for sure. I guess I left the ranks of lurker lol

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    1. Welcome! Glad you're not lurking.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  17. I tend to mostly lurk because it's rarely a subject I can personally identify with in actual experience, so my thoughts in my head seem wrong to share. Even though they might make perfect sense... dunno, somehow I always get a "she doesn't belong here" complex and say nothing. Or I write out a comment and delete it because it sounds stupid or just naive. I do a lot of reading, here and all over. Really though, if anyone's comment wasn't welcome, the comment would just get deleted anyway so suppose there's never really a problem commenting anywhere.

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    1. Chickadee you're always welcome to comment here, even if you think it's silly.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  18. I do tend to lurk on many other blogs too, and I don't tend to always leave a comment. But it is a habit I'm trying to break from. ;) I also thank the feminists for their work. Without them, we wouldn't have as much options as we do today. But it is my belief that you should be able to live your life the way you "because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” But it is not easy, I know. It is also another habit of mine that I'm trying to break.

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    1. Totally agree, and yes lurking is a hard habit to break...mouse lurks too a lot.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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