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Monday, January 13, 2014

Distracted Daddy

There are times, when Daddy becomes distracted he will withdraw a little from our dynamic. Well, now, that's not entirely fair or truthful. Our activities will become rote. Each morning, mouse will wake him by pleasuring him orally, which he really does enjoy, but after that our lives become a well-lubed machine. We do take time now to shower together, which adds some nice moments of playful intimacy; it's fleeting. In the evening, while he works in his study, mouse is more or less free to pursue something else aside from him. When he's immersed in work -- he becomes sexually selfish.

Late evening, before heading upstairs he'll quickly go through mouse's to do list for the next day -- making adjustments. Daddy will ask if there anything special that needs to be accomplished -- normally, this would also be the time he'd walk though the house looking it over. Lately however unless he notices it on his way, he's relying on mouse to cover those areas.

It's just hard on mouse because even though he's distracted, he's maintaining everything else -- except real use -- play -- fun stuff...yes?

Daddy does a wonderful job of maintaining the essentials, it's the extra stuff that falls by the wayside. Honestly, it makes feel like a greedy little bitch for feeling like that. There's not an easy way to reconcile it either, because it's work and while mouse understands that it's not easy for him to simply shift gears.

It leaves mouse wondering who's really the selfish one.

13 comments:

  1. (((Hugs)))) that kind of thing happens here too, and has recently. Part of the problem is I don't see real use/play/fun stuff as extras - I see those as the essentials!

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  2. I understand feeling selfish for yearning to play when Daddy is working long hours because work is essential and well play is less-essential. But I also feel that play helps to remind me of my role in our dynamic, to re-centre me when I start to waiver from my good girl submission ... I think yearning for play is a natural part of the D/s dynamic - selfish (at least in my mind) would be demanding it above all else. So perhaps you don't have to be so hard on yourself ... ava x

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    1. Yes! Work is more essential. But play has its place...just not right now, it seems. The schedule will improve son enough. :)

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  3. I understand feeling selfish yearning to play when Daddy is too busy with work because work is essential and well play is less-essential. But I also yearn for play because it helps to remind me of my role in our dynamic and to re-centre me when I waiver from my good-girl submission. Yearning (at least in my mind) is part of the D/s dynamic - selfish is demanding it above all else ... perhaps you don't have to be so hard on yourself mouse ava x

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  4. ahhhhh.....i was allowed to express similar sentiments tonight. <3

    things ive needed and worried over and talked them out. one, i already knew the answer to but felt it needed to be addressed as it was weighing on me. the other i asked for Him to control something i didn't think He cared about. but He did and thought similar things about me.

    Communicating is so vital.

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    1. The communication is very vital...even when nothing can really be done to change it.

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  5. Yup - exactly. I know that he has to see to all the aspects of all the things he does and life has it's cycles of busy and priorities. And I know that play/fun stuff/extra stuff is what really reinforces us, connects us, and allows us to communicate like nothing else can. And i know that our dynamic works much better if i don't get as much of it as i really want. But i also know that there's a tipping point past which things start to break down. And i struggle too with feeling greedy and selfish for focusing on my side of things. Feelings happen, maybe the fact that you are looking at his side of it in spite of feeling needy is the important piece.

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    1. Yes! This! There is a tipping point -- it happens sometimes over the summer months when things just become too busy because of other stuff that isn't work.

      Wonder if they go through it. Hmmm

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  6. From the Dom perspective, it can be very difficult to balance the family needs (kids, finance, job to support the first two) and the slave's needs (play with me!) With so much of the family needs riding on our shoulders, it's far too easy to neglect the play. Serafina is very good at reminding me, without ever taking any control away, it's a flirt or a look that says, her needs can't be put off much longer.

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    1. Oh thank you Sir and yes, they need gentle reminders too.

      Thanks for your comment!

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  7. We have those moments here too. I try hard to practice being extra supportive and understanding. When I can't stand it any longer sometimes I say something to My Love when I notice his stress that day is at the lowest....usually he 'snaps out of it' and recognizes we both have needs and sets things accordingly....but there are times he just uses me for release himself and I'm ok with that too...but there is always a tipping point. I can say, though, in the last year...that point is much further away! It's a small accomplishment...but one none the less. :) thank you for your post.

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    1. Picking the right time is the best and it helps mouse to know she's not alone..

      Hugs,
      mouse

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