Inside Daddy's study mouse feels wonderfully attentive, contained and she can feel every centimeter of her body respond to him. It's wonderful that mental state. Outside that place there are struggles. There are moments where mouse feels she is the anti-submissive. At those times her mind is cluttered with minutia and if mouse is completely honest with herself, it happens more often than she would care to admit.
When Daddy is at work, it's hard to keep focused, oh sure the lists and text messages from him certainly help, but it's not at all the same as when he's physically here. If you follow the companion blog (which is more about non-kink stuff) you know that Daddy was away for a few days with the kids. While it was nice to have a break from being just "mom" it did highlight how completely unsubmissive mouse feels at times. It's something we've discussed many times.
Yesterday morning, just before Daddy left for work, he brought mouse upstairs. He bent her over the bed and inserted a plug. The meduim one that just leaves mouse with that full feeling. After, he spanked mouse with the leather strap. Then he kissed her forehead, whiped the tears from her eyes and said that we'll see if that helps.
As mouse moved through her day, the plug filled her, when the stresses of the day increased, the plug provided comfort. When he sent a text a few hours later, telling mouse to remove the plug, she asked if she couldn't leave it in place for a while longer. Daddy knows best, though and said no.
Dutifully, mouse removed it, then washed it carefully. The empty feeling was there, so mouse sat and wrote a little in the handwritten journal and looked over the expectations Daddy has. Thoughts about them poured out of her as she wrote them there. Then, she left the journal on his desk, as a signal that it's been updated.
That evening Daddy read what she wrote and said that for now, we'll return to the maintenance schedule. That evening he gave mouse an extra long spank over his knee with only his hand. The feelings of surrender were very evident in mouse as he, afterward had her kneel on the floor snd pleasure him with her mouth.