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Friday, March 28, 2014

Tangled Up

Last night, Daddy skipped the maintenance or maybe he forgot, so in the morning he spent a longer time with mouse this morning. It seemed to last forever the slow methodical spanking first with his hand, then he switched to the leather strap. He didn't, naturally, do it very hard, since it's not for punishment. The pressure was even, but mouse felt obstinate.

No tears, no surrender -- and mouse just felt anger and resentment toward him.

He didn't keep his word, he neglected to do it last night. Of course, mouse also didn't mention it and at the time felt lucky. This morning when he sat on the chaise and slapped his thigh, saying in an almost sing-song voice, "Maintenance time, mouse." Really, there was a moment when she thought to say, no.

Instead she removed her bathrobe, and stretched over his knee. The sound of his hand, striking her flesh, just aggravated her even more. Everything about this whole experience was just upsetting. It's not often that mouse feels so tangled up in her own emotions that she hates him a little for it. The "it" is that thing we do.

Slavery. It's times like this mouse almost wishes she could withdraw her consent. Almost, not exactly though.

When he slipped the corset over her head, and cinched it tightly there were no words between us. There was a bit of agression, passively displayed as mouse hurried to get breakfast on the table. Fruit sliced, eggs cooked, coffee pressed and tabke set. But none served with happiness. The open hostility ebbed away, yes mouse actually tried to hang on to it.

It wasn't until Daddy was ready to leave for work all the emotions backed up on her. Bad thoughts entered her mind -- the what if's mouse thought were long banished. Lowering her eyes and stood before him feeling remorseful.

Maybe Daddy gets it? His look said that to mouse at least. Although it's possible that mouse just projected it. Before he walked out the door, however he did say he expected a blog post on this before 9am.

To think mouse actually thought about giving up this blog, reasoning that's it's outlived it's usefulness. We're wonderful right?


  1. Feelings, even if suppressed and ignored, are still valid.

  2. Left feeling to wonder and ponder, dangerous....but I love that he made you write.

  3. My Darling mouse,

    Are we wonderful? I believe so. Has your journal outlived its usefulness? Hardly! This is the proper venue for such musing. All of your thoughts, emotional responses and your passive aggression were duly noted. I also noted the time this post went live.

    No worries my sweet mouse. You are allowed to be miffed at me on occasion. Discussion is key.

    You serve me well (even when you lack the enthusiasm to do so),

  4. It is so hard for me to stay pleasant when I'm upset as well. It is really hard to let that frustration go sometimes... it can be harder to hold onto it though... how is it that your posts always mirror my feelings?

  5. It can be very hard to let go of things, resentment, frustration, anger. You are very honest here. Sometimes honest is the most we can manage.


  6. you are a better woman that i mouse , i still struggle on the keeping a smiling face when feeling let down, in fact in the past i have become downright brattish . All kudos to both you and your Sir in the handling of this.


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