That's life, that's what all the people sayYou're riding high in April, shot down in MayBut I know I'm gunna change that tune, when I'm back on top -- back on top in June...
Last night with eyes fully open mouse entered the study at Sir's request, to discuss the weeks demerits. After the week we've had, could he actually consider punishing mouse for the accrued points? Part of her wished he would suspend them, a larger part actually needed him to carry it out. Even if it hurt. Especially if it hurt and it would, since her welts are still quite evident. It would demonstrate though to her that we had moved beyond it.
So, with an odd mixture of emotions she stood before the desk she had a love/hate affair with. He spoke decidedly about the mistakes she had made and why she would be punished -- at this point she felt really she had suffered enough this week. Everything she wrote in that first paragraph, forget it. In a flash, mouse was angry with him all over again.
He assisted her to bend over the desk, and he lifted her skirt and held her position. Using only his hand he struck her bottom several times, and tears of anger were replaced with regrets. Everything she wrote in the first paragraph, the one she told everyone to forget about in the second paragraph...Well it was true. Every word. No matter how conflicted she felt about the punishment -- she needed to be held accountable for her other mistakes. Just as she had held him responsible for his.
After he gathered her into his arms, soothing the tears. Then we spoke about what mouse could have done instead, better choices she could have made. There was this sense of relief to have the slate clear -- to know the punishment was indeed over. A giddiness filled mouse that rarely happens after a punishment. While on her knees as he returned his attention to a bit of work, he reached his hand out to touch her, and she kissed it, lovingly, submissively, as a dutiful pet and thanked him. Sincerely she says it again here, thank you Sir.
This morning feels like January 1. Or at least the beginning of a new week a really fresh start, and the silly feelings she felt last night haven't diminished at all.
12 comments:
This is what it is all about, isn't it?
Ah, resets :)
I love that "clean slate" feeling. And because you felt SO much better when it was over with, could it be those demerits were weighing on you more than you realized? And if they hadn't been taken care of, it could have exploded into something awful?
Great post. I can so relate to those emotions.
Such a great post! I am mirroring some of your emotions right now. I might not be as gracious as you after years of help from O, but I am certainly longing for it, the help and training that is. It is slow in coming and I am rather impatient to get some of the relief I hear you share. Wishing I could feel that "clean slate" feeling tonight. I am so happy for you that you are having that joy! Peace and love as you enjoy your weekend!
I had to read over the last few entries to catch up and oh how I love reading your thoughts - they always seem so raw. I love that you are such an utterly dedicated submissive, but in a way that doesn't detract from being a woman who gets angry and upset like everyone else. I have often wondered if I am the only one who can simultaneously kneel for Daddy, wake Him up how He likes etc and also let my emotions fly around the room when we have argument. Beautiful post. ava x
Mouse,
I just wanted to say that after leading a somewhat separate life with very few hints of M/s in it for a few weeks, coming here is like finding water in the desert.
Thanks for being you and writing the way you do.
Think so! Thanks ancilla
Just wish the reset button wasn't so hidden...but yes!
That is a wonderful feeling isn't it?
It's almost a shame it's so fleeting.
Thanks Ally!
Sometimes we just feel the need to skip a chapter or two....just fast forward to where it's all done and settled.
But then maybe we miss something in that.
The thoughts and feelings lately have been very raw. These are the times when blogging truly helps!
Hugs,
mouse
Awwww lil...
You seriously made mouse cry! Really hoping things settle more for you too.
<3,
mouse
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