Confession and Absolutions

St. Peter and Paul Catholic Church;
 San Francisco

As we geared up into overdrive for summer, Sir was/is incredibly busy, trying to wrap up work details and had the added issue of dealing with the blog. Not wanting to bother him mouse became completely uncertain about something. He'd completely forgotten to punish mouse for the weekly demerits. Part of her wanted, that Thursday evening, to simply assume all was well. That there hadn't been enough demerits to warrant action on his part. Still, he would tell usually inform mouse of that -- adding of course, a good deal of praise also.

There is something else, mouse has grown enjoy the feelings of clean slate on Friday and it's a lovely way to begin the weekend. As mouse went through the verbal corrections she'd received that week also, it became a bit obvious he had just forgotten. Waiting another week would just add to it all. So, just before midnight mouse went to his study and knocked softly on the closed door.

Sir was indeed very busy and impatient when mouse entered and with lots of hand-wringing tried to explain. At first he thought she wanted to go to bed and told her to go...then as she began to talk, he again grew impatient and said, "out with it."

Without much hesitation mouse blurted that she needed to be punished for the weeks infractions and demerits. Sir asked her to tell him all things she did wrong and listened as mouse prattled through the list and then when he said nothing mouse began to list things Sir couldn't have known.

It was like confessing sins -- if you're Catholic you'll understand. For some reason mouse began to list times that she didn't behave charitably or lacked grace. Like when the driver cut in front of her and then continued to drive painfully slow. Oh the words that flew out of mouse's mouth! Profanity -- and when it happened again somewhat at the market, again mouse let go with a string of profane words that would have made a sailor blush.

Sir said nothing as mouse rattled off a lengthy list of episodes of times where the mindfulness and peace she should be feeling was replaced with snark and downright aggression. Then when she finally finished she lowered her head, feeling nothing but shame. This was exactly like confession, save for the fact mouse wasn't on her knees confessing to some anonymous priest -- she was confessing to Sir.

Sir didn't say much, he mentioned that obviously mouse was keenly aware when she failed to meet an expectation. Then he considered for a moment the punishment and carried it out. The tears flowed even before the first blow. After he got a cool towel and wiped away the tears.

The next evening in bed, he asked questions about how often does mouse become angry (enraged) while driving. Lately, it has been happening more and more frequently and quickly it turned into a rant. He quelled and shushed her. He mentioned that it's really about feeling out of control.

"No, it's really about dealing with stupid people who seem to think they're the only ones on the road."

Sir chuckled and said that's fine, but it shouldn't overtake the moment. He mentioned as mouse is busy ranting about one thing, she's not really paying attention to the road. That could be a problem. The next morning he changed the music to something more soft -- melodic jazz. All that day as mouse moved through the chores and in the days that followed, the soothing music provided a balm of sorts. Maybe the music was more important than even mouse realized? No, that's impossible right?