This blog contains information that is adult in nature. If you are underage please leave at once.


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Confession and Absolutions

St. Peter and Paul Catholic Church;
 San Francisco
As we geared up into overdrive for summer, Sir was/is incredibly busy, trying to wrap up work details and had the added issue of dealing with the blog. Not wanting to bother him mouse became completely uncertain about something. He'd completely forgotten to punish mouse for the weekly demerits. Part of her wanted, that Thursday evening, to simply assume all was well. That there hadn't been enough demerits to warrant action on his part. Still, he would tell usually inform mouse of that -- adding of course, a good deal of praise also.

There is something else, mouse has grown enjoy the feelings of clean slate on Friday and it's a lovely way to begin the weekend. As mouse went through the verbal corrections she'd received that week also, it became a bit obvious he had just forgotten. Waiting another week would just add to it all. So, just before midnight mouse went to his study and knocked softly on the closed door.

Sir was indeed very busy and impatient when mouse entered and with lots of hand-wringing tried to explain. At first he thought she wanted to go to bed and told her to go...then as she began to talk, he again grew impatient and said, "out with it."

Without much hesitation mouse blurted that she needed to be punished for the weeks infractions and demerits. Sir asked her to tell him all things she did wrong and listened as mouse prattled through the list and then when he said nothing mouse began to list things Sir couldn't have known.

It was like confessing sins -- if you're Catholic you'll understand. For some reason mouse began to list times that she didn't behave charitably or lacked grace. Like when the driver cut in front of her and then continued to drive painfully slow. Oh the words that flew out of mouse's mouth! Profanity -- and when it happened again somewhat at the market, again mouse let go with a string of profane words that would have made a sailor blush.

Sir said nothing as mouse rattled off a lengthy list of episodes of times where the mindfulness and peace she should be feeling was replaced with snark and downright aggression. Then when she finally finished she lowered her head, feeling nothing but shame. This was exactly like confession, save for the fact mouse wasn't on her knees confessing to some anonymous priest -- she was confessing to Sir.

Sir didn't say much, he mentioned that obviously mouse was keenly aware when she failed to meet an expectation. Then he considered for a moment the punishment and carried it out. The tears flowed even before the first blow. After he got a cool towel and wiped away the tears.

The next evening in bed, he asked questions about how often does mouse become angry (enraged) while driving. Lately, it has been happening more and more frequently and quickly it turned into a rant. He quelled and shushed her. He mentioned that it's really about feeling out of control.

"No, it's really about dealing with stupid people who seem to think they're the only ones on the road."

Sir chuckled and said that's fine, but it shouldn't overtake the moment. He mentioned as mouse is busy ranting about one thing, she's not really paying attention to the road. That could be a problem. The next morning he changed the music to something more soft -- melodic jazz. All that day as mouse moved through the chores and in the days that followed, the soothing music provided a balm of sorts. Maybe the music was more important than even mouse realized? No, that's impossible right?  

10 comments:

  1. Hi,

    Well said mouse. I feel the same way about being punished for some mis-behavior. Our kinky way of dealing with issues works so well especially when we hug afterwards.


    Hugs,
    joey

    PS I actually visited the church in the photo once.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it is -- that feeling of knowing the debt has been paid can be cathartic and the hug after is just as important.

      Although mouse has pretty much turned her back on religion in general that church is simply gorgeous on the inside (not implying the outside isn't) -- if you've ever attended a wedding there...Oh goodness it is just lovely!

      Thanks as always for commenting!
      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. Of course it's possible! The right Music will soothe a savage beast, uh, mouse :)

    I have used the prinicple in my own life, often in reverse, playing loud aggressive rock to get myself pumped up for somethig, or fresh, poppy tunes to elevate my mood. It's hard to be depressed while singing anything by Cat Stevens, Lionel Richie, Bananarama, or Lady Gaga . Classical, baroque, and soft jazz are my calming musics.

    I could go on forever, but I won't :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you're right...just like color soothes also. Lately mouse has been listening to a lot of moody/loud/angry stuff in the car. *sigh* but now, yes feeling a bit less angry while running errands at least. Maybe it's time to shift the music on the iPod inside the house too...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. This week I confessed two things to my Master that I really, really didn't want to be punished for. I mean, I guess I would understand if he did want to, but I was hoping he'd just say "Oh, ok" and let it go. I don't know why. I suppose because they weren't actually rules I was breaking, more things that I thought he might be upset about for other reasons, minor things really. He didn't punish me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, this was a twist on the regular punishment where he tells mouse what she did wrong. But the confessing part was way harder for mouse. Honestly, he seemed to be waiting for more otherwise mouse would have just kept silent. :)

      It is nice to confess things to our Dominants.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. Love the new look :)
    Listening to music can change my mood, especially calm me. However, when I play the piano it usually augments my existing mood. Trying to play something relaxing when I'm angry doesn't work. I usually end up banging on the keys loudly! It is very cathartic though :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!!! Sir is contemplating the colors and isn't sure about the splash of pink. ;)

      For as much mouse thinks about music (practically every post has a song lyric in the title), you'd think the connection between music and mood would be more evident. Yet, really it's something that mouse hadn't really thought about much. Or maybe it's just subconscious reflection of the over-all mood.

      Thanks!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. oh my , were you driving on the same road as I was today? My alternate post was about the drive...

    Sigh. It IS nice to confess sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh fury...how much mouse loves you right now! Teeny bit of validation does wonders for the soul.

      And yes...confessing something can be good.

      <3 and hugs,
      mouse

      Delete

All comments are moderated.