Nothing is ever set in stone, recently a new reader has been reading mouse's blog from the beginning. Leaving comments along the way and let's be clear, it's wonderful they're taking the time. Since mouse doesn't see the whole post, she has to go back and read what's there. There are times that mouse reads the first words and is transported back in time to the moment.
One thing that's completely clear, is that where Daddy and mouse are today is world away from where we began. We no longer have the fun basement space, and honestly mouse doesn't regret in anyway losing that. While sometimes she does miss the hard way we used to play, the memories it evoked probably weren't good for mouse. Daddy had his own issues with hard play although he loved seeing his inner sadist run amuck, he also realized that he couldn't quite control the sadistic urges. He ended it before things went too far for us -- before we ventured down a path neither of us could return from easily.
Yes, in many ways the end of that part did disappoint mouse but she trusted and still trusts that he understood a good deal more about the inner workings of his mind than mouse could ever fully grasp. He is very big on accepting responsibility for his own limits. The big shift happened between us, when mouse realized she was far more comfortable referring to him as Daddy. When he allowed himself to be gentler and softer with mouse -- because it was best for her and he discovered he enjoyed it. It didn't change who he is and we grew more together, better connected.
It's been a trade off maybe, the harder play has fallen away, but replaced with more ingenious play that still makes mouse squirm as much as the other stuff did.
7 comments:
Is there one of the old posts that is representative of that time?
Hi mouse, it is great that your Daddy loves you so much that he is careful with you, instead of giving in to urges he is maybe not able to control the way he wants to. I can only agree with you, this shows how much he feels responsible for you, and I’d add that you are definitely special for him!
hugs
Nina
There are many older posts that reflect that time. The harder play and issues mouse had were always a bit evident, even though she tried to put a positive spin on things. Eventually Daddy stopped the hard, intense edge play and wrote a post about it. To explain to the readers (and to mouse) why it ended.
Guess the point is we are far better today than we really were back then and miles in our journey from where we began.
Thanks Ni Na and you're right. He feels deeply responsible for mouse's mental and physical health, he doesn't want to do anything to knowingly trigger angst. There are enough times he's accidentally triggered those feelings.
Thanks for your comment.
All relationships evolve, the important part is love flows in the same direction as change and not against it.
hugs
DF
It is so lovely to read that mouse has a very wise Daddy. I haven't read all of your back posts but what I have read makes be really admire the both of you and how you have grown in your relationship.
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
thank you mouse, I needed to hear that today. I tend to over think the past too much, and it clouds the present, and is ruining the chances for s wonderful future.
thank you for the reminder.
hugs,
mg
xo
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