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Friday, January 23, 2015

Come Rain or Come Shine

Good morning Friends, it's been very chilly the past few days here.  We were treated to some snow flurries that danced around the breeze on Wednesday night.  It's been a rather green winter here, not that mouse is complaining at all about that.  Daddy continues catching up from the days he was out ill, and mouse has more or less been left to own devices in the evening time.  

Snuggled down with a throw blanket, mouse decided to watch a movie.  Not going to mention which movie it was, because they're all kinda the same.  Someone always lights a hundred or so candles to woo the other person.  As mouse watched it occurred to her we don't have that many candles, and mouse certainly is a big fan of candlelight, but how long would it take to light that many candles?  

Probably too long, but mouse did light a few of her pillar candles and then settled back to enjoy the rest of the movie.  Daddy came through, saying it was time for bed and began to blow out the candles, and treated it all like it was perfectly normal.  Romance is certainly lost on that man.  

Yet, mouse made absolutely no effort to light the candles in our bedroom either.   As pretty as our bedroom looks with the candles all lit, mouse knows they'll be used against her.  So instead she kneeled beside the bed, as though a child contemplating prayer, and begged permission to enter it. This business of asking permission to enter the bed is a bit surprising to her.  Honestly, mouse never thought it would go on for as long as it has and maybe more strange is that mouse actually likes the idea of asking Daddy permission.  

Sometimes he'll go to bed earlier than mouse (it's pretty rare), like when he was ill or must get up early for traveling, and he'll just offer 'blanket' permission by saying, 'Don't stay up too late but just come to bed when you're ready.' There have been times when mouse has gotten involved in something be it a book or movie, and just lost track of time.  He'll be in bed pretending or really asleep and mouse will be at a loss.  Those times probably really define if the rule is important or not, and for some reason to mouse it is because she will often kneel or sit beside the bed and rest her head on it until Daddy notices.  

Now mouse has never asked if the unspoken rule is actually a hard and fast rule that must always be followed.  It was something he mentioned once a few months ago, but never stated exactly how important it was to him (or even if at the time it was important that it be followed each and every time).  Still those times that she hasn't asked for permission and spent many hours beside the bed, he's always clucked about how proud he was and what a good girl mouse was.  It's probably good she's never asked him about all that -- really she doesn't want to know. It might spoil something in her head.

In truth, it could very well be that there would be no reprimand at all from him if she did enter the bed without asking.  Yet the fact that she is willing to sleep on the cold floor, and rest her head on the bed because she hasn't received his blessing, counts for something else.  This, it has occurred to mouse is the essence of submission.  Doing something not because you are afraid of a consequence but because you truly want to do it.  This has become something that mouse truly wishes to do and willing sit on the floor only reminds her that she's given herself to him.  

4 comments:

greengirl said...

This is all so similar to our routine - it goes beyond being a rule - it just is how it is. As long as this has been the way or it - i still get so many surprising feelings about it. But it always ends up being a good and often needed re-centering at the end of the day.

ancilla_ksst said...

Our night ritual is slightly different, but I get all the same feelings about it. It is one of the best things.

mouse said...

Yes, this exactly. Not sure how it began, or how important it actually is...but there's something nice about it...There's something that mouse likes about ending the day in that way.

It's very surprising and it's entirely possible that it is more important to mouse than it is to him...

Who knows?

mouse said...

Yep whatever you do -- it's like a signal to an end of the day.