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Monday, January 26, 2015

Bring Back that Loving (submissive) Feeling

 

Good morning friends, our weather is much the same as last week. It's like an endless loop of winter weather that can't quite decide which direction it's going. In an odd way the weather and inability to decide. is echoing what mouse feels at the moment.

There are times when mouse feels extremely submissive, and it probably shows in her writing. Lately those feelings have been a struggle to mouse. It's not as though she's not submitting to Daddy's wishes, or even failing as his slave -- or in the realm of household duties. It's more that she doesn't feel submissive. It's like there is a struggle to get herself into that mindset of feeling submissive.

When mouse feels submissive, slavery to Daddy is easy and even now, feeling as mouse does, it's not hard or difficult, but there is an odd internal struggle going on when she sits to write. We enjoyed a lovely weekend with plenty of opportunities to serve and service Daddy. Yet it felt, like just another day, there was no resentment about what she was doing, it was rote. Sometimes when the submissive feelings prove elusive, mouse will become a bit cranky. Stand toe to toe and do something to utterly piss Daddy off. Upon reflection, maybe it's to elicit a response from him, to somewhat force his hand to take responsibility for what goes on in mouse's head? This isn't what mouse is feeling. If anything there's a numbness to it all -- or maybe just apathetic.

Whatever it is, it's becoming quite annoying to mouse. Yes, she realizes its not a huge issue, it's not affecting her life or most important her service to Daddy or our family. It's just unnerving to feel so disconnected. It begs to ask if anyone else has felt like this? Did it just resolve itself on its own?

9 comments:

  1. yes, it seems to be something that sometimes comes up at the midpoint of my cycle. It does normal pass, my usual self care things help - eating and drinking well, taking vitamins, sleeping well.

    Also a good beating works wonders but that could be just me!

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    Replies
    1. Honestly mouse has been doing all that....dunno. It's weird and really hard to explain.

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  2. I agree, a good beating works for me, then kneel time at his feet. As much as I hate to admit it. There's been times I go to Him with His belt instead of pushing Him. He understands. The plug helps too. As much as I hate to admit also
    Good luck

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    Replies
    1. The plug might be helpful...mouse isn't allowed to touch toys and lately Daddy hasn't extended permission to use it...

      Hmmm. Interesting.

      Delete
  3. For me these feelings (or inability to have them) led to an emotional breakdown. This time of year is always really difficult, and I find it hard to concentrate much. It annoyed me for months and I just thought maybe I was hormonal. But it then all accumulated and exploded into something entirely unpredictable.
    But I think that's possibly different than what you are experiencing, mouse?
    If it is your body is maybe telling you something, hormones or unresolved stress? Or none of the above.

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    1. Honestly, no, while mouse is no stranger to emotional angst usually it deeply affected her submission in just about every way you could imagine.

      This is more like "meh, sure..." and doing what she's supposed to do.

      Delete
  4. I have the opposite problem at the moment.....is there such a thing as feeling too submissive? All I want to do is kneel at Sir's feet, but as He doesn't live with us, that isn't possible, and when He is here, children & life get in the way and these things are not always possible. As a result, I feel very, erm, not entirely sure of the word *scowls*
    My mind is overwhelmed with this need, and I am exhausted, my mind never rests, wishing for the calm and serenity being physically with Him in that way would bring.
    *SIGH*

    xx

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    Replies
    1. sub or slave frenzy maybe? we've been together 20 years now but I still feel this on occasion

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    2. Yes, to both of you. Subfrenzy can heighten those feelings. That ultra submissive feeling that is deeper than what is usually felt.

      Yeah, those feelings happen with mouse -- that's probably why the "meh" feelings have her perplexed and preoccupied. Usually she feels more balanced in between those two feelings...

      if that makes any sense at all.

      Delete

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