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Monday, December 21, 2020

A Time For Peace

 


Yes, we did ponder to not bother with a year-end wrap-up, but an extraordinary year requires at least a few words of reflection.

What a wild ride 2020 has been, something akin to Mr Toad's Wild Ride in Disneyland, which has also been closed since what, March? At some point, we were all smacked by a train and felt like sentenced to hell. Well, that's how the ride goes. It is well and good that we should pause a little and maybe contemplate the good and bad the year has brought. We're safe at home and reflecting on all the changes that we've all be forced to endure. It hasn't been easy and for many it's been downright impossible. There's a bit of privilege that we have to acknowledge that allows us some of the comforts of home staying. Master can work from home, the children can learn from home, while we can't exclusively order groceries to be delivered we have the money to pay for them, unlike so many this season. So many are struggling under the yoke of this pandemic and for many in this country its a truly losing battle. Many trying and struggling to do the right thing only to have those opportunities slammed shut. 

We have witnessed people claiming this pandemic and illness it causes isn't a big deal, but when does anyone ever recall seeing refrigerator trucks being brought to hospital parking lots to house the dead until they can be buried? We volley back and forth between trying to do what's right, chaffing under the restorations and hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Quite naturally, in the middle of this writing the laptop being used decided it needed recharging, so mouse paused writing and hoped she'd be able to mentally pick up the threads of what she wanted to express. It was then it occurred to her the short pause was a benefit, since it gave offered a bit of time to collect the thoughts. This year has been odd for us all, as mentioned Mr Toad's Wild Ride (for those unfamiliar with the ride, here's a link). 

There have been moments, we played games with family miles from us via the internet, we cooked over Zoom, even shipped food overnight, with a video watch party invite. In some ways, almost oddly, we're more connected to family and friends because Master suggested we're putting in more effort into creative get together ideas. Ways we can be together, without physically being together. in that respect the pandemic has caused us to slow down and reevaluate what is truly important in our lives. The things we do miss, like movie theaters or taking our children to see the Nut Cracker Ballet, restaurants, walking around downtown and popping into a restaurant, Or the chaos of a busy morning, running behind and having to get the kids off to school. 

One thought that is somewhat perplexing, are we addicted to being busy? If anything this time has shown us that we probably are. We've also learned, oddly, that all that running around we used to do we spent a lot more money than we are now. While we did eat most meals at home, there were plenty of meals or even breakfasts out with the family, add to that cost, movie tickets and we'd drop a couple hundred bucks on a day of fun easily. If Master decides to take mouse out later that evening, or we host a fancy dinner at our home, and the price goes up. There's a rhythm of chaos, excitement, birthdays and other social gatherings that have all just stopped because of the virus. We've been forced, like many, to reevaluate what's truly important to us. 

This year has also brought to the surface and forced us bear witness to civil unrest, a real tempest brewing, as opposed to the fake outrage one finds frequently on social media, where privileged individuals complain endlessly about minutia when there are real problems others are facing, like discrimination and abject racism. Even Master has noticed an increase in the lack of tolerance and that disturbs Him. George Floyd, Breonna Taylor forced many to deal with inequalities, and we've also seen the swastikas spray-painted on Jewish cemeteries. Shouldn't we be beyond this? While we were satisfied with the election result in our country this past November, many were not. We have decided that we can't worry about that. We have to worry more locally, what our state representatives and county people are doing, to be better informed at our local level. To do better all around and help bring about positive change (at least we hope). 

Many people filled their time with home improvements, we weren't that ambitious, but did manage to do a few things around here. Birthdays were delivered by Amazon, and while it bothers us, there wasn't a lot we could do and in the drone of each day running into the next, Master forgot mouse's birthday all together. Yes, He made up for that. Just another sign that 2020 isn't a normal year. It's true many times we just wished we could fast forward through this, the worry would settle, what if we fast forwarded too far and discovered we're not here. That's a morose thought, isn't it? Going a bit beyond the middle age years makes you think that way. 

Looking ahead there is some light in the tunnel of darkness, a vaccine, which we are all grateful for, as that can certainly help end this madness or at least diminish much of fear surrounding it. 

It does lead us to an equally interesting question. What do we want 2021 to look like? 

Will we continue to stay home more or slowly let this odd time slip into the past and resume our old ways of doing everything? 

What lessons did we learn from this and do we want to carry those lessons into our future? 

As mouse looks out the large picture window and sees the cherry holiday lights on our neighbor's homes juxtaposed with the lifeless landscape, we can't help but to pause, reflect and perhaps, just let it all go. 

Master who is all about keywords, after discussion said we might choose three or four words to reflect what we want most for 2020, as something to focus on. Randomly we opened a dictionary and pointed to words on whatever page, it took several tries to get words that were appropriate (the word, Word was dismissed and others like that) The final words were: Purpose, Hope, Service, Connection. 

Maybe, going forward we'll incorporate those words into thoughtful posts in 2021. 

Monday, December 7, 2020

Happy Changes At Last!


Not sure the real title of this post, for now, we'll just call it sniping because that's what we're doing. Things got so bad, Master felt the need to punish the slave. Corner time in our room. It was difficult. It was also humbling. The larger point is that we're all under tremendous stress right now, as the pandemic rages on. Master is frustrated because He can't work (in a meaningful way at least), and mouse is frustrated from everyone being home and we're just climbing over each other lately. The punishment wasn't really a big deal but more a reminder that the slave was again failing in her purpose to serve. 

We put most of our family efforts into decorating the home for the holidays, now this is something that brings a lot of joy to the slave, but this time it just feels different. The house felt cluttered, boxes still not put away, things feeling out of place. Maybe it's us that feel out of place? It's been a long haul since mid-March when everything changed and yet things aren't that different. There's still no toilet paper on the shelves here in our corner of the globe. Paper towels are even more scarce, but we've been weaning ourselves off those (it's been a slow process that involves lots more laundry). 

While mouse still shops weekly at the supermarket (every other week is a far larger haul), trying to plan out baking and mailing gifts is the new challenge. That's all the normal stuff that everyone is probably going through to some degree or another -- and many more probably have it so much worse. On a more personal Master and slave level, we're languishing. Maybe that's not the right word, but there hasn't been a whole lot of trips to kinky town. We were just finding our footing when the pandemic hit earlier this year, the depression that had gripped the slave was finally diminishing into memory. We were optimistic about the year ahead. Still there hasn't been much sexy fun for us. Sure, mouse still wakes Him with her mouth, warms His towel, serves Him coffee, cooks Him breakfast. Noontime, mouse serves Him lunch in His study, sometimes He will bend her over His desk, making quick use of her holes and then returns to His day. 

Nighttime, after brushing her teeth and begging permission to enter the bed, He again pulls her close, and we take our time. He's more careful now to balance things. He has kept His word to express in a verbal way His feelings. In that regard things are great, but there's no screaming going on.  You know, sex screaming. No orgasms being ripped from her body, in fact precious few orgasms (which she understands she's got no right to anyway). Punishments are few and far between, which is probably a good thing, and speaks to her good behavior. Everything feels routine, rote, awful dull these days. 

Yes, Master did completely forget mouse's birthday, which honestly she didn't give a lot of thought herself until He went to bed and still had said nothing. 

But, she mused later, it is the perfect description of how our life is. Each day seemingly blending into the next, even weekends now hold little value to us. 

It led to a discussion between us one evening that stretched out to dawn. It began very light, but then slowly shifted to more serious, as the discussion morphed, Master took over and mouse listened to everything He said. He was feeling much the same way (a huge relief) and had a strong desire to forge a newer path. Master succinctly laid out His thoughts. While we can't control completely the others living in our home, He can take more control over His slave. He rifled through the closet and pulled out her skirt, and blouse and informed her she was back to wearing this with an apron, unless she had to venture to the market for groceries (then different clothing was allowed but He would pick it). No shoes inside the kitchen unless she was cold and then she could ask permission but she could consider first if being uncomfortable wasn't just part of her lot. 

Now, all this talk had an effect on mouse and she has to admit that it made her insides bubble and her clit pulsed as He spoke to the point where she felt distracted by it and struggled to maintain her focus on Master and His words. He noticed her odd disquiet, and paused the conversation. In that Master tone of His told her that she had 5 minutes to masturbate to better improve her focus on Him. The humiliation of that moment as she parted her legs and rubbed her clit which was flaming hot, stroking it, moving her fingers round and round, tapping it, rubbing harder until her body just writhed and released. 

"You took 6 minutes 42 seconds, slave." He said in a tisk-tisk tone. "How many seconds is that slave?" 

Now she just stared at Him, how could she math right now? He supplied the answer, 102 seconds and pulled her over His knee. New humiliation gripped her as He smacked her backside with His hand, and told her to count. Ever-so-often Master would pause, rub her between her legs, probing her inside parts with His fingers before continuing and mouse struggled to keep count (which she lost twice adding 10 more spanks each time to her total). With her head spinning He pulled her close to Him and held her for a long time as tears rolled down her cheeks. 

"Be a good slave and brush your teeth, ready for bed." 

When she returned in the nightgown He laid out He clucked that she was a sweet girl and watched as she knelt beside the bed to beg entrance. He lifted the nightgown and slid His full length into her ass and made her groan. He whispered into her ear to finger her clit and cunt while He ravaged her ass. Oh gosh when was the last time we did anything close to that?  Honestly mouse can't even remember except He made her watch her reflection in the large stand up mirror in the corner of the bedroom. He gripped her breasts until they turned deep red, as her body quivered. The orgasm was huge. His cock pumped its seed deep into her asshole and mouse squirted. 

This wasn't an one-off thing either. It's good to feel back to basics. 

 

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Handle with Care

Been beat up and battered around
Been sent up, and I've been shot down
You're the best thing that I've ever found
Handle me with care -- The Traveling Wilburys

Time moves quickly as we age. Children often feel that time never moves, like mouse watching a clock on a Friday afternoon waiting for Master to come home. Each minute stretches out. You look at the clock, and it reads 5 minutes to 3pm and you wait and look again, certain at least 15 minutes have passed only to discover barely another minute has ticked by. Master has been back at the office, limited capacity but still for the most part working from home. Yet, each morning He wakes, exercises, showers, shaves, and dresses as though He's headed into the office. 

When asked, He explained He felt more inclined to work when dressed for business. 

It makes a lot of sense. Although, His slave who hasn't bothered with much of daily routines of putting on makeup, styling her hair, but has been dressed acceptably most of time. More often than not now, her uniform is jeans, a nice tee shirt, and the ever-present apron. Makeup and masks don't mix well which is the large part of the reason for this alteration. 

It has been such a struggle for everyone. This new normal we cannot really escape. We can only hope to look back on it and smile recalling the time we all stayed home for a year? What lessons have we learned from this experience? 

Our family communication is higher than ever. We spend far more time together watching movies, playing games, doing puzzles, of course, cooking, cleaning and all those things that go along with keeping a functioning home. Master and slave feel more connected than ever, and surprisingly, the slave feels grounded. That's despite the shuffling of the cleaning schedule, which used to be handled rather like clockwork now is far more flexible. For example, mouse cannot run the vacuum as often as she feels is needed for our home or even on a specific day or time, because our lives aren't centered that way. Children need a space to focus on studies and Master is working many days from His home. Extra noise is forbidden now, for good reason. 

Over the past several days, we dropped drown the "Big Little Lies" rabbit hole. If you're unaware, it's a miniseries that ran on HBO and was based on a novel of the same name, as it became incredibly popular they added a second series with the blessing of the book's author. It is one of those "women led" casts but the story is actually very good. That's really all we care about -- the story. 

It does deal with the heady topic of domestic violence, which was particularly triggering to the slave. 

It wasn't until last year, while recovering from surgery, that mouse began realizing how much damage the distant past had caused her. Nicely treading water until she just couldn't any longer. So much of the lines spoken by the character resonated with mouse and could be applied to childhood and early adulthood. Of course she didn't realize this was happening at the time, all the bad, awful and terrible things began to surface and left mouse feeling very broken and Master helpless, compounded with other issues sent her spiraling into a tailspin. Being trapped in survival mode, and not focused on anything else, isn't the same as dealing with the past trauma and extreme PTSD, the slave scarcely recognized were there. 

Intense therapy, medications and life changes followed, which helped mouse find peace with the past and even that continues to be a work in progress. There's far more gratefulness with the beginning of each day. grateful especially to Master for being a kind, patient guide. He lavishes praise on His slave that's embarrassing at times for her because she doesn't feel that much progress has been made, yet at the same time, she does see it. One thing is for certain, Master always and without fail, has her back. 

The mini series did help mouse put into words some of the things she'd had difficulty to express to Master. He listened and as always validated her feelings and encouraged her to speak with her therapist about it. Surprisingly she did just that. The game plan for now is for mouse to engage in more meditation to quiet the thoughts and focus on positive mantras or daily thoughts to help her along the way. 

“It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.” 
― George Harrison

Sunday, August 23, 2020

What a Week

It's been over a week since Master's punishment of mouse was implemented. It ended rather unceremoniously the following Thursday when again the topic was revisited. The attitude was much improved, according to Him and He was pleased overall with the change. This was perplexing for His slave since she didn't see a huge shift in her behavior. It mostly circled around letting Him handle family disagreements. Instead of losing her temper, she simply quietly explained that whatever wasn't allowed, and if there was a problem they could speak with Him. 





It worked. Instead of getting caught up in a circular argument. It just stopped and then by mirroring the behaviors that we want them to emulate things calmed down. Meanwhile, it was like being in a cave for mouse. Master still not allowing her in the bed, sometimes making her write lines well into the evening on the floor by candlelight, using her for His own pleasure. Inserting the large plug when it pleased Him most, watching her suffer through the enema and struggle to bird bath bathe in the empty tub. Yet, doting and doing things for Him, drying Him off after a shower, drinking His piss when He directed it.  

In the evening it was much like being in a cave mentally for mouse, alone, feeling adrift yet, tethered securely to Him. There was something unsettling about it all. Did He hate His slave? Was He so angry with her or merely disappointed that now He decided she wasn't worth further effort? 

Yet, He showed no anger, and offered praise even, like when mouse went to the grocery store and came home with lots of healthy foods (as well as some well loved snacks for the kids). He was pleased that there was now a posted weekly menu for dinnertime. The kids now almost as rote would appear and begin setting the table, which of course mouse would check to make sure it was being done correctly (as the week went on they got better). 

Still that unsettled feeling really rankled mouse. He spoke later that understood but it was ultimately part of the lesson He wished her to learn, His authority is really absolute and her position isn't just a given thing. It's earned and given freely by Him and as He demonstrated, He can take it back whenever He wished to. It was like being led into the sunlight again. He was the sun and mouse merely an object caught in His orbit. There was something comforting in that. Those continued to swim through mouse's mind. 

That feeling of containment. 

Being His thing. 

Still there are plenty of times where He's telling terrible Dad jokes, He's cuddling mouse, He's always kind and generous and obviously she loves when He's a bit more Daddy than Master. The fly in the ointment is that we go too long with "Daddy" the Master must appear to reassert His control, because honestly mouse becomes too used to Him forgiving her and begins, probably like most people, to take that for granted. It's not to suggest He has never taken mouse for granted -- He has and admitted it in His own postings here. 

However, anytime it's brought up one truth is inescapable, His slave functions far better when He is a little cold and distant. It's like there's a clear line where mouse knows "do not cross" or "keep off the grass." It makes her feel safe and that strong lull of containment. 

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Being Held Accountable

Master hasn't been thrilled with His slave lately. Things today are different, everyone is home most of the time, the quiet moments are few and far between and mouse began feeling overwhelmed. Instead of using her voice, asking Him for help, or just explaining her frustrations, mouse became mouthy, snappish and very quick to downright anger. This was concerning to Master, who first made sure mouse wasn't hiding illness again from Him, because she was nearly that bad. He didn't really think that was the problem since He noticed it building slowly over a period of time. It seemed unfair to Him to punish because of the pandemic, since He felt the added stresses, but He also couldn't take it any longer, we all are fairly used to this new version of normal. This also wasn't an all the time thing obviously. 

This wasn't about keeping house, or anything except attitude. Master told mouse, after the house was quiet on Thursday evening to go to the bedroom, undress, kneel and wait for Him. That certainly brought a shiver that went straight up her spine. Quickly, mouse removed her make-up, brushed her teeth, undressed completely, lit a candle in the corner, turned off the bathroom light and knelt down at the foot of the bed and waited. 

How we see ourselves is often far harsher than how others might see us, but this was not one of those times. Honestly as mouse did that mental accounting, it still mystified her a little as to why this was happening now. As she waited, rolling over in her mind her recent behavior and how shameful it was. That was truly the main feeling she had. Shame. Nude, exposed and impure. This was punishment and not fun. Waiting wasn't easy as she mentally ranked the offenses. In days passed the whipping would be harsh but now things are different. Wistfully she mused if this would be it. Contemplatively kneeling, reflecting on the wrongs and then discussion about what could be done better or how to handle the triggers more effectively. The next thought chilled her, would this be enough? Sure knowing you've disappointed your Master should be enough but it rarely is for some reason. 

This was taking forever as tears began to roll down her cheeks and now aware that her legs weren't happy in this position, as she began to shift her weight, desperate to find that center of gravity. Finally Master's presence was the distraction she needed, as she heard Him enter, felt the air as He walked across the room, and sat on the chair by His side of the bed. If He were interested in having a view of His slave, where He was seated wasn't the spot. Then at last Master began to speak, and hearing His side of things was worse. What He described was more akin to being a "fishwife" than a slave. Maybe it was good He couldn't see mouse since her tears might have seemed trite regardless of how sincere they felt to her? Now worry filled her. The kneeling discomfort vanished and He called mouse to Him. Not sure if watching her crawl was pleasing or not, but standing was out of the question. 

He moved the chair and offered a hand to help her stand. He positioned her in the corner, nose to the wall, and told her to not move. He was getting ready for bed and left mouse to contemplate. Knowing what would come next, He would likely ask her what she could do differently to self correct and it had better be convincing. Maybe convincing isn't the right word, she's not trying to trick Him. Master wants to know that she's taking this all very seriously. For a brief moment as mouse stood there, nose to the corner and hands behind her back, wondered if the lash would be easier? A good thrashing and the problem would be solved. 

Or would it? 

Here we go again trying to dictate her slavery to Him on her own terms, when it's not about her at all and only Him. The only thing Master wanted was a slave that didn't back talk to anyone. He also understood why it sometimes happened, but He also reminded mouse that we're supposed to be modeling good behavior. He really shouldn't need to remind her of anything, especially at this point. If it were possible deeper remorse was settling in, as Master reentered the room and told mouse to bend over the side of the bed. Feeling His fingers probe her asshole, then feeling the fullness of the plug being inserted. Then she felt Him enter her, which really hurt because He's large and the plug was large too. Any excitement she might have felt was rapidly diminishing as pain began to overtake. His large hands now grabbed and clawed at her nipples and breasts. This was ONLY for His pleasure. When He finished He simply pushed off her, pulled her from the bed, threw her pillow onto the floor and informed her that she wasn't welcome in the bed until she was better behaved. 

For now, she was nothing important to Him and only a slave, undeserving of any courtesy. The following morning an since, she has bathed in the tub with cool water (not a huge hardship since it's been so warm) and washing her hair in the tub as well. No showers with Master. And must wait in the tub until her body dries before dressing. This is after He showers and she dries Him off with a towel. During the day she is to keep a civil tongue in her head and He's definitely paying attention. Since He's working from home most days, He doesn't allow the others living in the house to take advantage. Let's face it, sharks can smell blood in the water, and so can kids. He's not letting them to take unfair advantage. 

It was sometime over the weekend that it suddenly occurred to mouse that this is what He wants. He's the authority. Such a simple thing. He did allow a few blankets on the floor for mouse to lay on at night providing a scant amount of cushion.  Everything else has been, so far, going along fine. 

Since this is ongoing, there might be a followup to this post at some point. Or maybe it really is just what it is. 

Monday, June 22, 2020

Housewife Chronicles

This post was originally published over at mouse droppings, but after brief reflection felt it was also perfectly suited here. Lately, there has been a struggle to post here, with most of her thoughts revolving around cleaning, cooking and service to Master, it makes for a rather dull blog. It seems mouse has come to an odd crossroads. For those unaware, mouse droppings (cleverly named by Master) is a companion blog, for other more service related posts that with an occasional mention of sex, but remain fairly vanilla in thoughts. 

Staring at the cursor, you ponder where do you begin this recent tale of exhaustion? You, like most days, have spent the day cleaning, cooking and re-cleaning afterward. It's 11pm, the dishwasher is emptied, the kitchen countertops cleaned, sink scrubbed. Everything is ready for the bustling morning that will follow. You're beyond tired, yesterday was a special day that required more than the usual number of hours cooking, multiple pots and pans that required attention, and even a dessert was lovingly prepared by your own hands. Additionally, you also spent the day doting on your Husband, Father of your children, making extra certain He wanted for nothing. It had been a lovely day and the exhaustion you feel is a good thing because it's the kind that comes from being happy in service. Ironically, someone in your home mentioned that it was also the "longest day of the year," and all you can think is 'no kidding.' For you, really, every day seems long, stretching out each of the minutes, until it seems all is completed.

Carefully, you make your way to bedroom, creeping inside. Your Husband is already sleeping, He has a big day tomorrow and the last thing you want is to disturb His slumber. You carefully shut the door behind you and creep your way into the bathroom and close that door as well before switching on the light. You undress, placing the clothing into the proper spot, your things are kept, before washing your face, brushing your teeth. Last stop before sleep is a quick trip to potty. You sit, reach for the toilet paper and instantly realize you are at the end of the roll. You do that awkward reach around to check for the extra roll that lives on the toilet tank, but there's nothing there. You close your eyes silently hoping what meager amount in your hand is enough. You just make it. 

Now, your next problem emerges as you reach for the soap to wash your hands. You need more toilet paper. You can't just leave it, because it's highly likely that you'll be the one to wake and need to pee, or worse that you'll sleep peacefully through the night and your Master will get up early...You know which would be worse by instinct and history. 

You turn the light off in the bathroom, quietly open that door that squeaks annoyingly, and then realize as you reach the bedroom door you're nude. Now, you ponder, is anyone else awake? Will anyone else see your naked form as you walk down the hall. You listen and decide the coast is clear, because in the dark closet without having to close the squeaky door, and turn on a light, you'd never find your bathrobe and it's just a quick run to the linen closet where the extra rolls are stowed. 

You briskly walk to the closet, in the darkness reach your hand up to where the rolls are located, or supposed to be located and find ONE roll. Now leaves you feeling disgruntled since you just refilled it a few days ago and it's already nearly empty.  What are these people doing with it? You don't need wrap it around your hand like a catcher's mitt? That, obviously, would be news to them. You make a mental note to again refill that shelf, and simultaneously, feel blessed there was that single roll still present. Quietly you return to the bedroom, close the bedroom and enter reenter the bathroom. 

The next problem presents itself in a natural way. How to replace the roll in complete darkness. Yes, your eyes have somewhat adjusted to the dark, switching on the light is unthinkable (squeaky door problems). The toilet paper holder isn't a "modern one" you just slide off the old roll and replace, it's a tricky one that is held between two holders, with the roll holder rod, telescoping between the two sides. Finding the hole, getting the roll on is often tricky during the day as more than once you've launched the metal roll holder across the bathroom, always it seems against the tile. Carefully, you feel for the ends, the holes where the holder seats properly, repeatedly testing by tugging. This is too much effort for so late at night, but you emerge victorious. You did not launch it across the bathroom. 

If you felt exhausted before, if you felt the strong pull of bed, where it's warm and you can at last lay down and sleep...That extra five or so minutes felt painfully long to you. Bed was right there before you went to the bathroom, and now it's closer than before. Still more is always asked of you. Carefully, in a prayerful manner, you kneel beside the bed. If your Master were awake, you'd wait for His invitation to enter it, either by His word or deed. You know that won't happen tonight, so there is no shortcut but to wait the predetermined time. Now that time feels arbitrary, and wrong. The minutes tick, as you consider options. He would never know if you just climbed into bed, would He? Master is sound asleep, His breaths are slow, long and even. What would the harm be to just abandon the pre-bed ritual? He would never be the wiser, after all, you've worked your butt off today, more so than usual and all to make His day a special one. His evening meal, extra grand. You did your duty, filled and refilled His drink, offered Him snacks, sucked His cock when the mood struck Him...

How would He know if you didn't wait the 20 minutes before climbing into bed at the end of a completely exhausting day? Why wait 20 minutes anyway? Why such an arbitrary number? You recall the day He let you know about His expectations for your behavior, when you asked specifically if He didn't answer how long should she wait before assuming permission was granted and He said, rather unthoughtfully, "twenty minutes slave." The idea being that would certainly give Him enough time to raise any objections, should He have any.  Ruefully, your next thought is that should only apply electronic communications, yet you can recall many instances where, at home, you also painfully waited.

Your burden to wait is at His pleasure. You are owned property, not a free person with autonomy to just decide for yourself what you should or should not be allowed. Only He has that freedom to choose, and you gave up that last bit of your freedom to Him to decide such things for you. At least you managed to resolve this on your own, taking comfort in your pause, your persistent evaluation of your surrender, and the twenty minutes has passed. You climb between the sheets at long last, feeling the muscles stretch comfortably and relax. You whisper, "Thank you Master" as you drift off to an uncomplicated sleep, finding comfort in the one fact that tomorrow you'll gladly do it all again. 

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Music is a Balm for a Weary Soul

We found a radio! Yes, a real radio complete with antenna. It does play CDs and even has a now ancient iPod doc that mouse found, on accident, while giving it a thorough cleaning, before finding it a spot of honor in our kitchen.

We found it in a box of things we'd brought down a summer or two ago, but never opened. Master's neat writing on the top of the box, indicated a few highlighted items inside. "Vases, kitchen knick knacks, radio, and small water pitcher" the top of the box read. We had forgotten about the box completely. The vases were extra ones mouse had packed up, if we hadn't used them at the lake she had resolved to just donate those to charity. The small pitcher was a nice find, because we'd been looking for it. Or rather mouse has, because it's the perfect size for the fridge when she gets too many oranges and decides to make fresh squeezed juice.

The music filled the house, eventually. We gave up trying to find a radio station worth listening to, and dragged out CDs, digging through the vehicles even to find more. It's not a lot but during those times when the news of the day becomes too heavy, it's nice to just unplug and listen to something soothing that doesn't impact or tied to our wonky internet connection.

Two old but both good cookbooks (that mouse had assumed had just gone missing) were found also in the box, so mouse has done a deep dive into those.

Master had the news on a few days ago, it's a local station but the violence erupting across the country, made mouse feel very edgy. Instead of switching off the TV, He pulled mouse close to Him and suggested that a cake might be nice for dessert. That action alone occupied mouse nicely and the end result wasn't terrible.

Feeling Enslaved Takes a lot of Worry Away

The endorphin rush she often gets when treated like an object or asked to behave as such (when Master required mouse to serve the family meal recently), plugged and unable to argue, greatly lessens the stresses she might normally have. Trusting Master to guide, protect and assist when needed helps foster those emotional ease she's been feeling of late. Keeping her mind away from matters she needn't obsess over, and keeping the focus on more important things. Things have certainly come together nicely on the past few weeks.

Master has said that during the summer months, as probably tourists and part-time residents return, there is likely to be an increase in virus cases. While we hope that doesn't happen Master said it's best to be pragmatic about this. We will continue to mostly keep to ourselves, as we've done since arriving here. For the foreseeable future, we are staying put.

A busy woman is contented? Not sure but mouse is certainly keeping occupied lately. The cooking alone is rather endless and now that the cleaning bug has bit her, well she's delving into all the dark corners. And she's never been more happy. The world keeps turning, and while it seems that everything is unsettled and terrifying, our home is orderly and there's a hot meal on the table. It can't be all bad, right?