Holiday weekend

Omega didn't have the heart to leave my dog at our neighbor's house as planned, so we ended up stopping at a pet place to buy a doggie lifejacket. Which the dog wore the whole weekend.
The boat Omega described to me as not being much of anything was HUGE! I have no idea how long it was and honestly afraid to ask. 40 foot was the number I heard. He brought us on board, showed us the kitchen, while his brother and he played rochambeau (what normal people call rock, paper, scissors) for the larger cabin. Omega lost.


He said the water would be choppy until we cleared the rocks at the edge of the bay, and after that I could take my vest off. I noticed none of the others wore theirs. The dog's he insisted would stay on for the duration of the trip or if until we made landfall.


Once the sleeping arrangement were decided I set to work to be useful putting things away and antiquating myself with the kitchen (galley). It was small but had a small fridge, a microwave, coffee maker, and even an icemaker. There was a bathroom and even a shower! Cabins were smallish, but one was a little larger, the beds were smallish, but one of the rooms had an upper bed area too. Above deck was the place where the person driving the boat, I suppose, sat and did note a GPS. That was enclosed somewhat. Omega showed me how to use the radio, and went over all the rules for safety. Omega showed the dog where to potty. I was surprised/ no freaking stunned when the dog only did his business in that area. He put down an astro-turf styled mat in that location.


My head was swimming as the only landlubber, with nautical terms like aft, forward, port, starboard, stern, bow…boom, mast. I can't handle left and right, but giving me directions like go aft to stern. What???? Just walk carefully to the back of the boat. Oh Okay, I can do that.


I was worried that everything seemed to take so long but Omega said there was plenty of daylight left. The sails were up just as the sun was starting to go down. Once the engines were cut and smell the salt air, and you could feel the wind. It was amazing. It was quiet. The dog settled beside Omega and I on the deck. His brother and sister in law sat down and we just looked around us. I've never sailed before but could easily understand why Omega loved it. The dog LOVES sailing! He was like Leonardo DiCrappio on the front of the boat, with his tail wagging a hundred miles an hour. King of the world!


On the deck you could feel the boat's movements but down below it was much gentler the movement, like a soft rocking motion, almost like a waterbed. We had the room with the above berth, which worked well because we didn't have to fight the dog for room. He got the whole upper berth to himself and with the careful placement of a chair, he could get up there and down by himself. At night though, Omega moved the chair. When it was his turn to go up on the deck, to drive or, pilot the ship, he would return the chair in case the dog wanted to follow him. However the dog not liking the cold followed him but quickly returned to his spot on the berth. Omega preferred to be cautious and not sleep leaving the boat without a pilot, so his brother and he decided they would take turns.


Saturday morning I woke early, and could hear talking, I slipped out of bed and stood by the door listening, yes I eavesdropped. You know how it is when you hear two people talking when they think no one else is around. The kind of talking that comes easily. When I heard Omega say that he was heading back to bed, I jumped into bed and pretended quite unsuccessfully to be asleep. I just snuggled beside him and he pulled me close.


After he'd fallen into an easy sleep, I slipped out of bed, dressed, and made my way to the kitchen for coffee, then up onto the deck, I guess to gaze at the start of the day. Last night I had amazed Omega by telling him we were traveling north. I had cheated and found the north star. Omega had been quick to correct that it's actually called Polaris. But at least I'm not completely directionally challenged.


On the deck the sun was just coming up, way off to the east and I just quietly sat sipping coffee. The deck was damp but I didn't mind it, I watched as the stars slowly disappeared in sky. I felt a contentment that I hadn't felt in a long time. I guess I was pondering those feelings when his brother appeared on deck, startling me. We exchanged the normal pleasantries, but for a while he didn't say anything else. As if he was trying to figure out how to start, so I opened a door for him by thanking him for being so nice. His smile reminded me of Omega. He didn't look directly at me (I find most don't when they talk of difficult things with me), but said softly that his brother needs me. "He needs you, you know, " were the exact words spoken. He went on to explain that Omega needs me more than I could ever possibly need him. He doesn't know everything about me, or Omega and our life together, he just knows what Omega tells him and I understand that completely. I told his brother how much I love Omega, and I would never do anything to hurt him. He readily agreed, and got rather embarrassed, he said that he knew that I am in love with Omega, he said it was very obvious. He just said that Omega is very brittle. He was always like that even as a kid. I commented on how close they are and he shook his head, and told me that they've only been what he would consider close for the past 6 or 7 years. I said nothing but the fact that Omega turned to his family after Alpha's death was not lost on me. I told him that his brother is very complicated and he snorted into a laugh.


Once Omega and the sister in law were up, everything became very animated in discussion. All those little stories that you all too often forget about were retold over the course of the day. I learned more about both their childhoods than I ever thought I would know. We all shared stories. These people I was surrounded with were incredibly easy to talk with. I almost let my guard down a couple times.


That's just me. I'm exceptionally careful. So is Omega, because when the boat started developing issues he and his brother decided to turn us around early, which led to an hour of activity then we were turned riding the breeze toward home. Saturday evening Omega was piloting the sailboat, after his brother and sister in law had gone to bed, and asked me to go aft. I looked at him and smiled. I would never do that in a moving car. However I did while he was driving the boat.


With the stronger winds to our backs now we traveled faster, and we quickly made it back to the harbor late in the morning Sunday. Omega and his brother spent hours securing the vessel, making calls about the rudder and whatever else needed doing. By the early evening I learned what the term sea legs meant. I felt like I was rocking most of way back to the car and most of the way home. Omega and the dog weren't bothered by it though, just me, and all I could think was, "that figures."


We arrived home very late, Sunday night and our problems we left behind on Friday morning were waiting for us. We spoke again about the slapping incident, and Omega is encouraging me to show my therapist the blog entry with comments. He shared a little of his therapist appointment on Friday morning. I guess he discussed it with him too. The reviews were mixed. While it's good that Omega is letting out his anger, as opposed to keeping it inside that drove him to his addiction, he didn't let it out in the right way. His therapist is concerned that he is on a dangerous path and it needs to be checked quickly. They discussed things he can do when he feels that anger. Omega got to use some of those techniques on me on Monday when I was getting snippy about calling my therapist and asking for an earlier appointment. He wanted me to and I didn't want to. He yelled and I yelled back. I called her and left a message. She phoned back. Now I get move around my schedule tomorrow morning for an appointment. UGH My therapist knows I'd rather eat nails than see her to begin with, so I guess she figured for me to ask to see her...I dunno.


For now, we're leaving the punishment side of our relationship behind.