Another week has already gone. Busy. Mind is quiet, which is good, as I need it be centered. The other night we scened and took renea too far--I realize that now. She was deep in throws of subdrop. She is not used to aftercare--I cannot fathom the type of Master that would just let their slave to their own devices. She must have gone through this before.
This is by far my longest posting but I feel the need to address this directly.
Renea is doing much better. She was in the midst of sub drop, a common form of depression. Across the years I have seen all types, bottoms have gone from being in tears to laughing to hitting, then back to crying. I have witnessed women become suicidal. It can be frightening for both the top and bottom.
I cannot stress enough the importance of aftercare; the slave/bottom needs to know it's okay to have these feelings even if they feel scared and confused by them. Kelsy (alpha) saw no reason for aftercare, so renea is often at a loss to let out her feelings, nor does she understand them. All she understands is that she must find a way to make them right and it became a defense mechanism for her. I believe that is why she made the odd offerings to me--water sport is something she truly detests and I respect that. Yet, I see nothing wrong with fulfilling her request, except that I know she wouldn't enjoy it. It is not on any level anything renea would do. I shall not abide that.
I cannot force her to safeword, when she feels overwhelmed or in physical pain, I can only encourage her to do so, and further encourage her to express her needs. I know some believe slaves aren't entitled to have individual needs. However, I believe since slaves are indeed humans, they have them. Unfortunately I cannot read her mind (regardless of what she believes), and can only encourage her in a most loving way to express them to me. Again, she is not used to that, but she will get used to it, like most things it just takes time.