What am I?

I can recall as though it were yesterday being nude, tied up with my arms above my head, the tips of my feet touching the cool floor.  I was screaming, crying, begging for mercy.  Alpha, holding the whip would pause occasionally to ask me.


"What are you?"


I would thrash about, continue screaming and crying, and feel the whip hitting my body.  Finally growing quiet, he stopped and repeated the question.  


Without any thought or hesitation I gave the answer deep down I knew he wanted to hear, "I am a slave."  


"Who do you serve?"  


"my Master."


"Who is your Master?"  


"you are."  


He put the whip down, releasing my hands, and I fell to the floor.  He walked away.  I remember being wrapped later in a wool blanket, because it scratched my skin and hurt.  He placed a collar around my neck and led me into a room.  He told me to get into bed, rest, and that I had much to learn.  He taught me how to walk, talk, keep my eyes lowered, how to gesture, and how to think.  He invited his friends to use me.  I learned to accept this and be pleasing.  I didn't know this was a lifestyle people pursued by choice.  I knew only what he told me.  And from that moment I wasn't allowed to question him about it.   The questions now I see so clearly I should have asked before that moment, I didn't know about.  


When we returned to he promoted me at work.  The rumors circulated (unstopped by him) that I got job because I was good at oral.  Not at all because I deserved it (which at that time I wasn't sure I did).  It was really humiliating but even that served a purpose to Alpha.  When, late at night, I was confronted by someone, he engaged into a little flirting, saying he heard I was a good girl.  I cringed.  He had heard I was talented.  Before I knew it, I was on my knees with this man's cock in my mouth.  I got home later that evening and ran upstairs. Alpha yelled at me for being late, not having dinner prepared and etc...I remember he slapped me.  When I related what had happened (in a flash of anger) he told me that he was proud.  To him I was nothing.  In fact I think now he took greater care in who he lent his car to than me.  


I don't like thinking about those days and even now...I die a little inside when I do go down that road.  However I was given a gift of a career in all that.  I had the tenacity to stick it out and prove to people I was competent and qualified.  That wasn't always easy but I'm better because of it.


Omega and my paths have been intertwined since those days, but we never saw how deeply they were.  Maybe we did but ignored it.  It doesn't really matter much.  


Today, I ask myself what am I?  The only answer that seems to matter is His.  I submit willingly and gratefully everything I am to Omega.  I give deference to him in all things.  He controls me in similar ways that Alpha did in that he demands respect, he will punish me and other ways like that.  He pushes me forward sometimes and other times he pulls me back when he feels I need that.  Omega is the Master that Alpha only wished he was.  


I guess that's the meaning of the word submission.