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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

where mouse contemplates 'no.'

Sir J wrote an interesting post about just saying no.  Of course Omega is HOH, but there are times that it needs saying...the "no" word comes out.  In the conduct rules Omega wrote that I must learn to accept no as answer without pouting.  Because mouse has a great pout that often gets her nowhere but it doesn't stop her from trying it.  

But when mouse says, 'no' it's not met with pouting by Omega, he listens to it.  Now, he might not agree with the reason for the, 'no,' and in fact might over-rule it.  But he always listens to it and takes it under consideration.    Sometimes it's something that mouse feels strongly about or is fearful of.  It shows him to take a step back a little bit, and guide mouse slowly through what he wants.   Other times the no comes a shock that he didn't anticipate, or assumed wouldn't be a problem, but instead learns a different perspective.  

Some Doms feel that submissives have no business using the word no.  They believe that "no" has no place in a TPE arrangement.  Thank goodness that isn't true.  

In our dynamic "no" isn't frequently used or thrown around by mouse, but it has been used, especially when she feels very strongly about something.  Omega tho, he might like to think he does, actually doesn't have all the answers -- at least not all the time because he's human.   And I don't think he'd be very happy with someone only capable of saying yes.   If he were doing something that potentially harmful to himself or others, mouse has a hard believing that expressing, "no, that's not a good idea," would be contrary to her position in his life.  

In fact mouse would think the opposite is true. 


  1. Mouse would be right about the 'no' word. When it is used it has to be seriously considered.

    But the pout, sheesh, the pout. I'm still working on understanding the pout but operating in spite of it.

    Thought provoking post.

  2. BabyMan,

    Rest assured I have issues with the pout as well.

    Perhaps one day mouse will grace us with an answer.


  3. Personally, I think that anyone who always wants a "yes" answer and will not tolerate anything else just wants a doormat. Just my opinion. I could never be an always "yes" person, I need to be able to say "no" even if that "no" is going to be overridden.

    BabyMan and Omega, what is it you don't understand about the pout? At least for me, the pout is simply an expression of my displeasure in being denied, or told "no". Or, sometimes, it is a way of looking so adorable that I can't be denied, hopefully (it doesn't often work anymore). I can understand though being denied the right to pout as one pout is from selfishness, and the other pout is manipulation.


  4. He isn't looking for a doll or a doormat. He wants to know what you really think. Or at least most days?

  5. exactly, thank you


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