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Friday, August 13, 2010

Where mouse gets angry

it needs saying that it doesn't happen often but like everyone mouse can get angry.  Omega doesn't mean to be insensitive, but sometimes he's such a...well, he's a man.  Sometimes it just snowballs on mouse, and it's never about the last thing (girl thing) it's really about the million little things that happened before that last thing. 

It really is sometimes much ado about nothing.  It's the leaving the toilet seat up, not wrapping up the bread again tightly after making a sandwich, or not telling anyone (namely mouse) that the mustard is empty.  Sure he writes it down on the refrigerator list, but....Ok!  That list should be taken before mouse goes to the store...but that's not the point, she thinks as she slams the refrigerator door closed, causing it's contents to rattle. 


What's the point again?  


Ohh....Anger.  Yes, we quarrel at times.  Ok, mouse quarrels, he remains very in control and stoic.  It's like nothing can rattle him.  When the subject of that anger is some third person, like mouse being annoyed with Lucy.  It's easy; but when he's the subject of that anger it's downright frustrating.  When he looks at mouse with those deep brown eyes, and says that he understands, mouse often wants to smack him.  His calmness makes her crazy. 


It isn't fair.  How can he remain so in control.  It makes mouse say things to get a rise out of him, because she's angry, so he must be angry too...Right?  It never works that way, and honestly sometimes she goes waaay too far and says very hurtful things.  He doesn't punish for those things she'll say, but he will walk away from the argument.  


Omega stews in what was said, maybe it's silently agreeing, maybe not.  That's the problem, mouse will never know because he remains silent.  The argument is over, and there are no winners or losers.  Just silence.  He's more than acutely aware of his flaws, and understands them, and mouse supposes like most, nobody likes those flaws pointed out.  Silence stings, and mouse knows that she went too far but she can't help but to be silent as well. 


Wordlessly we avoid.  Nothing would help anyway we both reason.  Until at least the ice is broken, but until that time it starts feeling a lot like permafrost.  With just a glance from him, he could if he chooses to make her feel better, to bury her fears.  Instead he waits and the longer he waits, a curious thing happens to mouse. 


The anger returns.  


The cycle of passive aggression is hard to break without some help, as the anger begins to rise she tries to combat it.  Now she's pissed again.  If he wasn't such a stubborn ass everything would be fine she reasons.  And she also knows that if this lasts until bedtime, we don't know long it can go on for.  And she knows she'll be punished, not in a direct way, but very indirect.  He will push her aside (which she will reason is just because it's too warm in the room), but in the morning she will know.  He will reject her and then she'll be begging for his forgiveness, which he won't accept.   


Sighing heavily, she closes the refrigerator door quietly, only in her mind is it loud and looks in Omega's direction.  Opening a cupboard, she takes out the bottle of gin, and makes him a martini and carries it to him.   Omega looks up at her and smiles warmly, his deep brown eyes pleased and happy.  All the thoughts brought on by the mental argument that roared in her mind, are fleeting; replaced with only the deep desire to crawl inside him and make things right.  

13 comments:

  1. Mouse, you're so adorably silly. For one thing, if he wasn't such a stubborn ass you wouldn't be half so attracted to him.

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  2. Isn't it amazing how just a small act of service and submission can get everything back on the right course again.

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  3. mouse ... I have to ask ... did you actually slam the fridge door or was that all played out in your head? Either way I'm with Serenity ... one act of service or submission can change the entire situation and it usually makes all the anger just go away.

    *Hugs*
    Humbly His,
    Heaven

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  4. I was thinking the same as Heaven, did you actually slam the fridge door?

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  5. Omega,

    ya, this mouse is sure you didn't need a ration of anything coming down on you.

    yours...

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  6. MC Sir...True...and excuse the groan, mouse is certain you heard.

    Serenity...you are so right and that was all it took.

    Heaven and Ronnie....no, or mouse should say not this time. The whole thing kinda ran through her mind in that instant.

    sfp....Glad you did. Omega didn't know anything about what almost happened until he read the blog. LOL

    Hugs everyone,
    mouse

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  7. Oh how I wish I had a bit of your self control lately... or your ability to rationalize your behavior before you lash out over something silly... or a bunch of little something sillies. I'd ask to borrow some of that, but what I really need is the ability to not fly off the handle due to my apparent knack for jumping to the wrong conclusion. If you have some of that I can really use it... I promise I'll give it back. :)

    *hugs*

    turiya

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  8. turiya....it doesn't always work but that time it really did!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  9. mouse -- I am curious what you think happened with the anger you were feeling? Did you choose to release it? Did you tuck it away somewhere? Did you rationalize it to nothingness? Where did that emotion go?

    swan

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  10. swan...great question! Probably a combination of everything, part was just letting go...part realizing if an argument started where it would go...and to be honest, it just wasn't that important.

    Now can't say that it won't be brought up at a later date or in a later argument...LOL. As mouse moved through the scenario of what would likely happen based on past experience, the emotion actually went away, dissolving.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  11. Letting things go is maturity. Good for you.

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