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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Behind it all

Omega's annoyed and rightfully so, I haven't been blogging as I should be.  I'm supposed to be writing something each day.  My thoughts help Omega.  They help us.  


Lately however I've been busy but that's not entirely true.  I have time to blog, I just haven't really wanted to for some reason.  Nothing exciting going on lately.  


There are times I think Omega wants more from me than I can give.  He'll push for more, until I feel like I'm going to break.  Lately it's ritual adherence he's been pushing.  At first I was more or less pushing back against it.  Who cares if I take an evening bath anyway?  The other night, after we had gone out for a lovely evening Omega talked to me about all the rituals he wants me to follow.  Why they're important to him and to us, and for me, in my place.  I promised to try harder. 


The next evening, I guess I forgot the promise.  I forgot that his generosity of the previous night.  He hadn't punished me.   He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me, more or less up the stairs into the bathroom.  He filled the tub with not exactly warm water, and in an equally not so nice way undressed me.  He squeezed my breasts hard, twisted my nipples while I said nothing, my eyes were wide tho.  I knew it.  Maybe on some level I wanted it.  He put the evil file clamps on my nipples and ordered me into the tub.  


I shivered as I stepped into it.  It felt cold against my skin as I kinda whimpered.  I felt his hand swat me hard against my rear, and he calmly repeated his order.  This time I did without much hesitation.  I was submerged up to my neck in the tepid water.  He watched me.   Ever so often he would reach his hand into the water and tug on the evil file clamps, which sent searing pain throughout my body.  I convulsed against the pain.  


Eventually he allowed me to get out of the tub.  He wrapped me in a towel and carefully removed the clamps.  He made me bend over and placed a large plug into my rear.  It took several minutes actually to work it in, but after working it a while, it slipped into place.  


I felt contained, controlled, as though my body wasn't mine at all but his.  He could do with me what he wanted.  He invited me into the bed, and I fell asleep quickly snugged beside him.  


In the morning, I was allowed to remove the large plug, and noted it came out a lot easier than it went in, but still hurt.   I felt open, exposed almost.  When it was time to wake him, he slipped himself behind me and entered me there.  He grabbed my hair and pulled it, and I had the most intense orgasm.  I went downstairs and cooked his breakfast while he showered and readied for work.  


After his meal he took me into the basement, and gave my maintenance.  His devise of choice was the cane.  He did the normal strikes then stopped.  He gathered me into his arms and held me as I cried.  I was crying still about the previous night, and I knew I had let him down and myself.   He kissed the tears away but then warned, if I continued to miss blog posts, I would make them up in another way.  


I weakly nodded that I understood, but shivered when he touched the cane.  I know the private blog counts too, but I haven't been posting much in that either lately.  I was slacking in a lot of areas and he brought me back around.  


That's the way it should be.  

2 comments:

  1. It is possible to get talked and thought out. Sometimes like everything in nature, we require germination. We need to pause, think, get real quiet and regroup. Sometimes we don't know what we think until we hear what we say, and that can take time to form. The greatest authors can not pull out words on demand all the time. They find tricks to do it if they must, but the process is a whole lot better if they are able to act on it as it happens. Just food for thought. It's a process a journey. Dom's need to learn patience as much as Sub's. Enjoy your posts. Have a lovely day.

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  2. I crave this kind of centering. When I am feeling unfocused or when I'm needing more of His control. it's one of the things that make long distance even harder because there is no way for Him to do this.

    hugs to you.

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