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Monday, February 28, 2011

Imperfections and conditioning

Good morning,

Last week during our discussion about the week's posts specifically the one about communication Omega remarked that mouse has been talking a lot lately...dirty talking to him at his request.  That is something that mouse finds horribly embarrassing.  Saying those things and talking that way, it's just not mouse.  Honestly she normally can't bring herself to say either "C" word.  Now she finds herself when alone with Omega saying all kinds of words.

Now, let's be honest, mouse can swear...really she can put words together that would make a sailor blush.  It's just that when it comes to lusty, sexy words, mouse is somewhat reserved.  Omega has brought that out of her, drawing it out slowly at first.  It's conditioning...

Yet Omega agreed that just hasn't been much other talk between us lately, so last night we talked a little in bed, before sleeping, it was nice talking with him.  There was a problem we soon discovered, while Omega was tired and ready for sleep, mouse couldn't.  Instead of falling asleep, she wriggled a lot beside him.  Finally, exasperated Omega sighed.  He whispered asking what the problem was and mouse said that she just couldn't sleep.  He chuckled softly and said that it didn't take long.

"What didn't Master?"

"I believe you are conditioned now to sleep better."  Omega replied yawning a little.  Tears started rolling down her cheek and she apologized.  He told her that it wasn't her fault but his, he should have thought about that, but also said he was just too tired to do anything about it.  Talking or discussion interrupts the process, he explained in a very tired tone.  He did some very mild nipple twisting and tugging, but mouse couldn't get to that place.  Eventually she did fall asleep but way too late.

Everything this morning is kinda thrown off and mouse is tired.

He's been accepting the blame for a lot recently, like when mouse showed up to a meeting with accountant with a shoe box stuffed with the years receipts only to discover she was still missing important stuff.  He didn't punish mouse for it, only said he was unclear in his expectations.  But truthfully mouse really should have known better and the guilt of that moment has plagued her.

It's led to stepped up micromanagement from Omega and he's truly trying this time to teach mouse how to be more organized.  While her day is just structured a certain way, her tasks/duties were not organized.  Until this time, they were something she would squeeze in.  Now he's trying something new.  Recently, with her input he reorganized the kitchen, living room and family room.  He used photographs.  Using a pretty vase of flowers he brought home for mouse,  placed it in various locations and asked mouse what she saw.  Oddly mouse's eye was drawn to the clutter behind or around, the pretty flowers.  He truthfully wanted to know if mouse would send an email of those flowers to Lucy?  No, she wouldn't.  He asked why and mouse told him that she'd clean up the area first and then take a picture.

He carried those flowers around the downstairs.  Including his office and as mouse expected there was no place a photo couldn't be taken. He said he didn't expect the house to look picture perfect all the time, but he also remarked that it shouldn't take days for it get there either.

All mouse could say is that she'd try much harder.


  1. I think that turning oneself over to conditioning like this takes more trust than most anything else. Of course people are conditioned all the time, by many different circumstance. This is so much more direct though.

  2. Quite the unique lesson! Clutter kills me too! I wish I could get off every mailing list there is, but I am working on all bills online to help. Good luck!


  3. My dear mouse,

    I enjoy all your words. Some, all though more than others ;-)


  4. Master and Mistress have me practice saying cunt because I usually pronounce it like a question.


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