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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Vunerablities

Good morning,

Before mouse begins this morning she would like to say that this happened a few months ago and was written about then in our private blog, Omega and mouse mutually decided not to mention it here, however since time has passed mouse asked for permission to post it.  We have since discussed it thoroughly and he stands by his decision.  While mouse didn't agree with it, she did let it go.  We have since agreed that while he was right and it was nothing to worry about, read: his error.  He did also agree that had it been something more serious mouse would be brought in.  

His mood was dark, so dark and mouse didn't see it coming.  Usually she can sense the clouds.  He seemed preoccupied by something gnawing at him.  Being the good slave and slut, mouse tried to distract him, but was quickly rebuffed.  The first time, she figured he was just being cranky.  Hard day at work or something like that, but no...this was much deeper and left the mouse feeling adrift.

It's hard when he doesn't let mouse in.  Everyone needs quiet time and certainly mouse understands that but to just recoil from everything.  One morning as mouse went about her ritual of waking Omega, everything was fine, he was responding the way he always does, then suddenly he stopped mouse.  He pushed her away, when she thought for a moment he was playing, he slapped mouse.  Not hard, but in that attention getting way that she crossed a line.

Where was that line written?  The mouse wasn't sure.  The anguish she felt was overwhelming.  What had she done so wrong?

Later that day she received a phone call that Omega was taken to the hospital and mouse was terrified.  Naturally rushing there to be with him.  He didn't want to see mouse.  That was the most terrifying part.  To not be let in.  Doctors assured mouse that he'd be fine; she should go home and rest.  He'd be leaving there probably the following day.  Doctors rarely say someone will be fine, if they don't truly believe it and yet, mouse couldn't leave.

O's had health issues since he was a child.  That's the reason why he's so finicky about his health but it's very unlike him also to ignore something.  He was too busy though and probably didn't see it coming.  When mouse finally did see him, he was annoyed with himself mostly and very cranky.  He hates being hooked up to anything so that IV drip was driving him crazy.  He comforted mouse as she cried beside him, speaking softly that it was fine and he was fine and there was nothing to be concerned about.

Nothing?

He ordered the mouse to leave and said he'd call her in 15 minutes and if she wasn't home she'd be punished.  After blinking several times mouse grabbed her purse and drove home.  Traffic though made her a bit long than 15 minutes.  When she walked through the door Lucy was talking to O on the phone and laughing.  He let her in.

His mood was much better.  He said he would be released in the morning and that he'd drive himself home.   His car was there????  A colleague had driven him.  He said that mouse wasn't needed.  He said nothing in a mean way or snarky but like he was stating facts.  He told mouse to sleep in the bed and which nighty to wear.  It occurred to mouse later after talking with Lucy that he was just his way of taking back control over whatever he felt he lost.  Not letting mouse in was a normal reaction for him.  In the end she said, it was a guy thing.

The following morning he did come home just as he said.  He didn't let mouse in much, just explained that it was his fault and that mouse shouldn't worry.  Oddly enough it worked, him saying that she shouldn't worry.  The old mouse could never have let something like that just pass, but somehow she knew he was telling the truth.

6 comments:

  1. Hugs, mouse. That was tough enough to read, much less live through. I agree with Lucy, it's a man thing.

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  2. Health issues can be so scary. Glad everything is okay.
    *hugs

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  3. KellyRed...ya it was hard...it took forever for mouse to relax after it happened.

    lil...Yep they sure can and ya it's been fine.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  4. I know I keep saying it... but you're a much stronger woman than I ever could hope to be.

    *hugs*

    turiya

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  5. turiya,

    No, not stronger -- just different you know?

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  6. I can go with different. :-D

    *hugs*

    turiya

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