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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Access

Daddy has access to all of mouse at all times and maybe more than he'd like (some of the time).  Daddy decides what clothing mouse can wear or not.  He decides what mouse does during the day.  He controls mouse the way she needs to be controlled.  If things go haywire, he'll decide what to do.

Additionally to all that, Daddy has all mouse's passwords.  But in an odd twist mouse was reminded that she has access to everything Daddy too.  All his passwords, work, financial stuffs.  Everything!  Should something happen to him, mouse knows exactly what to do, who to call and what is required.

Now mouse cannot advocate just handing over everything to a Dom just because he says he's a Dom or behaves like one.  They cannot demand that you simply trust them and get nothing in return but a "good girl," after handing over the information.  They must prove that they are worthy of such trust.  The reality is that mouse has known Daddy forever, more than half her life.  So ya, mouse trusts him.

The problem is that there are a lot of Dom types out there that just don't have their subs best interest at heart; they make demands -- in part because it's what they do and for some reason expect blind trust.  This is something that causes mouse a little distress for some new submissive just embarking on their journey.  What is too much?  Certainly, some Doms would never dream of asking for such sensitive information but as mouse has read and time again other's have.  Some have been devastated and financially decimated by their Dom's actions too.

Ultimately, each has to decide how much access is too much, but mouse asks that if you're new to this lifestyle, don't follow blindly or decide because you read on other blogs that others have done this.  Take into consideration how established their relationship is.

10 comments:

  1. Wise advice mouse:caution and sense sometimes go out of the window with the mad sub rush.
    HSxx

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  2. Mouse,

    Good advice. Sometimes when I'm reading D/s blogs I think "There is no way I'll ever be able to trust someone that much, I will never be able to have this type of relationship." Your wise words are reassuring because a sub shouldn't blindly trust a man just because he's a dom, a relationship and trust must be built first. It's a relief to know my caution is a good thing.

    Joss

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  3. I agree, wide words Mouse. I know I don't comment every time but I do love to read your daily posts Mouse.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  4. That's exactly the point I've tried getting across so many times in the past. So many think that they have to automatically give up everything that is demanded of them right from the start and it's simply not true. Some of us have been with and/or married to our dominants for years before allowing them that kind of control.

    Great post!

    *hugs*

    turiya

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  5. I love the viral nature of our posts - that a stray remark made by one of us-- sparks inspiration that jumps from blog to blog

    I appreciate the wisdom of my sisters.

    and bless you for it

    sfp

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  6. Such a great post. Thank you for so eloquently saying it.

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  7. I like that you have his info too. And like SFP, I like the viral (or is it spiral?) nature of the posts.

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  8. Mindset -- Thanks!

    a hidden slave -- It's true also there can be a lot of pressure to submit on a newbie sub. They want to please.

    Joss -- All trust is earned.

    ronnie -- same here!

    turiya -- It's true and because mouse's blog is so fluid, she often forgets to caution newbies. Really the subject hasn't come up in a while.

    Striving for Peace -- It is funny how that works...one post can inspire many.

    His girl -- you're welcome!

    sin -- yep, and it's mostly because mouse has noticed an increase in comments on her blog from people new to the lifestyle.

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  9. I don't post comments too often unless I find a blog that catches my interest and motivates me.

    This was very well written and has phenomenal advice for all submissives, new or experienced. I wish there was a way that your blog could be available to all the submissives. They would definitely benefit from your wonderful advice.

    I just had to write to tell you how much I enjoyed your post. Thank you for this very well thought out blog.

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