Control

Good morning,

Everything in life has a purpose or meaning, even if you don't understand it when it happens.  As Dominant, Master, Omega decides how much control mouse has over things in our daily lives.  It sounds weird, even stranger to write at times, but that's really how it is.  

The internal struggles we (submissives) all go through all come down, more often than not, to control issues.  We don't want to do something or we want something that is kept out of reach.  Sometimes we're pushed to lose a little more of our personal control.  We can try as hard as we like to say they're about our fears, we're afraid of losing ourselves in our submission, or we're afraid because of our past relationships.  But the truth is fear is the excuse and not really reason.  The reason is control.  When its given up, you can't easily just take it back.  Recently, Omega rearranged the kitchen, which used to be mouse's domain.  The arrangement made sense, it really works better than digging through 20 drawers to find the vegetable peeler.  It all hinges on doing certain things, which honestly is simple.  You have to put things back in the exact place you found them in.  

This whole thing really unsettled mouse, just like the recent 5 minute game Omega was playing and caused resentment to bubble to the surface.  Resentment.  Another thing we submissives tend to feel at times.  We sometimes resent horribly our Dominants control and the smaller the thing is, the harder it is to just swallow it and say they're right.  

Rearranging the kitchen drawers and cabinets was a huge undertaking, but it amounted to a very small thing in our lives.  Except that it fueled resentment.  Not only was mouse resentful that he did it, rearranged the kitchen and pantry (did mouse forget to mention he rearranged the pantry too) but, it was better than she had it before.  

It all went back to control and mouse's lack of it.  He was situating himself into areas that mouse never thought he would.  The kitchen?  He doesn't cook!  

The problem was for mouse she was directing her resentment at Omega and his control but really the resentment she felt was due to her own lack of control.  The fact that she gave it up with smile so willingly, made her inner feminist want to scream. 

Omega decided that mouse didn't need control over the kitchen in that way, just like he gave her only limited control over the type of car she drove, the clothing she wears, the type of undergarments, her rituals...

There are many things he allows her to choose within the limits he's set.

When mouse finally got that through her head, suddenly it seemed much easier and the pill wasn't so bitter.  That resentment she felt so strongly melted away.  Just like the heavy blanket he sometimes wraps mouse up in at night, his control felt comforting to her.  It was, in the end something she did really want and crave.  It wasn't about losing control over those things...it became about gaining an inner peace she didn't know existed.  It feels right and safe and mouse now wraps herself up in those feelings, just like Omega's arms surround her at night.