subdrop

Good morning,

Not long ago during an intense scene in the basement mouse was whipped and marked for her Master's pleasure.  Quickly she drifted to subspace even before he chose which implement to use first on his mouse.   We were busy a lot but mouse is honestly fuzzy on the details, but after her subdrop that time was difficult.  It seems the higher, mouse soars through subspace the harder the drop is afterward.  Sometimes its like floating down to earth gently, with no or little problems (like a parachute opened) while other times it's more like falling straight off a cliff.  The landing is hard.  There used to be a lot of tears and confusion, not too much of that anymore.  But now it's more like being stretched on a thin strand.  Getting too far out will cause the strand to break.  It causes mouse to break too.

Omega said that subdrop is like a mild form of shock; during an intense scene the brain releases all sorts of chemicals and when it's over those chemicals stop...The problem is during prolonged play, the body becomes used to those and different chemicals take over.  During the first stage of it, normally shortly after the scene this can lead to chills, exhaustion, some even have mild fevers.  He said in rare cases he's seen subs become hysterical and even suicidal.  

During the second stage mouse stays close to Omega because he's her anchor and will skip all activities that don't include him.  He understands it.  It's weird because she can't be far away from him.  A look from Omega can send mouse into a fit of apologies and tears.  He tries to keep her light, maintain her focus on him and then mouse is comfortable.  The empowerment she feels is incredible as though she can do anything.  That's actually part of the problem, during that time mouse doesn't realize her limitations.  Of course, she knows that she can't jump off a building and fly through the sky.  But even with more mundane tasks like driving becomes a challenge.

Ever drive the same route daily?  Most days you're driving and aware of what you're doing, but there are a few where you arrive at your destination and don't remember driving it at all, we called it autopilot.  It can be really unsettling, were you paying enough attention to the road?  Subdrop for mouse is like being stuck in autopilot.  Clearly there's enough focus to perform tasks, but she's stuck in this perpetual daydream mode that she can't snap out of.

Once, while going through subdrop and cutting vegetables, mouse sliced her finger pretty good.  It's not like she doesn't know how to use a knife.  It was that she was soooo distracted that she didn't realize how close her fingers were to the blade.  In fact she hadn't noticed until it started burning (mincing garlic will do that).  A strong wave of failure washed over her.  There was only so much garlic left, she'd ruined much of what there was (she'd gotten blood on it) and now her finger was bleeding profusely.  Tears streamed down her cheeks and mouse was a loss at what to do.

This is why Omega doesn't leave her alone during those times.  This is why he makes sure he stays close by.  Because like being intoxicated mouse doesn't have the judgement needed to deal with anything outside the routine.

Added to that the emotions that rumble just below the surface.  And yes, Omega fixed the finger and it's all better.