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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Fantasy and Reality

Good morning,

For those days while Omega was playing his 5 minute game, mouse felt this burning resentment.  Yes, she wanted Master's control, but as she continued to feel she had failed at the game, it turned to resenting his control.  Why would he insist on playing such a game when it was clear that mouse was failing at it?  Yes, he was in control of it but mouse was just feeling so resentful of him for this.  Why when she wanted desperately his control was she resenting it?  This is what total submission is, you give up that control to someone else.  Let them handle it and you follow.  There are times that you have voice or even a choice, but there are other times, like during Omega's 5 minute game where the option to not participate was taken away.

Sometimes the lines between the fantasy of submission and the reality become blurred.  The reality is sometimes the control is cold feeling.  Distant.  Even mean.  Yet, it's always there.  After a while there's no more choices in submitting or not.

In mouse's case, the game had purpose, but mouse hadn't seen it until she wasn't just a test in masturbation, it was about learning...what works and what doesn't....making friends with that part of her body.  For a lot of women, mouse is sure, they'd have no problem with that kind of task but for mouse it was nearly impossible.  Nearly, but in the end it wasn't.  In the end, mouse learned and thanked Omega for teaching it to her.

The building resentment vanished, replaced by tears of exhaustion, frustration and even relief.  Which is probably another post for another day.


  1. My control can seem "mean?!"



  2. Aww Mouse ... I hope things get better for you soon .. it seems like you are getting there already :-)

    Lil' Heaven

  3. I think you'd actually be surprised how many women have issues in that department. I mean for guys... it's like it's almost expected that they'll masturbate. Still frowned on in some circles, but sorta expected. But a girl? No way... it's the absolute taboo. Girls aren't supposed to touch themselves down there and they're certainly not supposed to enjoy it. I honestly haven't met many women who do know how to give themselves pleasure... and some who don't even know it's possible.

    Trust me... you're not alone in that department.



  4. Mouse,
    Thank you for presenting the whole picture - the difficulty, the resentment - the fact that it's not all sexy fun - but that it's not just mean or cruel just on a whim or without thought and purpose.

  5. I'm just the opposite. I've never had a problem touching myself (at least in private). I did grow up in a household that it was :( upon.
    Now with Sir he likes to watch and is making me do it more and more so it wasn't as hard for me to come to terms with then most people. Our society still hasn't gotten over the stigmatization that masturbation is not a "sin".
    Our bodies were made for pleasure and pain.
    Enjoy the ride.


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