We are the sum total of our experiences, the good, the bad and ugly. Long-time readers of this blog know that Daddy has known mouse for years, over twenty years since she walked into his life as a receptionist in 1989. That was a loooooooong time ago. Daddy's friend noticed mouse's submissive qualities and brought her into the lifestyle. Daddy was allowed to use mouse the way he wanted.
After her first owner passed away from cancer mouse was alone for many years after that. Afraid and unwilling to take part in life. During those years she threw herself into work because personal relationships were too painful to think about. Daddy and she drifted apart, only to reconnect years later in another state.
During those first years after we reconnected, although mouse didn't realize it she was being mentored by Daddy. He didn't talk about the lifestyle at all, but slowly nonetheless drew her out of her protective shell. He took care of her when she was ill, never really leaving her side until she was healthy enough to care for herself again. He started making dinner plans and scheduling weekends. At first mouse felt she was his go-to girl when he had no one else to do stuff with. The only thing he ever said that was remotely lifestyle related was something about how difficult it must be for mouse not to share her past. To talk about it in a safe way, so that she could work through the issues of abuse she'd suffered. He mentioned lightly that blogging was popular and it might be a way to write about those difficult times. In looking back to the early days of this blog, nearly two years ago now, mouse didn't write a lot of details about her life and abuse, it was more about recovery from it. And it helped.
Daddy started showing up in the blog, first as "Beta" which he hated and later as Omega (which he might have hated even more). While he was still simply known as Beta, he would occasionally comment and always showed great support of mouse. Our relationship was not at all physical. That scared mouse the most he did was a nice tender kiss on the cheek or on the forehead. Ya, he's good at waiting. One night after dinner mouse and he were talking and he started to reading to her from a book. The sound of his voice made mouse very dreamy and she started to think how comfortable this all was. How safe he made her feel and only now does she realize he was Daddy even then.
So the answer to the question is that Daddy made mouse who she is. He guided her along, pushed her up the mountainside and pruned the bonsai so that it grew and flourished, but most of all and through it all, he showed her consistency and she offered him constancy.
Without those elements neither would survive very long.