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Friday, May 6, 2011

it's not always perfect

Good morning,

Living in a 24-7 M/s relationship doesn't mean that everything always runs smoothly.  In going through past posts, mouse found this little ditty that went unpublished from a year ago.

"When Omega is ill and basically bedridden, mouse just gets annoyed fairly easily with him.  The nagging begins...did you take your meds today?  Did you check your blood sugar?  Are you sure, you know you can't eat until you've checked it?  What, you want another pillow?  What do you mean you've "lost" the remote?


"All this comes from a totally different place, when Omega is ill it's nothing to ignore and it can go from being not too bad to deathly serious in the matter of minutes.  It's stressful when he's not feeling well.  The stress needs to be released, but it's hard.  The truth is while Omega can be a bit more demanding when he's ill, mouse doesn't just handle it well, because she knows that it can go bad so quickly.  Quickly mouse turns for loving slave to Omega, into a nagging, cranky nurse.  Not at all pleasing.  As he improves however, mouse becomes much more relaxed and the service side of her begins to take over."

This made mouse giggle because nothing is going to change that and its all true for the most part and really it could have been written last month instead of last year.  His aches and pains mouse can handle fine, but when Daddy is ill...laid up...sick, it's a game change.  It makes mouse grumpy to be busy elsewhere in the house and have to answer his calls (which are fairly frequent).  Yet she does it...Climbing up and down a million times is exhausting especially when you just reach the bottom and he's calling again.

Yet at the same time, mouse loves waiting on him and feels so guilty for being short tempered with him, and depending on how ill he is, it largely goes unnoticed by him.  If it wasn't for the worry, maybe she could mentally settle down and just enjoy doting on him a little more.

Now when he's in a bad mood mouse has learned to give him a lot of space.  Don't pester him with details about Homeowners insurance, or that the car needs service.  During those times, mouse needs to step up her game, be more attentive but from a distance.  Easier said than done because it requires hovering without seeming to hover.  Knowing mouse is hovering would annoy Daddy.  Meeting his needs before he even knows he has them is important and requires a little mind reading at times.   Well, not so much mind reading but paying close attention to his tells.  If he rubs his knee, he might want an Advil.  If his cup or glass are half full, he might appreciate a refill.  It's when he leans back in his chair and rubs his eyes that mouse knows it's time to approach him, to offer herself in some way that will please him and take his mind off his troubles.

Timing, as with most things, is everything.

Get him at that right moment and the pay-off can be huge.  Wrong moment and mouse feels like her world has just collapsed.  After the reality of the crushing blow is shook off, she learns something new about him.   Like everything else its filled away for future reference.

2 comments:

Alujna said...

It's amazing how much you can nurse a person and anticipate their needs when you know them as well as you know your Daddy.

Of course it isn't perfect. I've often said this and I'll say it again..lol. Perfection is over-rated.

But what you have is just right for you!

Hugs,
Alujna

Anonymous said...

I think all us has flt this way at some point in our relationship, hugs