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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Newbie Tuesday: The Fantasy of slavery

This weeks topic is about TPE relationships and what they're really like.  For some reason many people have this idea that the slave is kept in chains, nude of course, does everything for the Dominant, has no life at all, no friends or family.  They exist solely to please their Dominant and get nothing in return.  They are not allowed to talk back, to complain or voice any type of opposition.  A good slave will spend hours on her knees waiting patiently for her Dominant to give her a command.  No thoughts except for the joy of service ever enter her mind.  

This is the classic slave fantasy or maybe the gateway to owning a slave, most Doms find so appealing.  Think about that someone to screw whenever they want, they never talk back or have a bad day, they are ready to serve.  They cook and clean without any complaint and take care of their Dominant (probably the way their own mother would or how they felt their mother should have been).  This is the fantasy.  They will talk about addressing the slave as "it" and treating them like an object.  They will tell them that they will even "sell" the slave if they find someone willing to take them on...

Now this is appealing as well to some potential slaves too.  They will read about the "true slave" ideals or profiles and think this how they should be.  This is what they have to accept in order to be considered a slave.  

There are some dynamics out there that thrive on being high protocol.  There's nothing wrong with those at all, in fact Omega and mouse are probably medium protocol or moderate.  We have our rituals and routines but things hardly are smooth sailing all the time.  We sometimes quarrel, sometimes he'll even "give in" to something mouse wants just because.  Yes, mouse has handed herself unconditionally to Omega, but he's also unconditionally devoted to mouse.  And that is in essence what slavery really is.  The truth is that mouse couldn't leave him if she wanted to and rarely questions his authority.  Still there are times and have been times where she has questioned it.  It is very easy give and take, and something either of us really don't have to think much about.  Yes, we both go through moods and over-all grumpiness but we deal with that and work through it -- Together, as a unit.  

It's about picking the battles you know are important.  

Now through the years mouse has never known a 24/7 nude slave, who does nothing but cooks and clean...remains chained throughout the night.  Cooking and cleaning while nude isn't always that practical for one thing, even people who live in nudest colonies wouldn't attempt frying anything completely least not more than once.  Cleaning materials are often caustic to parts of the body aside from hands and being kept chained at night, well that's just silly because it's such a fire hazard.  

The mute and always kneeling slave is really another fantasy whipped up probably due to online chat-rooms where the slaves are lined up or kneeling on "furs" for hours at a time.  In real life, lets see any slave, kneel for 5 hours and gracefully rise in a fluid motion to get their Dom a glass of water.  Uh huh.  While mouse will frequently sit at Omega's feet, she rarely kneels and simply cannot for a long period of time once she was passed maybe the 6th anniversary of turning 29.  

The truth is all relationships require work to sustain themselves, not just one person doing the work but both of them.  Are there rules?  Of course.  Are there rituals?  You bet.  But there are rules for both sides of the power exchange.  Not only for the submisives or slaves but for the Dominants as well.  It's their job to protect their property -- ah there's that  Yes, slaves are property but they are only by choice.  They consent to their whatever their dynamic entails.  If their Dominant insists on marking his slave weekly or daily even, they must consent to that treatment.  A slave cannot consent to what they don't know about.  If anyone (Top or bottom) is being coerced into the lifestyle, without fully understanding what it's about, how can you EVER know they aren't just going along with you?  They want to please you?  The pleasing factor is powerful.  A Top might actually dominate his wife because he feels it will make her happy, but never really feel it deep down.  Same can very true for the submissive.  She just might think her husband is kinky and there's nothing wrong with that.  She might not want to rock the boat or maybe she likes some of it, but again, she can't submit or commit to a lifestyle she knows nothing about.  She could just be waiting for the whole thing to blow over. 

And that is true on both sides....

If a top is vague about expectations the submissive needs to look at that closely (you can't consent to what you don't know about).  If after an intense scene if the Dom doesn't care for and look after his sub or slave for as LONG AS IT TAKES, the submissive really needs to rethink things.  

All this brings us to an upcoming topic:  Before, during and aftercare of the submissive

A final thought about the fantasy verses reality of 24/7 slavery.  Like all relationships they are a lot of work but if time is taken and there's a lot of understanding and patience on both sides, a lasting, blissful and enduring union can formed that will be stronger than anything either could imagine.  

Next week's topic:  Pain

Be seeing ya!


  1. Very well said!! I think this would be good for "curious friends" to read in addition to "newbies".
    Thanks, and great series :)

  2. Very well written and nice points. There are a lot of misconceptions in this lifestyle, as we all know. Probably none more so than Master/slave. People have visions or thoughts that they believe it entails based on what they have seen or read on the internet. A majority of the time it is very far from the truth and reality.

    Even in mild D/s, I have heard a lot of times from people who begin to learn about TTWD, that it is a lot different than they had envisioned. It almost always comes from preconceived notions and misconceptions about only seeing the harsher aspects of this lifestyle in stories and pictures. Most of the time these notions are about as far from reality as it can get.

    Nice post and thank you for pointing so much of this out to all that may not know.


  3. There is a lot to learn when it comes to these lifestyles, and I think it takes some time to take it all in. It's not for the lazy or the careless either.
    I'm looking forward to your next and upcoming topics.

  4. Dear Mouse,

    Have I mentioned lately how much I love your blog? I love when you talk about your personal experiences, but also pieces like this that are informative and helpful. Not only is it well written and interesting, there is almost always something particular that I needed to hear. And it helps keep me grounded in the reality of this.

    Many thanks,


  5. I'm sure there's lots of guys who get off the on the idea of having a woman always available to them, who will obey and submit. Little do they realize the level of responsibility they take on. Making decisions, guiding the family, always being in charge can get tiring too.

  6. Good work here. The more of "us" that are willing to speak the truth about how life works "really" in power exchange relationships, the more likely it is that people will not walk blindly into some sort of lurid, fantasy-driven mess.


  7. Damn there goes all my fantasies about female submissives....

  8. Mouse: I don't consider myself a newbie... but I love Newbie Tuesdays. :) This post was excellent. Thank you.

  9. Thank you for this wonderful new series. While I'm not a slave, I've learned so much reading your blog.
    You are right about every relationship taking work. My husband (Dom/Top) and I have been married for 24 years and it took me 22 years to tell him what I needed, while he didn't understand at first, he's been willing to learn and give me what I need. So we've been learning together.

  10. To everyone!

    Thanks so much for the encouragement to keep going with this! So glad people are finding the series so helpful.

    Mistress -- are male subs that different? Mouse has always felt they were but is interested on your take. Because much that mouse writes is geared toward female subs....really don't want to exclude the guys!

    Again thanks for the comments!



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