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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Taken in hand?

Good morning,

A few weeks ago, while at the summer house an acquaintance came up to mouse during a barbecue and asked if she was, "Taken in hand?" This was rather surprising to mouse and raised all sorts of mental alarms, as she feigned incomprehension to the subject.  It did however, cause some serious moments of panic in mouse was it all so obvious?  Was she being too attentive, too quick to cater to his every whim?   Until the party ended and everyone left, mouse was finally able to relax a little, she felt eyes on her the whole time (which was likely in her own mind but nonetheless).  It was like being examined out there in the open.  How an innocent question can throw mouse off!

Still, unable to get the thoughts out of her mind over the worry about 'outed,' caused her thoughts to scatter over of the 'what if' parts of it all.

Much later after tidying up and during rituals mouse became lost in her meditation, pouring over the thoughts, examining each of them and trying to decide if she did the right thing.  Taking longer than normal Daddy came into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, watching his mouse lost in deep meditation.  He gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and asked, "Where are you?"  His common question when mouse gets that far-away look in her eyes

Words didn't come easily as she hurried to finish her rituals and waited for permission to enter the bed.  He pulled mouse close and waited for the words to pour.  With some newfound clarity mouse recounted the story of earlier that evening.  Daddy listened offering no suggestions of what she could have said or not.   He only said that face to face discussions can be very disconcerting.  Ya, no kidding!

So, while mouse still isn't sure what she should have said, she's going to put it to her readers (if she has any left) and ask you what would you have said?

PS this was the second time this post was written the first one became lost in a blogger black hole.


  1. Whenever i'm faced with a question i'm unable to answer,( i'm often left spluttering and gasping, not very attractive!)i use a standard fallback. Relevance. Master says that any question worth answering must have relevance, so i answer a question with a question, "In relevance to what?" or "In relation to whom?" or something along those lines.
    This gives me time to a)retreat to the safety of Master's side
    b)come up with a witty re-direct(well, i can try!!)
    c)figure out a polite way to say "None of your business, chum."

    i don't know if this would have worked for you that evening, but Master believes in being prepared, so i try to be prepared.

    Really, only because running away in horror generally isn't an option.


  2. If I hadn't done exactly what you did, I'd like to think I would have explored it a little. Maybe said, "Oh,That's interesting. I've read about that. What makes you think so?"

    Welcome back mouse!

  3. Oh wow, I wish I had something useful to say but I think I would have probably just frozen and been like "uhhhh?" Chances are I would have gone with the whole "what is that" and "isn't that an excessively personal question?" and attempted to laugh it off. But I have never been smooth with things like that at all so I'm not qualified to offer insight here.

    Blogger seems to be full of black holes these days. Glad you escaped it!

  4. Oh I think you handled it fine...especially when we must be "cautious" to those around us. You may very well be right in that it was simply your attentiveness to Him was noticed. That's not a bad thing!

    (Yes, you still have a least one reader - and a new one at that!)


  5. Welcome back mouse. Hope you had a wonderful summer.

    I think you handled it just fine.

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  7. In response I would have asked, "Whose hand?" and walked away.

    Every question does not deserve an answer.

    I think you handled it fine. I love how Omega picked up on your anxiety and that only in his arms were you able to unburden yourself.

  8. My feeling is that if someone is familiar with the correct language, then they deserve a true answer. There is nothing to be ashamed of and maybe that person was looking for someone to talk with.
    Hugs :)

  9. I would've feigned ignorance as well. No offense to your acquaintance, but it seems pretty rude to me, to come up and ask such a question.


  10. I probably would have probed a bit to find out why they would ask that question. But that's probably because I'm too curious for my own good at times. Lol

    I think you handled it okay though. A party with other ears around isn't a place to talk about things like that.



  11. I think I would have looked quizzical and said, "Taken in hand?" That would have bought time, and maybe gotten more information out of them. But that's what I usually do when I'm freaked out by a question or don't know what to say.

    I wonder too if this person is trying to learn more about the lifestyle - but that doesn't mean it's up to you to teach them.

    I think you handled it well.


  12. If you are concerned about being outed or don't fully trust the person asking the question, you could have said, "What do you mean?" and allow them to elaborate. Then you can fess up or not.

    If it is someone you trust and are sure they will hold your info in confidence, I'd asked them "what do you mean?" then briefly explain that you are in a male led relationship (no other details are necessary) and then give them a chance to tell how they know the term and to answer if they are "taken in hand."


  13. Quite a challenging one to answer. Feigning ignorance to ths subject was probably the best, not knowing the relationship you have with the questioner. Would they likely have been supportive, or accusatory?


  14. pepper -- true, running away isn't an option, but there were lots of people there so it was easy to avoid.

    little monkey -- Really it was a deer-in-the-headlight moment.

    lil -- ya, know what you mean...

    His_C Thank you and thanks for reading ;-)

    Joeyred51 -- Thank you!

    Mane Empress -- Daddy-O always knows and knew at the party something was up but wasn't sure what.

    SBF -- Honestly, mouse didn't consider that until much later.

    k -- well mouse or Daddy didn't really know the person, it was like a block party type of thing.

    turiya -- another good point, thanks!

    Beingaisha -- That was another thought that occurred to mouse.

    Hedone -- This was a random person mouse has never really met, aside from the neighborly wave in the yard, or passing them on the street.

    William -- not knowing the person at all didn't help!

    Thank you EVERYONE for reading and taking the time to post your thoughts!

  15. Hello again Mouse, glad to see some fresh posts from you. As you can probably tell by my late response I'm not on a daily schedule either, but I missed your presence when I did get a chance to read.

    As to your question here, I've had a similar experience. It was startling to say the least, but I'm fortunate that apparently I don't rattle to easily and I immediately recognized that for someone to ask such a question they almost certainly have to understand the lifestyle. Especially in your case, even with the advent of a certain chic trendiness being given to BDSM by society in general, the term "Taken in hand" is not common. This person has to have some connection to the lifestyle. The question is in what fashion.

    I think you handled things fine, but depending on who this person is to you, you might want to observe them a little closer with an eye to the thought that either they are taken in hand themselves, or have someone who is. Once you two can ascertain what their connection and intentions are you can let Omega decide how to proceed. My experience leads me to believe that this person either wants to be a friend or wants to be an enemy by "Saving" you. I'd advise you tread carefully until you know which.

  16. Very glad to see you back :) I would have been so curious that this person even knew the term, but my initial reaction would most likely have been the same as yours: deer in the headlights! Still, Daddy says I'm too curious so I know that would have gotten to me as the night went on and I probably would have sought the person out and tried to figure out why they asked! Even right now I'm terribly curious as to why they asked and how they knew the term! I think you handled it well though: be careful who you trust. And I love that your Daddy knows how you feel and also just offers comfort instead of a whole bunch of words and solutions. Sometimes even when I wish mine would just TELL ME what to do or the answer to something, he knows better and just offers his support.

  17. Do you think that she also was takin in hand? Because alot of people do not know unless they are doing it themselves.



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