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Friday, December 16, 2011

Formspring Friday!

Hi mouse. Am catching up on reading, it looks like you're in a much deeper submission then last year at this time . Can you recommend some posts you have written that show where these changes occurred? For example when did you start calling Omega Daddy?


Thanks for the question!  Yes, there have been lot of changes this past year.  Tho, it's super difficult to pick out posts that might be important, the one about why mouse started calling O, Daddy can be found here.  Honestly the changes probably started since the beginning but they've been mostly slow.  We started melding better over this last year and have only been going stronger.  :-)  

Thanks for the wonderful question!  

*note* The next several questions seem to related and from the same person since they were sent at the same time or within minutes of each other.  

sorry but this might sound silly .but my excuse is that I am an outsider to this life style and am trying to understand this better..does living this dynamic mean you do all the domestic chores and he does not chip in?..

Interesting question and thanks for taking the time to ask.  Daddy does do some things around here, so can't really say that all the domestic chores fall on mouse.  Guess it's easiest said that we each have our responsibilities.  Yes, mouse's do involve household chores and shopping, errands...after all right now especially she's off work until January and works mostly from home (tho that might be changing again next year) it makes sense that things are the way they are.  The vibe of the questions that followed seem to be kinda confrontational.  

is your husband power hungry?

Daddy does enjoy being in control and mouse enjoys his control.  Wouldn't really call him power hungry because there are things that are well out of  his control and he doesn't really want it either.  

controlling you in every possible way...does this not get tiering for him?

No, mouse doesn't think so.  

do you have kids?..do they know you two live this life style?..if they ask you why you do everything for daddy what would be your explaination to them?...they may learn wrong leassons by observing the two of you dont you think?

No it is not shared with family.  If they (family), or anyone, were to ask why mouse does everything for Daddy, she would simply say because she loves him and doing things for him makes her happy, which makes him happy...it's like a circle of happiness.   Cue the Disney music ;-)

As a side note, that's what people do when they love each other...they do things for EACH other.   Maybe it's just the way you worded the question.  But there's an implication that somehow it's wrong to demonstrate love and respect.  

Believe it or not, this doesn't mean that mouse is a doormat or just rolls over.  But it does mean that mouse remains respectful,  and that Daddy doesn't aways get his way or is automatically right just because he's the Master.  Omega (Daddy, Master) is Dominant, not domineering.  There is a big difference.   

So, while mouse isn't sure if these questions were serious (first question aside) or if they were meant to be snarky, at least she knows the answers were honest.  



9 comments:

  1. I admit, when I first learned that people live this kind of lifestyle 24/7, I wondered how the people around them didn’t notice, but the more I learned about it, the more I examined my own relationship, and what it may look like to an outside observer. My husband and I have a pretty traditional marriage at the moment, he works and I stay home with the kids, and guess what, I handle just about all the domestic duties, take care of all the errands, and do my best to get supper on the table for when he walks in the door. I have never questioned if I am sending the wrong message to my kids, and no one has implied I am a doormat. Every family works differently, and that is exactly what we tell our children.

    I think the biggest difference between my vanilla marriage and yours is the formal rules. Every relationship has expectations and rules, and consequences when they are not met. For you they are very clear, for the me they are vague, disrespectful to him, maybe I get the silent treatment, he comes home to find a complete disaster, I probably will have to listen to his snark for a while. There are always consequences.

    I do still wonder what someone would tell a child about a door that is always locked or what they may say if a child discovered what was behind that locked door, but I’m sure it would be the same thing I will tell my children if they ever find that special box at the back of the closet. It’s not your business what your parents do behind closed doors.


    I'd love to come off anon, but all my online stuff is lumped together, and heaven knows what the ladies at the knitting club would think.

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  2. I always think it's odd when people say why don't the kids notice, because really, any hardcore or sexual activities are private. As for outside the bedroom, as mouse said, respect looks like respect, and hopefully goes both ways.

    My parents kept their door locked at night and I am 99.999% sure there was no BDSM involved. It didn't take me long to figure out NOT to look for toys or other materials, either. A married couple deserves a private sex life regardless of whether that sex is vanilla or power-weighted.

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  3. Lots of us have kids, or whatever other family or other circumstances to work around. The fact that we don't write about the logistics of working around it doesn't mean we aren't careful. Who know's what the perfect balance is, for which child even. Our kids see their parents in love, communicating, and affectionate. They see us respect each other. Hopefully, that is what they will learn about intimate relationships - no matter what flavor they eventually end up with.

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  4. Anonymous -- Welcome! Thank you so much for commenting and yes, it's kept private. We are careful about all that, Yes, we have strong formal rules and expectations, but that goes on both sides. He expects mouse obey and mouse expects him to pay attention and care that the rules are being followed.

    As to the locked door and children issue, let mouse pose this question to you...you are in the middle of sharing intimiacies with your husband and look up to see one of your kids standing there...what do you say?

    Ashley -- thank you.

    Amber -- Exactly! But really do kids even think that much about their parents sex life?? When mouse was little she'd hear her parents doing it...eeeeeeew! Even if ya didn't know for sure, once ya knew were baby's came from and periods...ya just understood what was going on. Now mouse finds it sweet, but back then...

    Greengirl -- yep the focus of this blog is about our dynamic, or power exchange, not about extended family and never has been. The overall implication is that's it's just wrong...and mouse feels that children are used as an excuse to somehow highlight it.

    Thank you for all the comments!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  5. Very honest answers Mouse. I understand why you wonder whether the questions were snarky, but I had the sense that they were genuinely curious about stuff that seems unfair.

    And I don't think our kids want to know anything about our sexuality. I certainly didn't want to know about my parents.

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  6. Hi Mouse,

    I love how honest and candid you are in your blog. I have wondered though whether you ever considered getting assertiveness training? I just question what you get out of the relationship. I just see how you write that you do all the cooking, household chores normally, that Omega might cook very occasionally. Also when Omega is "busy", you seem to just accept it instead of not tolerating him shutting you out. Do you ever feel resentful or angry about any of this but just bottle it up? Oh and that you have all Omega's family over at Christmas time and that the entertaining is mostly left to you to do-could you not just go to their houses some years also? What may I ask does Omega do to please you? What does Omega do to make the relationship work? Thanks for letting me comment, hope I haven't offended either of you as I do enjoy reading your posts.

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  7. Sin - yes what child wants to think about that!

    Anonymous - after some consideration, mouse decided to address your questions in a blog post.

    Hedone - <3's and thanks

    Thank you for the comments,
    mouse

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