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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tongues of lilting grace

Greetings from mouse,

Been writing a lot lately...maybe it's all the changes but the thoughts are pouring out of mouse like water. Our lives and lifestyle. The other day Daddy noting Stepford wife references and asked if mouse wanted that. It got mouse thinking how painfully simple life would be. To be that way, no thoughts save for cooking, cleaning, pleasing Daddy...taking care of children. Everything lifestyle wise has changed so drastically, which we knew it would its just that mouse is having hard time finding balance in it all.

Daddy smiled at that and remarked if that was all, mouse was already there...a poorly timed joke that started tears flowing that mouse couldn't explain; at least at that time. Daddy suggested that mouse be still with the thoughts for a bit and see where they take her. There was nothing to do but agree but a week has passed already, and mouse is no closer to figuring out why those thoughts keep invading mouse's mind. Maybe it's just the simplicity of it all, it seems life right now is kinda complicated. Of course we knew life would get this way...Don't get this wrong life is fine, but mouse is feeling...dunno...not very well contained.

Maybe it's easier without all these other thoughts that's appealing to mouse. Maybe if she were like a Stepford wife, then she'd be more robotic...but really, there would be no grace in each day. There'd be nothing but routine. Yet that's exactly what mouse craves desperately..that strong sense of containment to just be wrapped up in a blanket of slavery -- covered by Daddy.

Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace...

16 comments:

  1. Omega and Mouse,
    I want to apologize for spilling the beans about the babies gender on twitter yesterday. I thought I had replied to you in a private message but ignorance is not an excuse. Please except my sincere apology. I hope I deleted the entry quickly enough that it wasn't read by many.

    Again I am sorry. I've told R so that he can punish me according for revealing a secret that was not to reveal.

    With sincere regrets,
    heather1

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  2. mouse, You're nursing a new baby, and the hormones associated with that are very very powerful things.Do not discount their effect.

    No matter how much you prepare yourself, a new child takes you through a doorway. You have gone very quickly from being lover, to being mother. No wonder you feel "un-contained".

    Taking into account your exhaustion (I know you are, all new nursing moms are)a new ritual might be just the thing to help you through your "stepford" phase.

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  3. heather1;

    Really it was NOT a big deal at all. It was an honest mistake. One just about anyone could have made and mouse simply won't have you beating yourself up over this...

    Really now!

    Big ol huggles to heather!

    mouse

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  4. little monkey,

    Oh of course and you're so right about that...Daddy said much of the same...he's soooo rational.

    It wasn't like we didn't know this would happen of course we knew...Just never really considered how emotionally wrapped up mouse would become.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  5. And again, here I am blithely ignoring the meat of the post and focusing on the tossed-off bit at the end...

    But seriously-
    Despite my long-standing obsession with the hawtness that is Robert Plant, I've still rarely been able to decrypt many of the lyrics of Zeppelin.

    mouse - you are my new hero!
    Thank you for prompting me to look up those gorgeous words. :-)

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  6. Jz.

    It's true mouse is a long time music junkie and there's like a what? A billion songs, so why not lift a line or a title to encapsulate a feeling? And the over-all hawtness of RP is NEVER EVER in question or doubt.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  7. Oh one more thing Jz, mouse kinda subscribes to the Bob Dylan way of looking at music...what does it mean to you and how does it make you feel? He would often say in interviews when people would ask him about a song and what he meant...he would turn it around by asking what did it mean to them. Then after hearing their answer saying, that's what it means!

    That's really what its all about, music is very personal.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  8. So, are you wanting to be a stepford wife? Because it seems that you are. You have no opinions other than what he tells you, and your excitement in your blog shows through mostly when youre describing a meal you've cooked.
    Out of curiosity, do you hope for your daughter to one day be treated as a thing with no real rights? Do you want her to sleep chained up next to some guys bed? Do you want her to be used whenever some guy feels like it?

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous,

      I find it rather telling, the way you attack mouse's opinions as an extension of Daddy, when your own opinions are merely none other than society's... what you have been told to think regarding right or wrong, good or bad, pleasant or distasteful. To relinquish one's life, completely, to another is a freedom in and of itself. Life is duality, there is no escaping this natural law while existing in the physical realm. Your way of living differs only by degree, yet resides on the same existence as everyone else's. In this, we are the same. It is only your limiting beliefs, chained to the master of narrow-mindedness, which say you are *right* while others are wrong. jen

      Delete
  9. Anonymous,

    There are many things absolutely wrong with you comment -- do we want those things you listed for our daughter? Let's start first with what we do wish for her. We want her happy, healthy, well-educated and a host of other things too numerous to list.

    And if our daughter, did want ANY of those things for herself, I'm sure she would never share the details with us.

    Just like we don't share the intimate little tidbits with our children or family. It's between us -- and none of their business.

    Look at this way anonymous, do you discuss in horrific detail your sex life with your parents, siblings or family? Do you discuss over dinner with your parents that swirly thing your partner did and how it made you feel or how wonderful the orgasm was? How would you feel if mom called you up and tried to discuss in detail the mind blowing sex she had with your father?

    Why on earth would you even remotely consider those things apply to us?

    As to no rights, it was mouse's choice to submit in the first place. It wasn't because of religeous doctrine, or tradittion, nor was because of childhood abuse. With Daddy she submitted understanding thoroughly what it meant for us both.

    Hope this helped to clear up some misconceptions.

    mouse

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  10. Nope, I don't discuss my sex life with other family members, nor with random strangers on the web. You however, do. So, since you enjoy discussing your intimate lives in a public domain, my question made complete sense. Do you want your daughter treated as a thing with no rights? And as for you making the ' choice', you yourself have recognized that you were in an abusive situation with your last dom. You either didn't recognize it at the time or refused to recognize it. That indicates that you don't have the ability to recognize a bad situation and leave. Is that how you want your daughter to end up?

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  11. I do not think you could be a Stepford wife, even if you wanted to (which I don't think you do). You have too much sensitivity and love in you. The desire to be covered is not robotic. It's the way you are, and it's based on the fine subtlety of the specific person that is you.

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  12. I wanted to respond to Anonymous's comment too. :-) I have given up my right to have the final say in all matters, but I am very opinionated and Wolf loves it. We discuss politics, religion, economics, etc. We influence each other and I often change his mind about things. But if there is a disagreement or something that needs a decision, I have ceded the authority to him to have the final resolution. Granted, our relationship isn't as physically close day-to-day yet as mouse and Omega's, but I don't feel constrained or undervalued in the least by giving this up.

    And sleeping chained up next to him? Mmmmmm, yes!!!

    love, squirrel

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  13. Mouse, I confess I have found myself curious about how your relationship works with your new baby. And I feel silly now that I read your response to Anonymous. You just what I do when I need personal time, wait till the kids are asleep! Lol I guess my curiosity was because of the difference in lifestyle.

    As for the rest of your stresses with feeling contained; take things one day at a time and when you begin to stress, enumerate the ways you are contained to remind yourself and help you feel more secure. Hope it helps.

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  14. Anonymous @1:22PM,

    Yes, mouse does discuss our personal lives in a limited way. Now as to let you know, mouse met Alpha in 1989, he died in 2002, since then mouse spent many years alone and living her own life.

    Did mouse make mistakes early on after Alpha's death? Yes! But she learned from those mistakes and she learned to trust that little voice inside that tells her when something is wrong.

    Someday, mouse will talk to her daughter about that experience, but she will NOT give details, because that part isn't important, what's important to all women is to listen to themselves and if anyone makes them feel wrong or unimportant all the time, or they feel as though they aren't good enough...or harms them physically or mentally they have right to take their power back and leave.

    This is something all our daughters should know. Abuse happens all over, across all socioeconomic backgrounds and regardless of lifestyle choices.

    Yes, mouse had a bad experience -- many women have that have never heard of bdsm. Many women can escape it, find true love and move on with their lives.

    We're not all, thankfully the same and life comes in many favors.

    mouse

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  15. That's how it was with my son when he was younger. I always felt not in balance (more so than usual at least) and it was a complicated game that I seemed to never grasp.
    Again I know I'm years behind but this struck me

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