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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Love is Asking to be Loved

Public expectations. It's very rare we go out alone together. Once in a blue moon type of thing...really -- well, lately. This highlights the differences now when it's just the two of us, verses being surrounded by firiends and or family. This post was written a while back, but never published -- it concerned mouse the post might be viewed harshly, however in light of her recent posts it seemed more appropriate and valid.

Daddy had the day off, his mom gleefully offered to watch the baby, and so, we went out. Daddy, walked with mouse beside him, his hand guiding her, controlling each step, on the small of her back. We stopped in a cafe and mouse knows better to touch the menu, or speak unless spoken to. The waiter arrives, asking if we've decided, and what mouse wants. Looking to Daddy, mouse smiles but keeps her eyes lowered. Daddy orders for mouse, then for himself. Honestly, mouse pays little attention to the exchange.

The waiter brings a bloody Mary for Daddy and mimosa for mouse.

Daddy takes his drink and sips it; mouse does not move until invited to by Daddy. Looking only at the drink, tiny bubbles pushing their way passed the orange juice. Slowly mouse alters her gaze staring at Daddy's shirt. The transparent gaze of her eyes moving lower, a smile forms. Sitting quietly, it occurs to mouse that she just never knows what to do with her hands and feels self-conscious. Should she place them on her lap or keep them delicately within his vision on the table? Daddy seems to like to see them so she doesn't move.

The waiter returns with some small scones and fresh jam, Daddy thanks him as he walks away. To serve Daddy, mouse, reaches slowly for one, takes using her fingers, pulls it apart nicely. Using a small spoon, places a small dollop of jam, repeating this process, she carefully arranges them on the small plate and hands it to him. Daddy samples it with one hand, while touching the nape of mouse's neck with the other. Daddy seems pleased, offering mouse a small bite. He feeds it to her very slowly slowly.

Are people watching? With her eyes fixed only on Daddy, mouse cannot be certain anyone has taken any notice.

It does taste good. Daddy now invites mouse to sample her beverage. The bubbles tickle her nose. Was that the rattle of chains she heard as she shifted in her seat? No. But she can hear them all the time, especially when she feels so contented. Sometimes it feels, mentally mouse is chained to Daddy and it drives her deep feelings of submission.

The waiter returns to check on Daddy's, drink. He passes on a second. The waiter ignores mouse, since she's barely touched her drink. Curious though, she muses about it, her mind drifting away. A short while later, someone else noisily asks who had the eggs benedict, startling mouse - jolting her back to reality. Daddy indicates they are for the lady and it is placed in front her as his order is placed in front of him. Like a ghost, mouse is ignored. They ask him if he would like anything else, he asks for coffee and hot sauce.

Now, things become interesting as mouse just watches him. Sometimes Daddy will feed the girl, other times he will allow her to feed herself. All mouse does know is that she cannot presume. His coffee arrives with his toast and hot sauce. Silently, mouse watches Daddy, dumping hot sauce over his meal, and wrinkles her nose.

Daddy looks to her asking," want some?" and mouse says nothing in return, it is for him to decide (but also knows he won't). He smiles at mouse, and hands her the knife, telling her to eat. Thanking him, she begins and eats delicately, slowly, watching Daddy between bites. Now it's odd that she knows to drink her mimosa, and to eat, but to also mind her manners. When mouse notices that Daddy is taking his time, enjoying the food, she does the same. The food is very good indeed and smiles brightly when she is asked.

The waiter returns to check on us, says nothing to mouse, but only to Daddy, leaving her to consider briefly how he, in an odd sort of way, controls them too. Without telling them they just understand mouse is to be ignored completely.

When he is finished eating, so is she. There's still a few bites of food on her plate. Daddy feeds it to mouse, slowly methodically...

Daddy claims the final bite for himself, and remarks how the hollandase sauce is very light tasting. He winks at mouse and she smiles. The check comes, he pays for it, tells mouse to finish her drink, one small swallow remains. As she's told, she takes it.

He walks toward the bathroom, waiting outside while mouse touches up her face and reapplied her lipstick. Then he again leads her out, his hand controlling her steps. We pause by a bookstore, which opened while we ate and he leads mouse inside.

Daddy walks her through the store, pausing. Watching him, mouse tries to ignore the books and keep her attention on him. He picks up a book on decorating, handing it to mouse to look at. It's full of beautiful pictures. For a moment she's lost looking at the book, and in this odd, seldom felt, but delicious headspace. Looking up for a moment she realizes, Daddy vanished! Panic fills her...quietly like a child she begins to tremble, hands shaking as she turned the pages and eyes well with tears. After a few minutes Daddy's back, he regards mouse, takes out a handkerchief and dries her tears, kissing her forehead tenderly.

He buys the decorating book and the other book he wanted, directing mouse back to his car.

He opens the door, helps mouse inside and attaches the seatbelt. He lifts her skirt high up on her thigh. He places the purchase into the trunk, and slides behind the wheel. He touches mouse's thigh with his fingers. Moving his hand further up her skirt, until he grazes her sex. It flames in wetness and heat. He withdraws his fingers and drives.

Song Selection: Love; John Lennon

34 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your beautiful day with us.
    Hugs,
    heather1

    ReplyDelete
  2. It sounds like a beautiful day. Why would you think this post sounds harsh?
    Just recently I had a panic attack when H and I became separated at the store. He had moved one isle over. I swear it was like I couldn't move and I instantly burst into tears. I could only explain it to myself as separation anxiety. He returned almost immediately but the anxiety lasted for quite awhile. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one, as I felt kinda foolish for crying.
    Thank you for pOsting this mouse, mg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mg,

      No, mouse worried it would 'viewed' harsh. Meaning by readers. It's been happening much more frequently when we're out together, the feeling lost when he's disappeared...LOL It's very much like a panic attack.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. That sounds oddly alluring, but I think I get why you sat on it for a while.

    Thank you for sharing this, I do appreciate all the perspectives you present.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kitty,

      Yes, it's kinda intense too. Just kinda worried that it *could* reflect poorly on Daddy.

      He told mouse many times that he didn't mind that at all. LOL

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. i think you sound a bit broken. Controlled nad contained. Its what you want and need.

    PS, asked you a question on formspring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon,

      Not sure about being "broken" will need to think about that. Did get your comment, and will be replying to that and others soon.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. Now I crave eggs benedict...and that level of control LOL

    What a wonderful day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear mindset,

      The eggs were very tasty! The control is just bliss! You'll find it too!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  6. Thanks for sharing your lovely outing. Having read your blogs, no, it doesn't sound harsh or reflect badly on Omega.

    It would be difficult for me to accept such total control. We're not that intense. "Different strokes for different folks."

    Thanks
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Joyce,

      Thanks for your kind remarks. It's funny but when blogging often mouse can't predict what people will comment on. Sometimes, mouse will think, Oh dear....then people ignore that part and comment on another part entirely -- it's sort of funny when you think about it.

      That's the nice part about TTWD, while it might be different from what you or others do, it's always interesting to read how people interact. At least it is for mouse. :-)

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  7. mouse, that was one of the most beautiful posts I have read in a very long time. Thank you.

    magdala~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. magdala,

      Thank you very much!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  8. Would love to hear what goes on when the kids are around. What's a typical outing for the Omega family. Laughs

    -His

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. -His,

      Thanks, will have to write about that at some point, tho, the outings tho rare without the kids are probably more interesting.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  9. I think that sometimes when we post something that really outs us
    and makes us vulnerable
    it's scary
    and sometimes our readers want to "help"
    and because we've put so much out there it stings

    I found this sweet
    and daring

    and you painted a lovely lovely picture.

    sfp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sfp,

      Oh thank you so much! Yes, it's true. Lots of concerns with this post. So happy you saw the beauty of that day, because honestly that's how mouse felt about it.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  10. sounds like good times to me!

    thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Sir,

      Thank you so very much!!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  11. Mouse,

    I understand that you were uncertain to share this and I understand why. I never wish for you at any time, to edit yourself out of fear for what your readers might think. I have said before, I am a big boy and can handle criticism constructive or otherwise.

    I love you mouse and nothing will change that.

    Unconditionally,
    Omega

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Daddy,

      Thanks for this. And ya you're right mouse shouldn't worry so much!!

      Love you too Daddy!!!

      -m

      Delete
  12. I feel that way when far from Ward - I feel that way often right now. I found the post quite lovely, and lyrical, mouse, and Omega's response sweet and lovely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard being apart from them. There are times when he's super busy...it feels like he's much further away...yanno?

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
    2. I know exactly what you mean!

      Hugs,
      June

      Delete
    3. Somehow, after checking out your blog mouse kinda thought you would!

      Hugs again,
      mouse

      Delete
  13. I loved the simplicity of this, its being controlled without the bells and whistles and the naturallness (is that a word?, well it is now) of it.

    tori xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,

      Hmmm didn't think about that way, but your right.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  14. Such a beautiful post, thank you for sharing. I read here often (don't always comment) but the one thing I always come away with is a peaceful feeling, does that make sense?

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank Ronnie,

      Honestly, mouse often feels the same way after reading your blog! Don't always comment there, but do enjoy reading!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  15. Dear mouse,
    As a longtime vanilla lurker, I have read your entire blog. Your life is completely different from mine and I will admit to having to google things I don't understand. However, the love between you and Omega shines through the things that you write. You are happy, he's happy and you should write what you want. It's your blog, and I for one will keep reading!
    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome Melissa,

      If you have any questions please feel free to ask them. Thanks so much for reading and please don't be a stranger!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  16. What I find so lovely and appealing about this post is that it takes the power exchange and puts it in the context of a day spent in the outside world.

    And I can totally relate to what you said about what people choose to comment on--sometimes I feel like I have these major epiphanies that are like neon signs in the sky, and people happily focus in on something completely unrelated that I hadn't even really thought about lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lil,

      Thanks so much for your comment. It's something he'd like to see more of.

      Yes, it's strange sometimes what readers will comment on. When mouse wrote about being spanked by Daddy -- she really thought that would have been the big news. But everyone ignored that part...lmao. That said, really people can comment in whatever they wish...mouse loves hearing from people regardless!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete

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