Love is Asking to be Loved

Public expectations. It's very rare we go out alone together. Once in a blue moon type of thing...really -- well, lately. This highlights the differences now when it's just the two of us, verses being surrounded by firiends and or family. This post was written a while back, but never published -- it concerned mouse the post might be viewed harshly, however in light of her recent posts it seemed more appropriate and valid.

Daddy had the day off, his mom gleefully offered to watch the baby, and so, we went out. Daddy, walked with mouse beside him, his hand guiding her, controlling each step, on the small of her back. We stopped in a cafe and mouse knows better to touch the menu, or speak unless spoken to. The waiter arrives, asking if we've decided, and what mouse wants. Looking to Daddy, mouse smiles but keeps her eyes lowered. Daddy orders for mouse, then for himself. Honestly, mouse pays little attention to the exchange.

The waiter brings a bloody Mary for Daddy and mimosa for mouse.

Daddy takes his drink and sips it; mouse does not move until invited to by Daddy. Looking only at the drink, tiny bubbles pushing their way passed the orange juice. Slowly mouse alters her gaze staring at Daddy's shirt. The transparent gaze of her eyes moving lower, a smile forms. Sitting quietly, it occurs to mouse that she just never knows what to do with her hands and feels self-conscious. Should she place them on her lap or keep them delicately within his vision on the table? Daddy seems to like to see them so she doesn't move.

The waiter returns with some small scones and fresh jam, Daddy thanks him as he walks away. To serve Daddy, mouse, reaches slowly for one, takes using her fingers, pulls it apart nicely. Using a small spoon, places a small dollop of jam, repeating this process, she carefully arranges them on the small plate and hands it to him. Daddy samples it with one hand, while touching the nape of mouse's neck with the other. Daddy seems pleased, offering mouse a small bite. He feeds it to her very slowly slowly.

Are people watching? With her eyes fixed only on Daddy, mouse cannot be certain anyone has taken any notice.

It does taste good. Daddy now invites mouse to sample her beverage. The bubbles tickle her nose. Was that the rattle of chains she heard as she shifted in her seat? No. But she can hear them all the time, especially when she feels so contented. Sometimes it feels, mentally mouse is chained to Daddy and it drives her deep feelings of submission.

The waiter returns to check on Daddy's, drink. He passes on a second. The waiter ignores mouse, since she's barely touched her drink. Curious though, she muses about it, her mind drifting away. A short while later, someone else noisily asks who had the eggs benedict, startling mouse - jolting her back to reality. Daddy indicates they are for the lady and it is placed in front her as his order is placed in front of him. Like a ghost, mouse is ignored. They ask him if he would like anything else, he asks for coffee and hot sauce.

Now, things become interesting as mouse just watches him. Sometimes Daddy will feed the girl, other times he will allow her to feed herself. All mouse does know is that she cannot presume. His coffee arrives with his toast and hot sauce. Silently, mouse watches Daddy, dumping hot sauce over his meal, and wrinkles her nose.

Daddy looks to her asking," want some?" and mouse says nothing in return, it is for him to decide (but also knows he won't). He smiles at mouse, and hands her the knife, telling her to eat. Thanking him, she begins and eats delicately, slowly, watching Daddy between bites. Now it's odd that she knows to drink her mimosa, and to eat, but to also mind her manners. When mouse notices that Daddy is taking his time, enjoying the food, she does the same. The food is very good indeed and smiles brightly when she is asked.

The waiter returns to check on us, says nothing to mouse, but only to Daddy, leaving her to consider briefly how he, in an odd sort of way, controls them too. Without telling them they just understand mouse is to be ignored completely.

When he is finished eating, so is she. There's still a few bites of food on her plate. Daddy feeds it to mouse, slowly methodically...

Daddy claims the final bite for himself, and remarks how the hollandase sauce is very light tasting. He winks at mouse and she smiles. The check comes, he pays for it, tells mouse to finish her drink, one small swallow remains. As she's told, she takes it.

He walks toward the bathroom, waiting outside while mouse touches up her face and reapplied her lipstick. Then he again leads her out, his hand controlling her steps. We pause by a bookstore, which opened while we ate and he leads mouse inside.

Daddy walks her through the store, pausing. Watching him, mouse tries to ignore the books and keep her attention on him. He picks up a book on decorating, handing it to mouse to look at. It's full of beautiful pictures. For a moment she's lost looking at the book, and in this odd, seldom felt, but delicious headspace. Looking up for a moment she realizes, Daddy vanished! Panic fills her...quietly like a child she begins to tremble, hands shaking as she turned the pages and eyes well with tears. After a few minutes Daddy's back, he regards mouse, takes out a handkerchief and dries her tears, kissing her forehead tenderly.

He buys the decorating book and the other book he wanted, directing mouse back to his car.

He opens the door, helps mouse inside and attaches the seatbelt. He lifts her skirt high up on her thigh. He places the purchase into the trunk, and slides behind the wheel. He touches mouse's thigh with his fingers. Moving his hand further up her skirt, until he grazes her sex. It flames in wetness and heat. He withdraws his fingers and drives.

Song Selection: Love; John Lennon