How Does it Feel

Daddy likes mouse to be still for periods of time. From the moment he captures her tongue mouse understands she's not invited to speak until released from that particular bondage. It's an exercise in restraint and very, very much like being bound.

During those times, mouse is often free to read, listen to music on the overhead system, never on the iPod, or move about the room, anything so long as, no sound escapes her lips. No giggles, groans, or even sighs (normally of boredom). This will normally be required whilst Daddy works in study, wishing mouse to be close to him, but not to be a nuisance to him. To be rather as a pretty bouquet of flowers for him to admire or not -- this also why generally Daddy requires mouse to unbutton her blouse, leaving herself open or exposed to him.

At times, he will take a break to rest his eyes or consider a point and ask for hot water or other beverage. Then mouse will get a tray, arrange a cup saucer, honey and lemon. Sometimes he'll ask for tea, mouse knows sometimes he'll takes lemon, other times a splash of milk. Both are prepared, just in case. On a few occasions, he might unzip his trousers and allow mouse to pleasure him, but while he might make sounds of pleasure (or frightfully none at all), mouse knows she cannot. Slurping and related sounds are acceptable, but moans or other sounds of pleasure are not.

There is also the job of wordlessly seeing to his needs, if the room is warm mouse will close the door or open an window if appropriate -- too cool the opposite might be done. Tending silently to needs is often tricky, requiring deep attention to details about Daddy. He'll often have trying days with miserable people; to come home to a quiet home, maybe a cool drink and extra attention has to be pleasant for him. Here, he can leave the stresses and challenges he faces at the door. While there are days where it just won't happen. The dog will bark at some unseen intruder into what he perceives his space warranting protection. Or the baby will cry, but really mouse works hard to shield Daddy from unpleasantness when he's home. Simply put mouse will carry the baby upstairs and tend to her there. Surprisingly there are times when he's feeling out of sorts to rock the baby...guess he finds it as soothing as she does.

We don't have many nights mouse would call, "Oh dear," moments where he grumbles endlessly. We've developed a plan. If his day is quite hard, he will send a text saying he wants to hop into the hot tub. This way mouse knows to have martinis waiting, swim trunks at the ready, a nice fluffy towel and the hot tub all ready to go (lights on, or whatever it needs before use).

Of course, being still only really applies to his study space (he rarely directs otherwise), ouside that space mouse may converse with the children, talk on the phone but only as needed. It's too easy to forget herself. There's nothing quite like that sinking feeling of failure after averting a crises and entering the study, while he's working declaring loudly, she's glad that's over!

No, mouse's purpose is to be very present, without really being obtrusive or obvious. Ready to serve without being in the way or lacking subtly.

Happy Friday!

Song selection: Grey Seal; Elton John