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Monday, March 18, 2013

Too Much

There is so much that is going through mouse's mind that she needs to say, but the thoughts are fleeting. Surely mouse has mentioned before, although she can't recall where or when, she has written in her mind hundreds of posts. By the time she has a free moment to sit quietly and put them down, the thought once brilliantly orchestrated, scatters like a dandelion in a breeze.

This must be in part because mouse is invariably distracted by shiny things. Now, she doesn't mean shiny in the literal sense, it could be her daughter's tears or her son's laughter. It could be Daddy wondering where the hot sauce is. Those, to mouse, are all shiny distractions.

Yet often a clear thought does remain. Sometimes mouse will begin to process the thought with some earnest only to decide later...well, that isn't very interesting after all or becomes stuck trying to recall the exact wording. Those posts, mouse fears will simply remain tucked inside her ever increasing draft folder.

Lately, mouse has been actively seeking Daddy's approval of her written text for clarity, since mouse is so often distracted the thoughts become choppy. Sometimes we'll discuss it and then together we decide not to publish it. Not because its bad, but it lacks clarity or seems too scattered -- lacking focus or direction.

One of the things recently mouse has been considering is to write about our power exchange, specifically as it relates to mouse's slavery to Daddy. It's hard tho to put it all into words when the essence of it all is to simply obey his wishes and serve him with a joyful heart.

Ah, the joyful heart part? Daddy believes that a slave should be happy in her slavery and it should shine. After all, mouse should be a reflection of everything Daddy is. So, if Daddy wants mouse to be still and wait while he does something -- it should be done, joyfully. Does this mean mouse is all smiles all the time. No, that would be fake and Daddy also demands honesty from mouse and the ability to be open.

It's like when Dsddy asks for a cup of tea, oftentimes it will be presented to him on a silver tray and looking quite fancy. Sure he'd be perfectly happy with a chipped mug and tea bag dangling off to the side. But that wouldn't feed mouse's joyful heart. it's in the process of taking out the good china, using a small silver spoon and arranging it for him that makes mouse happy.

It's much like when she holds a platter of food and allows him to take what he wants or making certain his hot sauce is on the table so that he doesn't need to ask for it. Or when we go out to eat and mouse will take a piece of bread, fixing it the way he likes it and places it on the plate for him to eat or ignore.

If during the night he desires intimacy, even if mouse is sound asleep and very much not in the mood (or doesn't expect it) she never denies him. Instead she opens herself up and wraps herself around him. Here it comes thst word joyful again...but maybe whorish depravity is better for that?

It's completely consensual for him to take what needs, even if he feels it's not being offered properly. And yes, sometimes mouse will dare to murmur, "no thank you," which always makes him laugh.

"Silly slave, open up"

"Yes Daddy." his slave softly mews as she parts her legs for him.

Because that's how it is -- she is for him. And she really does want him as much as he desires her.

7 comments:

  1. Joyful in submission.

    That is somthing i strive for, mostly i am, because i do enjoy serving him but i would be lying if i said i felt that all the time...mostly those times are when im tired and irritable.

    Your drafts folder sounds like mine, i have lots of posts that i have started, some even finished but im hesitant to press the publish button.

    I think for those that follow your blog regularly there is an understanding of how your power exchange works..even if elements of it are not always understood..how happy and content you are stands out.

    x



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    Replies
    1. I agree with tori. It is very evident from your blog that you are loved and love and that you are very happy.

      I have read most of your posts, even the ones before I became a regular reader and have a good understanding of the power exchange between you and Omega.

      One of our best friends who has been a submissive wife for 40 years, and spankos, told my wife that she sometimes struggles with her submission. Yet, she is a very happy person. I wonder if it is ever easy, I think not.

      Thank you for your insights.

      Hug,
      joey

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  2. "Silly slave, open up."

    You know... I might say "no thank you" more often if I got to hear those words in response... *shivers*

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  3. The scattered thoughts is something I can relate to. I am not obligated to write in my blog, it is my little space that my Daddy has given me to do as I wish. But I do have a art journal that he requires me to add to to express all those little fluttering thoughts that can be so elusive. I often look back to it to motivate my blog writing. Maybe having a small note book handy to jot down those thoughts or might help.

    The silly slave comment made me giggle because my Daddy days silly girl to me over similar occasions;)

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  4. I loved the "silly slave, open up.." too. This whole piece - lovely. On my good days - I can taste this, feel it. I fall down with the things we have to face together though, things that take both of us, for which i have to be equal - for lack of a better term. I lose sight of the desire to serve or the joyful heart when faced with things like family issues, troubles with our children, health things. Do you have any advice about walking both sides of that line? Thank you.

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  5. I think it is often difficult to find joy in service when our heart/mind/soul isn't quite ready at the moment. If we step back and look clearly, we know we will be happy when the service is completed and done well, but we balk at the moment of request.

    The key, I believe, in finding joy is to keep the long term view in mind. "I will be happy if I do this right, if I find ways to serve and make him/them/her happy." Then we can find joy at the beginning as well.

    Another well written and provocative piece. thank you Mouse.

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  6. "Here it comes thst word joyful again...but maybe whorish depravity is better for that?"

    I wonder if there is a great difference between that sense of being "joyful," and "whorish depravity?"

    And I think that what shines in your writing is your feeling of being settled and calm in the life you have chosen and been given. It is wonderful to read.

    swan

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