Despite his well kept appearance, Daddy has man hands. They're worn, calloused and rough -- mostly due to his passion for woodworking. Still it's a hobby he doesn't indulge in often enough. He's too busy to spend hours lost like that, but the effect it has on him is similar to what baking has on mouse.
Rough hands grabbing and caressing the tender parts fuels mouse's desire for him -- just as his scent drives her mad...His large hands can encircle her neck easily and without applying the least bit of pressure has the most incredible effect on mouse. In fact, even right now mouse can find the right words to describe it. Overpowering? Demonstrative? It draws out her submission to him the way few things can. Quickly resigning herself to him. Trust? Yes there is lots of that. It's like the trust a dog or cat displays when you touch their throat. Instinctively they want to self-protect, but the trust they feel overwhelms that urge and tempers it.
They simply trust and perhaps have great faith they won't be harmed.
Sometimes when Daddy touches mouse -- tenderly and at the right moment, the floodgates open and mouse will actually cry. It baffles Daddy. He instantly will worry if he'd done something wrong. He's pretty sure he wasn't too harsh so the emotional reaction makes him wonder. In truth, and it's taken mouse forever to realize it herself, he'll withhold so much of himself at times. It can just because he's not touchy feely guy or that he's busy...he doesn't care for open displays of affection. Even in private he's reserved.
Now this could just be surrounding issues he had with intimacy.
Over the past couple years that's been changing. He's been treating mouse more like a piece of delicate china. When he does this, it overwhelms mouse because deep down she needs it and it was an unmet need for such a long time. So long in fact, she'd forgotten that she even needed it. Once it began happening with some frequency more than a year ago, it struck mouse how badly she's needs the gentle him as much as the more sinister parts.
It was probably around the time mouse began referring to him as Daddy.
March 2011! Ok -- it's been more than a couple of years now. It punctuates for mouse how far we've both come.
Guess the bigger thing is mouse hasn't ever known a lot of tenderness. Let's be honest the biggest reason she probably stayed with Alpha at all was because he seemed to pay attention to her. There was little tenderness with him tho...it was all about pain.
What also drew mouse to Daddy was maybe his aloofness and strong responsible streak. We seemed at the time to be more than suited for each other and mouse was more than comfortable with the level of affection he'd show. Then, as he began to show more affection...
And for a while now, he's been showing much more affection and gentleness and it takes mouse's breath away! There's been times that she's doubted his love or wondered if maybe he was somehow trying to manipulate her, but never again. We're inside each other. And that's nice.
Added this morning...
Daddy read this post (who knows it it'll be published at this point), he remarked that a smart man once told him when we first got together that this relationship wouod change Daddy more than he would ever realize. Sir J was completely right.
And mouse is thrilled about that and beyond thrilled with all Daddy's given her. Thank you! I love you.
Song Selection: Let's Stay Together; Al Green