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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Comments

It's flattering when people will say  in a comment that they're reading the blog from the beginning while mouse applauds them, tho part of mouse does want to scream...Oh no....Don't! You'll see how mouse hasn't changed at all and still whines about the same stuff she whined about from the start. Ok, that last bit was harsh, because Daddy is quick to point out there has been a lot of growth in mouse.

We do completely welcome comments or remarks on past posts (even those done years ago), and it's just a little harder for mouse to followup on them at times...but she will weed through and reply where appropriate. There was a funny exchange on post found here, between tori and cockdoll/goodgirl. This was hugely exciting for mouse to see people interacting in their own way.

It felt like we were truly sitting around the kitchen table having a chat.

All too often blogging feels more like giving a lecture or talk on something of shared interest. The conversation that occurs generally has to do with the content, directed at Daddy or mouse, but not really with others commenting, unless they agree. That's why mouse was so excited to see this.

Tori remarked about a time she cut her hair super short, because she was frustrated with her Master. A very brave or silly move but one that mouse could understand. The need to do something completely drastic to get their attention. She further remarked that he (her owner) threatened to shave her head. So Daddy and mouse are in bed and we're talking about that. He was holding mouse at the time, we were happy and contented. And mouse was talking about the comment.

Daddy gets busy too (which was the point of the post), and there are times that mouse feels like doing something drastic to get his attention. Daddy looked at mouse and said something about how this wasn't his trip to the rodeo...and reminded mouse that he had actually shaved a woman's head before. The slave in question and very long lovely hair and cut it short against his wishes. Very short. Like Demi in Ghost.

So Daddy took out a pair clippers and shaved her head (now it should be noted, Daddy said the slave worked from home so it wasn't like she had to go to work with a bald head - her family lived in another state). He said it was appropriate for this particular person and he would never do it without taking many things into consideration. But he did completely shave her head. Suddenly mouse recalled having a discussion on another blog (sin?) where she told that Daddy had once shaved a slave's head. He also noted the effect was profound on the slave -- instantly increasing her submission to him.

Letting go of the vanity...

He also said he'd never do that to mouse or consider doing it because it wouldn't be appropriate for us.

Whew!

Then Malcolm wrote something that mouse didn't know how to respond to. In fact that remark gave her such pause she didn't want to single it out, so she didn't comment or reply to anyone's comments on that post.

He wrote:

I think it's hard to ask because then it wouldn't be much of a punishment. Don't you want it to be against your will? Don't you want him to force on you something you don't want? Seems to me that's how the dynamic works much of the time. If you are really naughty, you can earn a real punishment, not a fake one, and that is so much more satisfying.

The knee-jerk reaction to this was simply "no."

There are times that mouse does want to be forced to comply but not all the time and certainly not over any whim Daddy might have. There must be some trust in it that he wouldn't require mouse to do something she'd find so distasteful that it would be damaging to her and to us. Daddy wouldn't bother punishing for a "fake" reason. Deep down we'd both know it wasn't "real" but an excuse to play or whatever. But the larger problem is that punishments while they can feel cathartic are rarely "satisfying" or at least in the way mouse interpreted Malcolm to mean. There are indeed strong feelings of completion that follow a punishment. Daddy always explains why mouse is being punished, and honestly, mouse herself is well aware of the reasons since she's likely been warned a few times before.

Now having said that Daddy does feel a level of satisfaction that a debt has been paid, penance made and feels its best to just keep moving forward...but he also doesn't enjoy punishing mouse. He'd much rather have her go to him on her knees and beg for his touch or the leather strap or whatever than to punish. However such corrections are needed. That's another thing that mouse trusts too...if she stsrts drifting too far, he will find the appropriate way to pull her back.


19 comments:

  1. mouse,

    I have found tremendous growth in you and your relationship through the years. Mostly, I sense the love and connection between you and Omega growing and maturing.

    Hug,
    joey

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  2. I think I should finally comment on here, seeing as how I've just finished ready every single post from the very first one. -took me almost 3 months- I'm Jacy (not my real name) and I am happily married with a few kids. I want you to know that you inspired me to do something big, and I got even bigger results than I had imagined. First, while reading your posts I spent March observing my own relationship...my attitude...my respect to my Husband...my willing submissiveness to him...and how what/how I am effects his daily life, our marriage and our family life. What a slap in the face I got in return. Sad for me...amazing and wonderful for my relationship! The following month, I went out of my way to be Respectful and Submissive without hesitation. Uh...yeah...it wasn't alway 100% perfect...but I did go a solid 3 weeks without one argument, not one confrontation, and not one single feeling of 'this is overwhelming'. I also didn't tell anyone what I was doing...but oh heck it was noticed!! One day, without me even saying anything to my husband about what I had been doing he came up to me after I made a snotty remark to him and after firmly putting his hand on my arm he said "Stop it!" Ina voice I've never really heard before. He commanded me and demanded from me at the same time. He continued with "this isn't ok and you need to stop. Now!" - uh, that's all the correction I needed right then and this feeling washed over me that I can't explain other than its what I've read from you. My head was on right again and I didn't need anything more to go right back to being sweet again. Thank you. Thank you for posting the way you have and the way you do. He knows I'm reading your blogs (and a few others) but right now he's just letting me and not getting involved too much. He askes me about my reading and I share and answer openly. Though we are not living this lifestyle, there are aspects of it that I'm interested in learning more about. I've seen more of his 'take Charge' attitude and...am I crazy?...I feel like I may be craving it more...and in a big way!

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    1. Hello :) I am a happy reader of mouse and Omega and although this is their place for thought I just wanted to send you a warm virtual hug and wish you all the best. Growth is often challenging, that is what makes it worth while. Wishing you and your husband all the best on your journey.

      ~cockdoll

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    2. Jacy that's just wonderful! And welcome to the blog! Totally must echo goodgirl's sentiments here. It is challenging and work, but the benefits are simply huge!

      Hugs and again welcome!
      mouse

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  3. I think you are right mouse you are just like you were in the beginning articulate, funny, intelligent, open and honest. Now you are just all of those things and a little wiser and a lot happier. Still you though, lucky us.

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    1. You're very kind Sir! Thank you so much, you've been with us since the very beginning!

      Your comments always make mouse smile!

      Much love,
      mouse

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  4. I need to clarify, I have actually shaved the head of two slaves I have owned. Both were completely appropriate and consensual.

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    1. May i ask, when you say consensual is that in the context of they wanted/sought out to have their heads shaved?

      I was wandering because its not something i would seek out willingly, yet if he chose to do it, (which as long as i dont go drastic again is very unlikely) its not something i would/could refuse because consent is a given.

      I suppose maybe its down to the appropriate circumstances/structure of the dynamic?

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  5. There are a fair few of your older posts that i have wanted to comment on when i read through, but honestly i felt that perhaps you may not want to re-visit past emotions/experiences when you have come so far.

    The bossman is very big on punishments and forms of discipline fitting the trangression when and if appropriate so yes i really thought he would carry it out, and i think what stopped him was the fact that he needed to consider 'outside' factors..my children, work, family...but i also know from past experiences that when he makes a threat he will carry it out and should it happen again im well aware of the consequences, so yes well..lesson learned.

    I did also contemplate making a comment to Malcolms comment but as it was directed at you i didnt want to cause offence not that my comment would be offensive.

    I think (or it seems to me of late) that punishment in ttwd seems to get a bad rap, i appreciate that for some it is fun, you know the bratty type of play to get 'punished' but for us punishment is not something that is wanted.

    Perhaps its simply that i cant relate to that type of play as it is something i avoid....plus he has little or rather no tolerance for bratty behaviour.

    x







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    1. Tori...really don't edit yourself!. We appreciate all you have to say (Daddy said he'll address your comment to him when he has more time). Really mouse was completely at a loss as to what to say or reply to Malcolm. Part if her does agree..but part of her said nope..

      Sometimes emotions are just confusing and so is submission specifically to how we process things like needs and desires.

      Hugs and love,
      mouse

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  6. I love your blog mouse! I think you & Omega are amazing people to overcome all that you have, and to now have a strong & loving relationship today!

    I am very new to this lifestyle (kinda dumped alone into the deep end) and your blog has been very inspiring to me. So thank you!

    Oh yeah & I agree with Sir J! ;)

    LK

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  7. there are things you don't want, but are willing to accede to
    and there are things you neither want nor are willing to accept.

    It's not all "push me, force me, make me!"
    There is a balance, based on mutual respect and understanding.
    This is a fine distinction that often gets lost in the shuffle, I think.

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    1. THAT'S IT!

      Sorry for shouting but yes! There needs to be a whole lotta balance!

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  8. mouse (and Omega)
    I hope my desire to journey to the beginning has not been unsettling to you or caused you to fret. To begin I do not expect replies to all I comment on. Even if a question has been asked. You have moved forward and sometimes revisiting previous experiences can be challenging. When I read through this journey of yours I am moved by the growth you appear to have experienced. I see it in the words you use as well as the experiences themselves. Life lessons can be benefitted by all who read what others have endured and I am grateful to have the opportunity to view bits and pieces of yours.

    In regards to commenting on other comments, I do try to be mindful as not to invade your personal space. Sometimes I am compelled to find out more or give a word of encouragement or simply to share a laugh.

    A few years ago I thought of shaving my head. When it comes to ego, mine is composed of my intellect (something I have been working on) and when it comes to my vanity, all of it lies within my hair. Because of this I wanted to shave it off, make me find value and beauty in other parts of myself. I recall asking my Master if he would permit it and he refused. I remember how sad I was at his refusal. He would not even allow me to cut it super short, wanting it long and pretty.

    Although it would not be easy to have my head shaved, I am fortunate to have let go of that vanity for although he refused to allow me to shave my head he forced me not to wash it for an entire week. Letting me feel the greasy locks against my skin. I was allowed to bathe, thank goodness, but not wash my hair. It was challenging; however, by the end of it I realised my beauty does not lie within my hair, it is part of who I am. As a whole. Should my head be shaved tomorrow I would be okay with it. I would miss it, although I would feel a sense of freedom from it as well.

    As women we often try hard to remove as much hair from our bodies as possible in order to be pretty, all but our head. What silly creatures we are really. If I lost my hair tomorrow I would still be me, pretty and flawed and happy and silly. The act of shaving my head although intimate and shocking would not disturb me. Being told I have disappointed my Master would hurt me more than head shaving. The shaving would almost sooth me, penance paid and freedom from the worry of: Is my hair perfect? How will I do my hair? Does it look nice to him? Should I straighten it or curl it? None of those questions would surface. I would wake and tend to my day.

    For me, a harsher punishment would be not being permitted to use my voice, having my opinion removed from conversations. That would prickle me to the core.

    I am curious, if you do not mind me asking Omega, what satisfaction(?) did that give you to shave their heads? Do you personally feel it is as big of a deal as many submissive women feel it is? And for you mouse, do you feel having your head shaved would change who you are and how you are viewed? Do you view others differently if they have a shaved head?

    Much warmth,
    ~cockdoll

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  9. Cockdoll,

    Thanks so much for all your comments! Really we welcome them all -- with past posts it allowed mouse to really reflect on all the changes! It was nice.

    Regarding the head shaving...there is soemthing tied to mouse's hair...probably vanity but the near thought gives mouse huge anxiety. Even if she never saw another person until it grew back..the very thought.....

    It's funny but it shouldn't make any difference. There are many men that shave their heads (tho few can really carry that look well). Women, dunno...haven't seen many (unless it's for a medical reason and in that case they have mouse's sympathies). Do know a couple women who wear wigs, just because...

    Dunno...

    It's hard to answer. Deep down mouse knows she shouldn't view herself any harsher than another person...but then again she can be much harder on herself. If her head was shaved as a punishment...it would ghastly. Just the shame mouse would feel would be overwhelming.

    Not talking is bad enough. It's true mouse can be a total chatter box, so being still is Daddy's favorite punishment.

    Thanks for your comments!!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  10. I've been reading from the beginning, and sometimes have to force myself not to comment until I'm completely caught up. Your posts are so moving. You've made immense strides mouse, so please don't feel that you haven't changed! The change I see is incredible.

    - JayBee

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